Seven Ways You and Your Kids Can Help the Hurting

It’s hard to believe another attack has taken more innocent lives in the short time I’ve been working on this blog series about coping with tragedy. As we continue to keep our minds set on God’s promises and pray for those who are hurting, let’s look at some practical ways we can be light and strength in our world that is dark and fragile. Today’s post is simply a list of service projects you can do with your kids to spread joy and hope to those who are hurting, both locally and around the world. Feel free to add your own in the comments or post pictures of you and your kids getting in on the fun. Use #LightandStrength so I can find you on social media!

1.      Pack a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child – This is a favorite in the Frye home! My kids love filling a shoebox with toys, school supplies and hygiene items for a child whose only Christmas gift may be the shoebox. Collection week is November 13-20. Find out how to pack a shoebox here: https://www.samaritanspurse.org/operation-christmas-child/pack-a-shoe-box/

2.      Visit a nursing home – I love watching the faces of the residents when children come to visit. Children have a way of bringing joy just with their presence. Gather up some friends and their kids, and contact the activities director at a local nursing home. Schedule a time to visit. Things to do while you’re there: sing songs, play an instrument, play a game, color a picture, do a simple craft, paint finger nails. It doesn’t have to be a big production. Just be present.

3.      Make cookies for your neighbors – This is another favorite in our home. Twice a year, we bake and package up cookies for several of our neighbors and put them in their mailbox with a hand-written note.

4.      Give your gently used toys a new home – Play It Forward Pittsburgh collects gently used toys and then offers them free to families who are in need or might be having a tough year. Not only can you and your children donate, but you can get involved with distribution day! Find all the details here: http://www.playitforwardpittsburgh.com/

5.      Help make a house a home – The Family House provides a special “home away from home” for patients and/or their families who are in Pittsburgh seeking medical treatment. Volunteers set up dinners and group activities for guests to enjoy. Get all the details here: http://www.familyhouse.org/volunteer.htm

6.      Create necessity bags for the homeless – Get your kids and their friends together to make necessity bags for the homeless. Items to gather: toothpaste, toothbrushes, chap stick, crackers, travel size shampoo, etc.). Locally, an organization called The Least of These, collects the bags and takes them downtown for the homeless. Here is their facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/The-Least-of-These-178840109256232/?hc_location=ufi

7.      Donate to disaster relief – When we hear of tragedies and natural disasters on the news, we are compelled to give, but it’s hard to know what organizations to trust with our money. One highly reputable organization that I recommend is Samaritan’s Purse. See all the amazing work they are doing here: https://spvolunteernetwork.samaritanspurse.org/category/current-projects/

If you missed the other posts in this series, here are the links:

We Will Not Be Consumed

Set Your Mind

Remembering God's Promises

Lord, Help My Unbelief

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Welcome back to my blog series where we’re talking about how to cope well with tragedy or crisis. This week’s focus is prayer, but I’m going to put a little spin on it by partnering it with something I think we all struggle with – unbelief.

Unbelief keeps us praying small prayers because ultimately, we don’t really believe God will come through for us on the big things. But as God’s Chosen and Crowned daughters, we must deal with our unbelief so we can be strength and light in our fragile and dark world.

In his book on prayer, Dick Eastman says, “Many come close to defeating this doubting spirit and some almost succeed. Faith, however, is never ‘almost.’ Real prayer consists of bold, confident petitions and a certainty that the answer will come. Until unbelief is conquered, progress will be halted.”

When I think of progress being halted, I picture someone or something that has gotten themselves stuck. Last winter, I went on a hike with a group of teenagers that was supposed to be easy, but when the leader decided to go off trail, our hike changed dramatically. We found ourselves fighting our way over rugged terrain and through thick brush. One of the girls jumped off a rock and landed knee deep in mud.

She. Was. Stuck.

I waited to see how she would react. Would she cry about the mud sucking her shoes right off her feet when she tried to move? Would her scrapes and bruises keep her from finishing the hike well? After all, this detour was not her idea. It was the leader’s. She was not prepared with proper footwear and now look what happened! Her favorite shoes were ruined! I am excited to tell you that this young lady handled herself with such grace. As we helped pull her out of her sticky situation, she laughed about her mud-soaked shoes and pants, and finished the hike with a positive attitude. She later shared that God used that experience to teach her how to rise up when a situation literally tried to pull her down and make her stuck.

We can learn so much from this story! Tragedy or crisis throws us off course and onto a rugged path we never planned for or wanted to explore. But for reasons that are higher than ours, God decided to allow it. As we fight our way through the pain, there comes a time when the mud of grief, bitterness, fear and despair sucks us in. When this happens, it forces us to answer this question -- do we trust him with our suffering or not? In the struggle to answer this question lies an opportunity.

We get to choose if we’ll stay stuck or rise above our circumstance.

For those who choose to sit in their unbelief of God’s love and faithfulness, they will stay stuck in their anguish. How that must grieve God’s heart as he kneels in the mud beside them holding out a rope that will pull them to a place of peace, rest and joy. But for those who cry out, “Help my unbelief!” while grabbing hold of the rope of God’s promises, they are the ones who will rise up with strength and joy. They are the ones who will see goodness and beauty in the land.

They are the overcomers.

Friend, God calls us to pray when we face trials. He gives us his promises to help shape our prayers, reminding us that he is faithful to his word and is always looking to perform it. May you find comfort as you rest in him today. 

If you missed the other posts in this series, here are the links:

We Will Not Be Consumed

Set Your Mind

Remembering God's Promises

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Hi there! If you’ve been along for this blog series, you know we are right in the middle of learning how to cope well with tragedy. If you missed the first two posts, I’ll put the links at the end for you. Today we’re focusing on God’s promises. I realize that some of you reading this are dealing with your own personal tragedy or crisis. May you be strengthened by God’s Word to you today.

God’s promises are oxygen when life is suffocating us. We must breathe in his Word until it penetrates every cell of our being. We can do nothing apart from God, so if we don’t let him breathe life into us throughout our crisis, a part of us will die. Hope, courage, strength and joy will be among the fatalities. The loss of these beauties is the real tragedy. So as people of God who want to be strength and light in a fragile and dark world, let’s nestle ourselves deep into God’s promises so that beauty will arise.

The Bible is so full of God’s promises, that it really isn’t possible to count them. And here is the exciting news, “No matter how many promises God has made, they are ‘Yes’ in Christ” (2 Corinthians 1:20). This means that as God’s Chosen and Crowned child, you can put on the oxygen mask of God’s promises and walk boldly through the fire of whatever trial is trying to consume you. The path may be extra smokey at times, making it hard to see your next step. You may stumble or have to fight your way through some obstacles, but hear me when I tell you…you will not be consumed. With God by your side, you will emerge a beauty from the ashes. Do you believe that?

Let’s look at just a few promises you can breathe in as you face your day today:

God is your ever-present help in time of need. “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way. God is within her (you!), she will not fall” (Psalm 46).

God brings overwhelming good out of overwhelming bad. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

God goes before you and surrounds you as a shield. “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deuteronomy 31:8).

Your present suffering pales in comparison to your future glory. “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18).

He will uphold and strengthen you. “I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my victorious right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).

God will rebuild and restore. He makes everything beautiful in its time. Read Isaiah 61 in its entirety this week. Through Jesus, the promises of this passage are available to you.

Dear friend, let your heavenly Father love on you today. Breathe in his promises until you feel the spark of strength return. God is faithful and a hundred percent trustworthy. Let him ignite you with hope. Remember, you are his Chosen and Crowned.

If you missed the first two posts, here are the links. Just click on the title to read!

We Will Not Be Consumed

Set Your Mind

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Last week I introduced my new blog series about coping with tragedy. The latest news of the Las Vegas mass shooting, along with the devastating hurricanes has many of us searching for ways to be strength and light in a world that has become fragile and dark. If you missed my first post which introduced four ways we can be difference-makers, read it here.

Today’s post will focus on the first of four ways you can cope well and make a difference: You can set your mind and keep it set.

Tragedy has a way of violently rocking our emotions. We don’t know what to do with it. We strain for understanding and hate that catastrophe has gained the upper hand. It leaves us feeling helpless, fearful and cynical. If we want to be strength and light in the midst of devastation, we must heed the Bible’s wisdom to set our mind and keep it set.  Colossians 3:2 instructs us, “Set your mind and keep focused habitually on the things above [the heavenly things], not on things that are on the earth [which have only temporal value].”

It’s vital to remember – you get to choose your thoughts. If you typically default to negative thinking and hopeless thoughts when tragedy strikes, it’s time to change your default setting. This will take conscious effort and practice, but it is well worth it. Why? Because you are a person of influence – especially over your kids. Your thoughts directly affect your words and actions, and they are watching how you act and talk in response to the news. This is your opportunity! Will you build their faith or build their fear and cynicism?

If there is only one thing my mind can set itself on during overwhelming disaster, it is this:  God can bring overwhelming good from overwhelming bad. As people of God, we are never without hope. If we look hard enough, we will find stories of beauty rising from the ashes of tragedy. When we do this, we deprive evil of its power. We make room for good to triumph in our hearts and in the hearts of those we influence.

Here are some beautiful things to look for and bring to center stage of your thoughts and conversations:

Look for God working through his people to be an ever-present help in time of need. Watch how communities come together to help restore and rebuild. See people, whose hearts were once hard towards God, come to him for comfort and healing. Stand in awe of the small and unexplainable things that happen in the days to come which can only be explained as God.

As you set your mind to watch for and celebrate the beauty, let this build your faith. Our time on this earth is like a mist – it lasts only a short while. But in God’s great mercy, he has given us a living hope through Jesus Christ and an inheritance in heaven that can never be destroyed. Our souls are shielded by God’s power. So in all this “you can greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials, these have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” (1 Peter 1:6).

Next week, we will focus on God’s promises. Setting our minds on specific promises helps us get a grip when our foundation is shaking. It keeps us from being wishy-washy Christians and enables us to be strength and light in our fragile and dark world.  So come back next Thursday for more of the conversation!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

It’s hard to not feel overwhelmed with sadness when the world around us is reeling from tragedy.  News of natural disasters, mass shootings and wars assaults our soul and can cause our faith to falter. We wish there was something we could do to make a difference, but since we feel so far away from the tragedy, we feel helpless. So we turn off the news and distract ourselves with the busy-ness of our own lives. We know, of course, this isn’t a satisfying way to cope, but what can we do?

Over the next few weeks, my blog will focus on four ways we can be people of strength and light in the midst of a world that has become fragile and dark:

We can set our mind and keep it set. It’s easy to become cynical, fearful, and hopeless when we look at all that’s happening in our world. But Colossians 3:2 wisely instructs us, “Set your mind and keep focused habitually on the things above [the heavenly things], not on things that are on the earth [which have only temporal value].” As people of God, we are never without hope. If we look hard enough, we can always find stories of beauty rising from the ashes of tragedy. We must set our minds on the beauty and use it to season our conversations with our kids, family and friends. When we do this, we deprive evil of its power. We make room for good to triumph in our hearts and in the hearts of those we influence.

We can remember God’s promises. The Bible is so full of God’s promises, that it really isn’t possible to count them. He promises to be with us and to help us in time of need. He promises to bring overwhelming good from an overwhelmingly bad situation. His promises are endless, and they are there for us to nestle ourselves into when we feel cynical, hopeless and afraid. His promises are good news! When we hold out the light of God’s promises, we hold out strength and hope for others to grab hold of. Second Corinthians 1:20 says, “For no matter how many promises God has made, they are ‘Yes’ in Christ. And so through (Jesus) the ‘Amen’ is spoken by us to the glory of God.”

We can pray. Prayer is not the least we can do. It’s the most. When disaster strikes, God calls his people to prayer, saying, “if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land (2 Chronicles 7:14). Prayer honors God. Prayer moves the hand of God. Prayer brings healing to our land.

We can tangibly help. A friend and I were talking recently about how to tangibly help those most affected by the latest tragedies. She said she didn’t know what organization to trust with her money, so she settled for saying yes at the checkout line when the cashier asked her if she would like to donate to the relief fund. I chuckled, completely relating to her struggle and knowing our “yes” at the checkout line does little to satisfy our desire to help. So here’s what I’m going to do. Over the next couple of weeks, I’m going to research organizations and ways we, along with our kids, can tangibly help. When it comes time for the blog post that focuses on this point, I will offer those resources to you too, so that together, we can make a difference!

Want to be a difference maker? Stay with me on my blog for the next few weeks as I dig deeper into each point. Invite a friend to join the conversation. Together we can bring strength and light to our hurting world.  

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

“It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God – that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.” 1 Corinthians 1:30

When I was home full time with my three little ones, I enjoyed listening to a well-known Bible teacher who had a daily television program. She had a gift of communicating Bible truths in a simple, practical way. I learned so much from her. She regularly put a challenge out to her audience, promising it would change their life if they chose to accept it. The challenge was this: Learn who you are in Christ.

I was intrigued, but wasn’t sure where to start. What did the phrase “in Christ” even mean? I let her challenge pass me by for about a year before I decided to take it. And guess what? She was right. It changed my life.

I started my search by asking myself the question “Who am I?” I am a mom and wife. I am friendly and extroverted. Many people tell me I’m a woman who shines for Jesus, but a few tell me I’m a fake. Maybe they’re right. After all, I am a woman with a sinful past, and sometimes I’m selfish and mean. Who’s right?

Do you ever get conflicting reports about who you are? Some days you feel strong and brave, but then a person or circumstance comes along the next day and makes you feel weak, stupid and hopeless. Basing our identity on the people and circumstances around us buckles us in for a roller coaster ride filled with hills of confidence and valleys of insecurity. God doesn’t want you living an insecure life.

This is why the “in Christ” part of who we are is absolutely essential to know. You see, it doesn’t matter who you say you are or who the people around you say you are. What matters is who Christ says you are. And in Christ, your identity is secure and beautiful.

Our focus verse today points out that Jesus became your righteousness, holiness and redemption when he died on the cross for you. Your identity in the presence of God is forever changed. In your sin, you were an enemy of God. Because of Jesus, you are now his beloved daughter. In your sin, you were dirty and unholy. Because of Jesus, you are clean and holy. In your sin, your eternal destiny was hell. Because of Jesus, your life has been redeemed and your eternal destiny is heaven.

The Bible has much more to say about who you are in Christ. I challenge you to look up every scripture that contains the phrase “in Christ”. If you choose to accept the challenge, I promise it will change your life. Your beautiful, purpose-filled, life-giving identity is kept by Jesus. Thank him today that your identity is not based on what you have done, but by what he has done. Know today that in every way, you are kept by Jesus. Oh, how he loves you.

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” Isaiah 26:3

I’ve sat down three times this week to write something your heart could grab hold of regarding a phrase I love in the Bible, “kept by Jesus Christ”. This phrase creates images of being guarded, protected, and held together. Here’s my problem though…I have been feeling the opposite of held together. Unraveled would be a better word choice -- unraveled by fear, discouragement, frustration, worry, anger, and jealousy. I have PMS, too, which means my sanity could come unraveled at any moment.  

My unraveling heart needed some sturdy fabric to grab onto, so I decided to have a chat with God about this “kept by Jesus” idea. He reminded me that his promises are sturdy. His word promises that Jesus guards our minds by offering us peace that passes all understanding, joy that gives us strength to persevere, and rest in the midst of life’s fiercest storms.

Yes. I love God’s promises, and I believe with all my heart they are sturdy. So if Jesus is guarding my peace, joy and rest, why do I feel them slipping away?

I found my answer in today’s focus verse. Read it again and notice what is required of us. Jesus keeps us in perfect peace…as we trust in him and fix our thoughts on him.

Oh man! Our thought life is a constant battle, isn’t it?

In my unraveled state, I took inventory of my thoughts. All negative. They had been that way for a couple of days. No wonder I was in such a sad state. Each thought repeated over and over had ripped away at my peace and joy, leaving me like scraps of fabric in desperate need of a tailor.

Jesus to the rescue! He is a master mender. Can you picture him showing up at your front door with a sewing kit?! Ha! Each time we come unraveled, he lovingly calls us to himself. “Trust me with your circumstance,” he says as he pulls out your favorite color thread. “Fix your thoughts back on me and rest your anxious mind.”

He is so faithful. When we draw near to him, he stitches us back together and stands guard at the gate of our heart. He builds our faith and restores our peace as we trust in him. He infuses us with joy and undergirds us with strength as we fix our thoughts on him.

How are you feeling today, dear one? Take inventory of your thoughts. Are they causing you to come unraveled? If so, take your scraps to the Tailor. Remind yourself that God is trustworthy. Surrender your circumstances to him and let him restore your peace, joy and strength. Know today that you are kept by Jesus Christ. 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

“They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.” Isaiah 61:3

Do you ever feel like you’re living a smaller life than you were meant to? Is there a part of you that yearns to be a part of something bigger than yourself; to connect with friends and family more intimately; and to unveil the deeper layers of beauty that make you uniquely breath-taking?

Wow, we all long for those things, don’t we?! And yet they seem to remain just beyond our grasp. Like a horse chasing after, but never quite reaching the carrot dangling in front of his nose, we wear ourselves out chasing after, but never quite grasping greater purpose, unhindered relationships and true beauty.

So what’s holding us back? Simply…it’s fear.

Fear of stepping out to try something new. Fear of failure. Fear of forgiving. Fear of letting the real you shine. Fear of what others think.

What if there was a way to overcome fear? I have good news for you, but you’ll have to stay with me as I explain. The Bible says perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18). The only one who loves perfectly is God; therefore, the key to overcoming fear is experiencing deeper levels of God’s love for you. If you’ve never experienced God, but have only known about God, this concept will feel abstract. Believing that God desires for you to experience him will require faith on your part. You must also believe that God desires to heal and restore the places of your heart that have been devastated by fear, guilt, shame, and unforgiveness. As you experience the perfect, healing love of God, our focus verse says you will be called an oak of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. Note the word oak. 

An oak tree is known for its strength, endurance and beauty. The breadth and width of its branches and root system are stunning, and yet a newly sprouted oak tree doesn’t always get the chance to become what it was created to be.

It can live a tremendously small life as a bonsai tree. Its keeper simply contains its tender roots in a tiny pot and continuously trims back its growing branches. Once a year, the oak is taken out of its pot just long enough to have its roots cut back.

This tiny oak will never know the life it was created to live.

Friend, this is true for you as well, as long as you allow fear to be the keeper of your heart. God’s perfect love for you can crush the pot fear has put you in and free your roots to reach deeply into his healing waters. Only his love can grow you into the woman he created you to be. The longings of your heart will no longer be just out of reach. They will be completely satisfied. 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

“Therefore I will block her path with thornbushes. She will chase after her lovers but not catch them. Then she will say, ‘I will go back to my husband as at first, for then I was better off than now.’” Hosea 2:6-7

God’s love for us is fierce and relentless. He chases after us, longing to give us a life that is full of purpose, beauty and life-giving relationships. Unfortunately, in our humanness, we do not naturally love him with the same intensity. We spend many years doing life with God in the margins and us in the center.

The context of our focus verse today describes a woman who relentlessly chased after earthly things to satisfy the desires of her heart. In all her chasing, she forgot about the One who would fill her completely. You see, she had assigned God a room in the margins. She was doing just fine. She had everything under control. Life seemed pretty good.

So God blocked her path with thornbushes.

He knew she needed to turn back to him, but she continued on her self-redemptive path, desperately trying to stay in control of her relationships and destiny. She ran, but the way was so dark. Hope was out of reach. Joy was lost. Finally, feeling weary and worn, she remembered God. She stopped running. She stopped controlling. And she let God catch her.

He wrapped his arms around her and pullled her close. As she lingered in his embrace, his love quieted all her fears. Peace and hope entered her heart, and she felt at rest for the first time in years. She pressed herself deeper into his heart where she could hear his gentle whispers,

“I love you. I loved you even before you were born (Psalm 139). I chose you to be mine and have written a story for your life that is full of purpose, beauty and life-giving relationships (Jeremiah 29:11). But I need you to stop running. You were never meant to carry the burdens of life on your own. Give them to me. Let me heal your heart and restore you (Matthew 11:28). Will you trust me? I promise to be gentle. But know this, there is great power in my gentleness; therefore, I am able to do immeasurably more than all you can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20)!

Daughter, I know that once you step into your day, the demands of life might try to tear you back out of my arms, but I will never stop holding on to you. Never. Nothing can separate you from my love (Romans 8:39). So keep drawing near to me, my beloved child. I love you.”

Dear friend, your heavenly Father is chasing after your heart today. What parts of your heart are weary and worn from trying to handle on your own? Stop running and let him catch you. He is such a good Father.  Let him love on you today. 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

I love Easter and not just because the Easter bunny brings me chocolate! Easter reminds me that hope is not lost, that life can rise in dead places, that light can pierce the darkness, and that Jesus reigns victorious over sin. This week I want to share a devotional I wrote about disappointment, despair and loneliness. It is a message I need, and I pray it will touch your heart as well. Love you! 

Disappointment. Despair. Loneliness. Mary Magdalene wept as she stooped by the empty tomb where her beloved Jesus had been buried just three days before. Someone had taken his body away! At least that’s what she thought. Jesus, the man who treated her with dignity and worth; the one who freed her from tormenting demons; the one she called Lord…was gone. She had put her trust in him and believed he was her promised Savior. But now Jesus was dead. The tomb was empty. And so was Mary’s heart.

Empty. We feel it when someone we love is ripped from the fabric of our lives. Disappointment. We feel it when what we had hoped for crumbles beneath us. Despair. We feel it when our faith fails. Tears fall from our eyes and we don’t understand. This isn’t how things were supposed to end, we say. We wonder if joy will ever be ours again.

Hopelessness must have overwhelmed Mary as she wept by the empty tomb that day. But in her despair, Jesus showed up. “Dear woman, why are you crying?” he asked her. As soon as Mary recognized him, she cried out with joy and desperately clung to him. Can you imagine this reunion? In an instant, Mary’s heart must have once again been filled with hope. Jesus, her Lord and Savior, was fully alive! What appeared at first to be disappointment was in fact a circumstance that was wholly in God’s hands. Never once did God abandon her. Never once did God break his promise or change his plan. Jesus was hers forever.

Friend, if your circumstance feels hopeless or your heart is overwhelmed with disappointment and despair, cry out for Jesus. He will come to your rescue. Never will he leave you or forsake you. Your circumstance is wholly in his hands. It is never as it appears to be. Cling to Jesus and watch him fulfill every one of his promises for you. He is fully alive. Jesus is forever yours.

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go for to you I lift up my soul.” Psalm 143:8

One of my favorite hymns is It Is Well With My Soul, penned by Horatio Spafford. I’ve loved it from the time my little hands held a hymnal in the tiny country church where I first met Jesus. Recently, I heard the story behind the hymn and fell in love with it even more.

Mr. Spafford wrote the hymn out of personal tragedy. In 1873, Spafford and his family had planned a trip to Europe aboard the SS Ville du Havre. Just as they were preparing to leave, business concerns demanded that Spafford delay his trip. He didn’t want his wife and four daughters to also be delayed, so he sent them ahead while he stayed behind to deal with business. As they began their trek across the Atlantic, the ship collided with a sea vessel and sank rapidly. All four of Spafford’s daughters drowned. His wife, Anna, sent word back to her husband in a telegram saying, “Saved alone…”.

Mr. Spafford, stricken with grief, boarded a ship and went to be with his wife. As his ship passed near where his daughters had died, the words of the famous hymn cried out from his shattered heart.

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say

It is well, it is well, with my soul

I cannot imagine the emptiness of soul Mr. Spafford felt as he mourned the loss of his daughters. His wailing cries to God must have echoed off the ocean waters. And yet, as he laid himself before his Lord, something miraculous happened. Peace entered. Unfailing love washed over his parched soul. He demanded his heart to trust the One whose love for him was fierce, beautiful and unstoppable. As time passed on, I bet there were many days when Mr. Spafford cried out the prayer that is our focus verse today:

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.”

Mr. Spafford’s story inspires me. I want to be the kind of woman who, in spite of her circumstances, declares, “It is well with my soul.” Dear friend, is there a circumstance bringing you down today? Are you feeling an emptiness of soul? Do you believe that your Father’s love for you is so fierce, beautiful and unstoppable that he can drench your soul with peace and rest? He is waiting to do just that. Lay your cares and concerns at his feet. He will lift you up and show you the way. As you trust him, be ready to experience the love of your heavenly Father. There is nothing else like it. 

It Is Well With My Soul. (n.d.). In Wikipedia. Retrieved March 15, 2017, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_Is_Well_with_My_Soul

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31:25

Sometimes a girl just needs to go shopping. That time for me is now. It’s mid-March as I write this. We are getting the typical springtime snow here in Pennsylvania, and I am so tired of wearing my winter wardrobe. The scarves and sweaters that once felt great on me are now making me feel blah. Yes, I said blah.

Tomorrow I’m going shopping – with no kids! Hallelujah!

Don’t you just love the feeling of new clothes? Finding the perfect fit and style can make you feel like a new woman. You walk a little taller, smile a little bigger and when someone comments about how cute you look, it’s a serious confidence booster!

You know what else I love? That God talks about clothes in the Bible. Our focus verse for today takes us on a unique shopping trip.

We get to see a woman whose heart is adorned with strength and dignity. She is confident in who she is and Whose she is; therefore, she has no fear for her future.

Don’t you want that kind of heart?

God has been dressing my heart for many years. Most days my heart shines with strength and dignity, but there are days when I reject his clothes. Why would I do that, you ask?

Because a sin-stained garment felt better in the moment.

For example, I put on unforgiveness when my husband made me mad; fear when God told me to step out in faith; complaining when my kids were on my nerves. I put on pride when I wanted all the attention for myself and weakness when God called me to be bold. The sin-stained garment I choose most often is negative thinking about myself or my circumstances. It hangs on me like filthy rags.

Let me say again – sometimes a girl just needs to go shopping! Sin-stained garments feel great in the moment but quickly make us feel blah. We know this and yet we keep putting them on! Thank God for his grace and the beautiful clothes he offers us brand new every morning.

Strength. Dignity. Praise. Faith. Boldness. Forgiveness. Humility. Joy.

Oh what love the Father lavishes on us! Whatever sin-stained garment you’ve been wearing, take it off! Ask God to forgive you. If we confess our sins, he is faithful to forgive and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). Let him dress you with beauty. No matter how big your sin, no matter how much you’ve messed up, no matter what anyone else tells you, you have a Father who loves you so much that he sent his Son to die for your sins. Your new clothes have been paid for on the cross. Give yourself completely to him and get ready for a shopping spree! He loves you. 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

“I have chosen you and have not rejected you.” Isaiah 41:9

Remember gym class in middle school? If changing in the locker room with girls who had clearly reached puberty wasn’t humiliating enough, standing in a row waiting to be chosen by a team captain hit the mark. Unless, of course, you were one of those athletic girls. I was not.

One by one girls were picked from the line. Some giggled as they joined their bff; others high-fived resolving to crush the competition. I, however, remained in the line-up…waiting to be chosen. I shifted my slightly overweight body from side to side wishing I could transport myself to a different dimension. But I couldn’t and remained in the line-up until all but one or two stood beside me.

Rejected. Leftover. Loser.

Thank the good Lord gym class is not mandatory as an adult. But we don’t need gym class to feel like we have a giant L on our forehead, do we? All we need is a few minutes on social media to view the fabulous lives of people we hardly know or see pictures from a friend’s party we were NOT invited to. Attending a PTA social, or God forbid, a church function, with women who still behave like they’re in middle school can also do the trick. Maybe it’s your husband, child or other family member who picked up the marker and wrote an L on your forehead with their words or actions.

Dear friend, I wanted to share today’s focus verse with you because, if you’ll let it, the truths of it have the power to erase the L.

God has chosen you. He has not rejected you.

Read over those last two statements again – slowly. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Now think about this. Before you were born, God knew you completely. He fashioned your mind, body and soul uniquely with characteristics that reflected his own beauty and character. He made you the object of his perfect love, then he set you apart from all that was ordinary and wrote a one-of-a-kind story for your life that is extraordinary (Psalm 139). He chose you to be his.

And there’s another part to this that I don’t want you to miss. He chose you, not because you make the best double fudge cake in town (Although I would choose you for this! Wink.), not because your kids are well behaved or you can lead a Bible study at church. Nope. He chose you simply because he created you and wanted you to be his. And on those days when you screw up big time or your life feels like a hot mess, you can rest in knowing that God will never, ever reject you.

Friend, God has given you his whole self. Have you given your whole self to him? Where is fear holding you back? He stands at the door of your heart knocking. Will you let him in to heal you, encourage you and strengthen you today? 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

When the phone rings early on a Sunday morning with your child’s doctor on the other end of the line, it’s never a good thing. My then 6-year-old daughter had been in to see the doctor just a couple days earlier because of some health concerns. Blood had been drawn and this early morning call held the results.

“You need to take your daughter to the emergency room as soon as possible. Her body is killing red blood cells faster than she’s making them. We need to run some tests on her right away.”

My mind and senses went into overdrive as I woke my husband and started processing the phone conversation. I tried not to panic, but my desperate prayers revealed a heart that feared for my daughter’s life. I gathered my sleeping princess and a few items for the hospital. She had so many questions during our car ride. I tried to reassure her, but her questions and fears echoed my own.

Our trip to the emergency room turned into a four-day stay. Four days of tests, blood work and perplexed doctors. Four days of me sitting by her bedside singing, reading and praying. Four days of me begging God to heal her tiny body. I thank God for her healing that came a short time later.

I thank him, too, for allowing the human heart to love. A mother’s love is fierce, beautiful and unstoppable.

Whether you’ve had an ill child or simply lost your child in a public place for a few minutes, you’ve seen your fierce love in action. If you’ve cradled your child in your arms while singing lullabies, you’ve seen the beauty of your love. And if you’ve walked a hard road with your child, you’ve seen your unstoppable love.  

It’s hard to put a mother’s love into words. Sometimes I try using words to tell my kids how much I love them, but my kids best understand my love through experience.

This is true, too, of God’s love for us. Dear friend, God’s love for you is fierce, beautiful and unstoppable. He delights in you simply because you are his. Our focus verse uses words to convey his love, but God knows that you will best understand his love through experience. He has orchestrated ways for you to experience his love today. Right now, he’s with you, quieting you with his love. As your kids wake up and the craziness of your day begins, he is with you, delighting in you. When you fall into bed tonight, he is with you, singing over you. Will you look for him? Will you draw near to him? Will you talk with him? Ask him to open your spiritual ears, eyes and heart so you can experience his perfect love. 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Hi there, Chosen and Crowned tribe! 

I want to let you know I'll be the keynote speaker for a women's retreat, organized by Community United Methodist Church, on April 21-23 in Jumonville! The leaders want me to spread the word that this retreat is open to ALL women. I would love to see you there!

I've spent weeks praying, reading, studying and praying some more in preparation for our time together. I've asked God, the ultimate creator, to help me create a series of messages that will specifically encourage, challenge, and build the hearts of his daughters. 

You are in for a real treat! 

I am expecting God to show up and show up during our time together. I believe he has something he wants to speak to each woman who comes. 

Are you wanting an encounter with God?

Do you want to build relationships with friends?

Then you need to come! 

You can get all the details and register at communityumchurch.com

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, [her] friend can help [her] up. But pity the [mom] who falls and has no one to help [her] up!” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Feelings of loneliness and isolation seem to plague moms. A mom might report having many social media friends; however, she struggles to find that one woman with whom she can share her biggest obstacles and deepest hurts. Because there is not much depth to her relationships, she feels there is more comparison and competition going on, instead of compassion and community.   

This decrease in authentic friendships and increase in competition among women is dangerous to our callings as moms.

We were created for deep relationships. We function best in community. The first part of our focus verse today says that when you have a friend walking beside you on this mom journey, you will be more effective in your calling.

I had my babies before the explosion of social media. I didn’t even own a computer until my first born was three-years old! Internet was only available in dial-up and people owned cell phones just for emergencies. If I wanted friends, I had to get out of my house and take some risks in conversation with other women.

I had one really good mom friend when my kids were little. Amy and I met because our husbands played on the church softball team. We got to know each other through joining the same small group at church. We also hung out at each other’s homes, enjoyed meals together and scheduled occasional playdate outings. One of my favorite memories, though, is the countless phone conversations Amy and I had throughout the long daytime hours. Sometimes kids would be crying in the background, but we didn’t mind. We understood that the other one was having a hard day and needed to hear an adult voice.

Those phone conversations were a source of great support and encouragement for both of us and illustrates the last part of our focus verse. When I was down, Amy helped me up. When Amy was down, I helped her up. I often wonder how I would’ve made it through those early years if it hadn’t been for her sweet friendship. Our friendship has ebbed and flowed throughout the different seasons of motherhood. We may only talk once or twice a month now, but we remain dear to one another. We have each other’s backs no matter what.

True friendships are rare, but they are not impossible to find. I believe God has one good friend out there for each of us. If you long for a good friend, ask God to bring you one! Then step out and start taking risks. Don’t let the convenience of online friendships rob you of authentic friendships. There is another mom just waiting for your invitation for a coffee and chocolate date. Moms are stronger together!  

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

“And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5

Watching an elementary school play never fails to entertain its audience. The curtain opens presenting bright-eyed children whose smiles spread wide across their adorable faces. Proud parents and grandparents wave frantically hoping their child will wave back. The music begins and phones turn on to record and capture the performance.

If you’ve been to many of these plays, you know there is always one or two kids who love the spot light. They grab your attention with dramatic expressions and high energy. It’s hard to look away!

You know what else loves the spot light? Our thoughts.

I am guilty of giving my thoughts way too much stage time. There are other things on the stage of my day that want my attention – my kids, husband, house, work – but my thoughts take me captive making it difficult to focus on my blessings and priorities. For example, when the perfect storm of whining children, PMS and sleep deprivation takes center stage, I’m pretty much a lost cause. In dramatic form, I start thinking about how I’d like to sell my kids to the gypsies, how my cramps are all Eve’s fault because she just had to eat that apple. And my husband - Lord, help him.

Have you ever noticed how your thoughts lead to your words, actions and outlook on life?

Our focus verse today tells us that we are to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ. What does this mean? It means that when you’re really feeling down in your calling as a mom and you feel joy has slipped away backstage, check your thoughts. What thoughts are taking center stage? Are they negative or are they based on what the Bible says? Our thoughts affect our feelings, so if we’re not thinking about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy, then we are in danger of losing our joy as a mom (Philippians 4:8). The Bible says that the joy of the Lord is your strength (Nehemiah 8:10). So if you let go of your joy, you let go of your strength.

Sweet friend, God has given you everything you need to be a strong mom who enjoys her kids. If your thoughts, words and actions have been mostly negative, ask God to forgive you. Then ask him to transform you by helping you renew your mind (Romans 12:2). God loves a humble and repentant heart. He is faithful to forgive and transform. He wants to see you not just survive, but thrive in your high calling as mom. Spend some time in God’s word today so you can better know his thoughts. When you make his thoughts your thoughts, you’re well on your way to reclaiming your joy and strength! Go be awesome today!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

(Please excuse the spacing and formatting of this post. Not sure why it's getting messed up, but we are looking into correcting it. Thank you!) 

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

I had just devoured an entire piece of double fudge chocolate cake. It was only nine in the morning. Bedtime was still eleven hours away. I lost track of how many days in a row a sick or unhappy child had me up before the sun, and my morning cup of coffee just wasn’t doing it for me anymore. As I looked around my messy house and listened to my kids fighting in the other room, I sank into the kitchen chair and buried my face in my hands. I wasn’t sure I had what it took to do this mom thing. An older woman told me yesterday that if fighting and sick kids was the hardest thing I was facing, I should feel blessed. I wanted to tell her that being a mom wasn’t the hardest thing I was facing, but it was still hard, and what I really needed was not her insensitive comment but some solid encouragement to get me through my day.

Ever been there?

Our focus verse today comes from the book of Jeremiah. Jeremiah was appointed by God to be a great prophet to the nations, but when God placed that high calling on his life, Jeremiah struggled with self-doubt. He felt ill-equipped and even gave God some reasons why he was the wrong guy for the job.  

Jeremiah looked at his own limited abilities instead of looking at his limitless God.

God basically told him to stop making excuses and rise to the calling. God promised Jeremiah that his presence, power and provision would be with him. After that, God reached out and touched Jeremiah, equipping him and once again declaring the calling on his life.

Sweet friend, are you focusing on your own limited abilities instead of looking at your limitless God? Just like with Jeremiah, God knew you before he formed you in the womb. Before you were born he set you apart from all the other women in the world and appointed you as the mom to your children. He could’ve picked the woman down the street or the woman in your moms’ group or Bible study, but he didn’t. He chose you.  Not only did he choose you, but he equipped you and promised you his presence, power and provision. Stop wasting your thoughts on self-doubt and discouragement. Rise into the high calling God has put on your life. Whatever your day holds as a mom today, trust God. What you do day in and day out matters and does not go unnoticed by your heavenly Father. He loves you so much and is cheering you on every step of the way.  

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Moms can tell when a storm is brewing, so when the alarm sounds in the middle of the night, she is ready to take action.  

Yesterday afternoon, I sensed a storm was brewing.  My daughter stepped off the bus with her shoulders slumped and a face sad enough to soften the hardest heart.  Her head hurt; her tummy hurt and she crawled into bed as soon as she got in the house.  As I crawled into bed later last night, I knew the storm was close.

The alarm sounded for me early this morning -- the sound of my daughter throwing up.  If you are a mom, you too, are familiar with the alarm.  It wakes you from the deepest sleep, crying out with urgent sounds that demand you to come immediately.  By the way, why is it that husbands are deaf to this alarm?

I digress.

As the alarm quickly awakened all my senses, I climbed out of bed, threw my robe around my shoulders and ran to help my little girl. Her shoulders quaked and her tears fell easily onto my hands that held her. After cleaning her up, I made a cozy bed for her on the couch, snuggled her favorite stuffed animal under her arm and sat at her feet while holding an ice pack on her feverish back.  Soon enough, she dozed off to sleep.  I couldn't help but remain by her side and stare at her sweet face.  I thought to myself what amazing love a mother feels towards her child.  But my thought quickly drifted to another:

What amazing love our heavenly Father feels for us, his children.

He knows when a storm is brewing in your life long before it rocks your world. When your cry reaches his heart in the middle of the night, he hears and rushes with urgency to your side.  The Bible says he never slumbers nor sleeps. Instead he watches over you, never removing you from his loving gaze. He is your ever-present help in time of trouble.  

I wonder if you are facing a storm right now that, like my daughter, makes your shoulders quake and tears fall from your eyes?  Have you cried out to your heavenly Father?  He longs to rush to your rescue, comfort you and catch your tears in his hands.  He will caress your sweet face and cause you to sleep in peace. As he comforts you, he will think to himself, "Oh, how I love her."

Friend, you can trust him with the storm and the pain it's causing your heart. He is so gentle and will restore you to fullness of joy.  

It's still the middle of the night as I write this.  My daughter lifts her weary head off her pillow and looks my way, "Don't go anywhere, Mama.  Stay close to me."

"I'm right her, my sweet girl.  I'm right here.  Now close your eyes and rest."

Sweet friend, hear God whisper those words to your heart right now. Whatever storm you're facing, do not fear.  Your Father is with you right this moment.  Do not be dismayed, for your Father is God. He will strengthen you and help you.  He will uphold you with his righteous right hand (Is. 41:10).  He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deut. 31:6).

Love you, friend, but Jesus loves you more.

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

I wonder how many of us are standing at the edge of something new and wonderful God wants to do in our life, but fear is keeping us from fully entering in to it?

The Bible is filled with stories about a people group called the Israelites. They were God’s chosen people. Through a series of jaw-dropping, glory-filled circumstances, God delivered them out of slavery so that he might bring them into abundant life. But the journey to that abundant life required a trip through the desert. It would’ve been nice if God had just given them the new land, don’t you think? Why couldn’t he have tucked their labor-weary bodies into bed one night, and then handed them a get-out-of-jail free card in the morning, along with an instant access card to the promised land? Hadn’t they already been through enough?

God had a higher and greater plan for his chosen people that could only be accomplished through the trial-filled steps through the desert. He knew that for his people to really be set free, they would have to learn to trust him and surrender their way for his way. Because the Israelites had to go through the desert, they experienced God’s miracles, provision and comfort. For those who weren’t overcome by sin and bitterness, they were overcome instead, by a deeper relationship with God. Their relationship with God is what sustained them and strengthened them throughout the rest of their lives. They came to see that God’s plans were to prosper them, not to harm them; plans to give them hope and a bright future (Jeremiah 29:11).

The story of the Israelites is there for us to use as a parallel to God’s plan for us, his Chosen and Crowned daughters.

Each one of us enters this world enslaved to sin. We are born with a sin nature. It drives our selfishness and leads us to do things that seem good and right in the moment, but ultimately leads to pain, fear, hopelessness, discouragement, loneliness, and anger. The list could go on. We wake up one day and wonder how we got ourselves into such a mess.

The beautiful thing is that God is not repulsed by our mess. Quite the contrary. God desperately wants you to give him your mess so he can set you free from it. Did you know that from the moment you were born, God hasn’t stopped pursuing your heart and drawing you to himself with everlasting love and kindness? He knows that sin has taken its toll on your heart, mind and soul, and he longs to build you up again into the woman he first created you to be. This is good news! We do not have to stay in our mess. We can be free and watch God restore us from the inside out (Jeremiah 31:3-4).

Oh friend, take pause on this truth! God promises to rebuild you and lead you into a new land filled with prosperity, hope and a bright future!

But, be warned. Your journey to abundant life will require much of you. It will require that you throw yourself at the feet of Jesus, because without him, you will never see your promised land. You’re going to have to trust him every step of the way.

But know this too, God does not want you in the desert forever. The Israelites spent 40 years in the desert when the journey should have taken only 11 days! How many of us wander again and again around the mountain of toxic thoughts, relationships, and choices because they are familiar and comfortable? Dear friend, you may be standing today just on the other side of your promised land, but fear is keeping you from taking the steps God has clearly commanded you to take. This is called a crisis of faith. You must decide for yourself if you are going to trust God or not. Will you obey or not?

If fear is keeping you in the desert, hear God’s words to the Israelite leader, Joshua, who desperately needed encouraged as he stood at the trial-filled border of the promised land, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9). Joshua faced a crisis of faith. For him to take the risk, he had to recall God’s faithfulness to him in the desert and trust that his God was still a God of miracles, provision and comfort.

Friend, as you boldly take that next scary step, you too will experience God’s continued faithfulness to you. He will not let you be destroyed. Remember, his plan is to rebuild you and give you a bright future.May this new year be the year you get out of the desert and enter your promised land. By the way, I look forward to being a part of your journey! Let me know how I can be praying for you. Love you, my Chosen and Crowned friend. 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Merry Christmas from my family to yours!

I'm so thankful for each of you who are a part of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Thank you to those of you who took the time in this past year to let me know specifically what touched your heart. It is beautiful to see how Jesus has pursued you and drawn you closer to himself. It is because he came that we can truly live loved and free. For this reason we have so much to celebrate this Christmas, don't we?! We can never be outside the perfect love of Christ.

I pray your time with friends and family over the next couple weeks will be filled with sweet moments.

See you in the new year!

God has allowed me to see much suffering this Christmas season. Broken marriages. Kids caught in the crossfire. Addiction. Abuse. Loss. Young children who watch their terminally ill mommy fight to spend one more Christmas morning with them.

Sadness at Christmastime creates a tension that assaults our senses. Merry sounds of music, images of smiling families, tastes of homemade cookies, and smells of cinnamon fill the atmosphere, but the fog of our hurt lays heavy, making it hard to fully enjoy the season.

Last night, my three kids and I snuggled close on the couch for the day’s advent reading. The scripture we read in Isaiah prophesied about the One, the Christ-child, whose birth we will celebrate in just over a week from now. It gave us a different image of this baby we had just nestled into the manger of our nativity set.

“There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him. He was despised and rejected – a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. He was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the sins of us all (Isaiah 53: 2-6).”

Does this scripture assault your cinnamon-sprinkled, merry music-filled senses? It does mine! But here is the beauty in the tension…

Because Jesus came and suffered, we have a Savior who is acquainted with our sorrow and offers us great hope.

Think about this…

Jesus, just nine months before, sat enthroned beside God the Father and reigned from heaven with all authority, power and glory. Then, because of his perfect love for us, took off his royal crown and became a helpless human baby. Jesus grew up feeling the loneliness of rejection, the sting of hatred, the void of loss, and the agony of suffering.

He left heaven and brought rescue to you.

He went to the cross and brought life to you.

He overcame the grave and brought hope to you.

Right now, in this very moment, he is pursuing you so he can carry you. Dear friend, you were never meant to bear the burden alone. I urge you to make your way through the fog and come to the manger. There you will find a Savior who understands what you’re going through and who loves you so much that he gave up everything to become your everything. Let the angel who declared Christ’s birth two thousand years ago declare it fresh to your heart today,

“Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord” (Luke 2: 10-11).  

Merry Christmas!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

I recently watched an interview with author, Carol Burton McLeod, who threw out the term “defiant joy”. She said that as Christ-followers, we have available to us a kind of joy that defies our circumstances. Defiant. What an interesting word to put in front of joy. After all, if I’m defiant, then I’m resistant, obstinate and uncooperative. Those aren’t very flattering words to describe my character…unless! Unless it describes my undaunted resolve to remain joyful in the midst of heart-crushing, cry-in-a-dark-corner circumstances. 

Defiant joy.

As we head into the holiday season, let’s grab hold of this concept with a white-knuckled grip and refuse to let go until it invades every cell of our being. I wonder if you find yourself today in the middle of a cry-in-a-dark-corner circumstance. I want you to know that I’ve been in that place too. That place that feels so hopeless tears won’t stop running. That place where God’s presence can’t be felt to comfort a weary heart. That place that threatens to paralyze and render helpless a mighty servant of God.

Defiant joy.

It’s there with you in that dark corner. What you must understand is that your enemy, the devil, wants to steal it. He knows that joy is your strength. If he can convince you to give it up, he can weaken you. How bruised and beat up he leaves you depends on how long you choose to remain in your dark thoughts. That’s why you must resist him. How do you resist?

Defiant joy.

Your job is to stomp your feet on the ground of your circumstance and become uncooperative with any thought telling you to give in to hopelessness, bitterness, and loneliness. Next, you open your mouth and begin praising and thanking God with whatever words you can utter. I like to put on worship music to help me form my words. The Bible tells us that God makes himself at home in our praises (Psalm 22:3). When you begin to praise, the Light of the world enters into your dark corner. Defiant joy chooses to ramp up praise and thanksgiving, being absolute certain that God is at work to make beauty rise from the ashes of your circumstance.

Christians are not “Mary Poppins with a Bible”, as Ms. McLeod said. “We are people who live in the trenches of life and come out with the gift of joy.” She gives this encouragement, “If you have led a circumstantially unhappy life, you are not immune to joy. You are actually a great candidate for joy because joy is regardless of your circumstances.”

Joy is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). So as you and I are faithful to study God’s Word and walk according to it, we can have confidence, knowing that joy will abound from our weary limbs. The joy of the Lord is your strength, Chosen and Crowned friend (Nehemiah 8:10! Defy your circumstance today with defiant joy!

Happy, Defiantly Joyful Thanksgiving!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

I’m writing to you today because of the deep hurt that is being felt among us in the aftermath of the recent election. Sadly, much of that hurt is coming from us slandering each other and stripping each other of dignity and respect. This should not be! We are God’s people and are to represent him even in conflict with one another. Have we forgotten how to resolve conflict in a healthy, mature, and loving way? Have we forgotten that it is okay for Christians to not see eye to eye on every issue?

It is okay to debate. It is even okay to have a heated debate. But it is never okay to slander one another. If a friend of yours or someone you admire for their relationship with Jesus voted differently than you and caused you to feel disappointed and hurt, reach out to them privately and have a conversation. Work to get a better understanding of why they voted for the candidate who disgusted you and concerned you for the future of this country. Don’t assume that your friend who voted for Trump is a racist and uneducated. Don’t assume that your friend who voted for Clinton is a baby killer and liar. Those assumptions hurt deeply.

I have had the privilege of hearing the hearts of some of my Christian friends who voted differently than me. Their beliefs, passions, and concerns are deeply felt, valid…and are to be respected. They firmly believed that Clinton represented the platform that offered the most hope in addressing the passions of their heart. They do not need to “move on” or “get over it” now that the election is over. Asking them to do that is the same as asking them to stop feeling and to stop caring about the things that matter most to them. They are allowed to protest peacefully and not have their salvation be questioned. They are allowed to hurt and grieve and be concerned for the future of their loved ones. As their fellow brothers and sisters, we should be strengthening and encouraging them, not kicking them to the ground with our words.

Likewise, those in our family who voted for Trump did so because we believe he represents the platform that offers the most hope in addressing the passions of our hearts. Our beliefs, passions, and concerns are deeply felt, valid…and are to be respected. We should not have our salvation questioned or be accused of agreeing with the things Trump has said or done that do not represent Christ well.

Both candidates are deeply flawed people. Compared to God, we are all deeply flawed people. It is time we humble ourselves. God says to us, “if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land (2 Chronicles 7:14). 

Brothers and sisters in Christ, now more than ever, we need to humble ourselves, repent, have each other’s backs, and pray. Stop the slander! Our enemy, the devil, is so satisfied with the division he’s seeing among us. He knows that if we keep tearing each other down, we will be too weak, too hurt, too angry and too bitter to accomplish anything for God’s kingdom.

Let’s remember that no matter who is king of the United States, Jesus is King of the world. When we can’t agree about the things of this earth, let’s continue to agree in the Lord. The apostle Paul writes, “As a prisoner in the Lord, then, I urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling you have received: with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, and with diligence to preserve the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:2). Also, “get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and tender-hearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

I beg of you, please stop the slander and division. If you have sinned against a brother or sister, please ask them today for their forgiveness so we can begin to heal. We are the people of God and we have work to do. 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Did you know that only about 1 out of 4 women vote? I used to be in that 75% who stayed home on election day. Why? I was a mom of three small children, and frankly, I was more focused on making it to the end of the day with my sanity intact and my kids in one piece than I was on researching the candidates and their political platforms.

But this election I can’t afford to stay home, and if you’re a Christian mom, neither can you.

There is too much at stake. You and I need to know what God has to say on the issues and yield ourselves to his authority. So often we expect God to yield to our changing culture, but the Bible clearly says that God is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). His word does not change. Christian mom, we have an obligation to engage in politics and uphold the authority of God over our nation. Blessing will come from honoring him above ourselves. Judgement will come if we get that backwards.

So what do we do with these two less-than-ideal candidates that stand before us? They both disgust me. Neither of them is a role model for my children. Should I vote for a third party or write someone in? No, that doesn’t seem like a wise decision. So what do I do? Well, I look to where they stand on key issues and to the political platform each represents. Our next president will likely appoint up to four judges to the Supreme Court which will change the landscape of the present court. The Supreme Court is primed for a strong shift in either the conservative or liberal direction, says Brookings research director Benjamin Wittes.

Which candidate and platform best aligns with God’s unchanging standards? Which best protects life from conception to natural death? Which one upholds God’s definition of marriage which is the union of one man and one woman? Which fights for the protection of Israel and for our freedom to live as Christians at home, at work and in the community? These are the key issues.

But what about healthcare, jobs and the economy, you ask?

Jesus says, “Do not worry…for the pagans pursue all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:31-33). If we want to see the kingdom of God on this earth, we must vote for kingdom laws and principles. Jesus promised that if we seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, God will see to it that everything else we need will be given to us.

Christian mom, let your voice be heard. You have the opportunity to affect great change for our country. Be informed. Pray for God’s wisdom to direct your vote. Then go out and vote knowing that whatever the outcome, God is still ultimately the one in power. This election won’t knock him off his throne or tie his hands together. We need not fear if our candidate doesn’t win, and we cannot think the battle has been won if our candidate comes out victorious. We, the church of Jesus Christ, must keep running the great race of faith until Jesus returns or God calls us home. Press on, Chosen and Crowned child of God, and take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of you (Philippians 3:12).

For an uneditorialized political platform comparison, check out this link: ingodwetrust.tv/ctvn. You’ll see a button for it in the middle of the page. 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Life. I’m so frustrated with it right now. There is this big, freakin’ detour sign blocking the road in front of me and another telling me the road ahead is closed. What?! I have places to go and people to see! And. This. Detour. Is. Not. In. My. Plan. I feel myself gripping the steering wheel with white knuckled fingers. I know I have no choice but to take the detour if I ever hope to reach my final destination, but I HATE detours. They always make me late. Often, they take me on windy roads that twist and turn through unknown territory. If the detour is not marked well, I usually get lost. And if all that is not bad enough, life detours make me use words like “freakin’” which kind of feels like swearing to this Jesus-loving girl.

Ever feel like God put a big, freakin’ detour sign smack dab in the middle of the road he paved for you? Like really, God, what’s up with this? Detours have an annoying way of reminding us who is really in the driver’s seat of life. God gives us control, but it is limited control. He has glorious, and sometimes unnervingly difficult, things he wants to show us and teach us that we’ll never experience if we don’t go with him on the detour. Let’s slide on over to the passenger’s seat and humble ourselves, shall we?

God is the map designer of your journey. He created the beginning, ending and every mile in between. You can be sure of this, dear one, if God inserted a detour sign, it’s for a good reason and he can be trusted with it. This bumpy, curvy, unfamiliar road is only temporary. Soon, the main road will be open again and life will return to normal. It will be a new normal, but it will be good. Your joy will return because the Driver will lift up your sweet head so you can see his goodness all around you. Most likely, you’ll look at life a little differently that you did before, because when you ride with the Master and listen to his words along the way, it’s impossible not to leave a changed woman.

Second Corinthians 4:16-18 encourages us, “Do not lose heart. Our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Be certain of this, God won’t let your time on that detour go to waste if it’s surrendered to him. The hours, days, months and years, though sometimes long and painful, are achieving something in you of eternal value. So do not lost heart. Be certain of this, “that in all things God works for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28). Ask God to help you be okay with this detour he has you on. Don’t miss your opportunity to spend this time learning from him and leaning on him.

Remember, too, that the driver is responsible for getting you to your final destination. And, friend, trust me…he will. I know how hard it is not to drive from the passenger’s seat. I like to be in control too. But along my life’s journey, I’ve learned that when I can surrender every detail into the loving hands of my Driver, I can rest and trust the journey. Peace overcomes my worry and anxiety. I close my eyes, lean my head back against the seat, and hear him say,

Along life’s journey, you will have many troubles, but don’t be afraid. I am with you always. I will hold your hand and deliver you from them all. For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future. (John 16:33, Genesis 26:24, Jeramiah 29:11)

Today’s post is a journal entry I wrote about ten years ago at the end of a day when I wanted to play hide-n-seek with my kids and NEVER be found. The struggle is real, my friend! Enjoy the laugh and know that you’re not alone! What you do day in and day out is a mighty and holy calling.

Today would’ve been one of those perfect days if everything about it hadn’t been so completely imperfect.

It was a day when the kids fought more than they got along. A day when a defiant “NO” was the standard answer every time I asked my 3-year-old son to do something. It was a day of my 15-month-old daughter throwing herself to the floor in a fit more often than her typical day. Along with all of this, both kids are sick, laundry is piled in towers that resemble a small city, and the underwear my son needs to cover his naked self is buried somewhere in the rubble. The carpets have remnants of crackers eaten last week. The bathrooms are growing mold; and I think I heard the furniture cough from being so dusty. Oh, and we’re out of toilet paper and fruit. And there is a growing bee’s nest out back right where the kids play. So this means we are off to Wal Mart on this fine, FINE day to get toilet paper, fruit, bee killer and a few other necessities.

All is well until my daughter has to sit in a cart for more than five minutes.

Before I know it, she’s standing up on the seat facing backwards. Aside from all the disapproving looks from other shoppers, my daughter’s defiance to sit safely in the cart actually worked well. You see, she was also making this obnoxiously loud noise that worked like a horn that blared, “WE’RE COMING THROUGH, SO GET OUT OF OUR WAY!”

Shoppers parted like the Red Sea.

This made things go a little faster, but only for a moment. The waves crashed down hard on me when she decided she wanted out of the cart to walk…no…run…no…pull every item off the bottom shelves. So into my arms she goes in my feeble attempt to control my little princess. Ha! She laughs at my parental authority, arching her back over my arm so that every vertebrate in her spine cracks. She is now hanging upside down over my arm. Then comes the wailing, red face and more disappointed looks from old women in the store who apparently forget what it’s like to shop with two little ones. I was never so tempted to just leave my cart and make a run for the door. But I stayed the course with my screaming princess in one hand and the mega-sized, “kid-friendly” cart in the other. After paying for the groceries and grabbing a free lollipop for my son on the way out, we finally made it to the car.

Dinner was next on my day’s list of duties.

It actually went pretty well, except that my children had sucked any desire to eat from my system. After my family was done, I put my very tired little girl to bed and my husband took my son outside. I came downstairs to clean up the kitchen only to break down in tears.

“What a day, Lord!” I cried. “I love my kids more than life itself, but today I wanted to strangle them. Does that make me a terrible mommy? I feel like today, Mommy is a punching bag. Why do kids have to be so rotten and selfish sometimes? Can’t they give just a little back to show me they love me too?!”

Just then, my prayer was interrupted by my son’s voice calling me from outside. I was tempted to pretend I didn’t hear him, turn off all the lights and stay very still. But I didn’t, and instead walked to the door to see what he needed. “I can’t find any flowers,” he said sadly looking at the ground. “I wanted to pick you some flowers, Mommy, but I can’t find any.” He kept looking as he talked, “Oh, there’s one!”

He ran across the yard and plucked the little weed from the ground. Running back, he held it up for me. “This is for you, Mommy. I love you.” I fought back tears as I took the flower from his tiny hand. I knew in that moment that not only was my son expressing his love for me, but God was too. He saw every hard thing that happened in my day, and even though I hadn’t noticed his presence, he was with me and was strengthening. This mom job is no easy task. If you’re having “one of those days” today, be encouraged that God is with you and is strengthening you for the good work of motherhood. The Bible gives us hope saying, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9). 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Somebody needs to hear today that pain and joy can coexist. In fact, when these two become traveling companions, they create something mysteriously new and beautiful in us.

From the time I was a child until now, God has allowed increasingly large mountains to erupt through the landscape of my life. Now I’m not one to go out looking for pain, but I have grown to appreciate trials for one reason. Trials are my training ground. The rugged terrain forces me to flex my muscles of faith, rest on the promises of God and then flex again. This God-ordained training program has sculpted me into a stronger, more effective servant of God.  

What mountain are you facing today? Don’t be afraid of it. Let your eyes gaze at its peak and believe that the view from the top will be breath-taking. Now fix your thoughts, not on the darkness that’s in front of you, but on Jesus, whose love for you cannot be fathomed. Whatever lies ahead, he’s got you. He put his Holy Spirit inside of you to strengthen you.

Romans 8:26-28 in The Message says that “the moment we get tired, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”

As you and I face trials, I believe God is calling us to first know his promises and then dare to live our lives like God’s servant, Abraham, who was “fully convinced that God had the power to do what he had promised” (Romans 4:20). Abraham did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God. I love this because if Abraham -- whose heart, mind and soul were wrapped in weak human flesh -- could face his trials with strength and joy, you and I can too. 

My fellow sojourner, you need not fear what’s in front of you today or what lurks in the shadows of tomorrow, for your God is always with you. Always. He goes before you and covers the rugged path with his grace and love. He is your rear guard and a constant shield around you. Your faith is strong. Your heart is bold. Your mind is wise and your spirit is well within you. You are more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ who loves you. Praise God who did not spare even his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give you all things? God has given you everything you need, in Christ, to conquer that mountain in front of you. Rise up, Chosen and Crowned daughter of God. Let the joy of the Lord be your strength.

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

No one told me that when I grew up life would try to dim my light and dull my sense of wonder. No one told me that, although the messiness and beauty of motherhood would make my world palpable with wonder, I would have to sometimes fight to engage it.

Wonder over the miracle of my newborn baby would fade into an exhaustion fog. Delight over his first steps would disappear into anxious thoughts about his safety. Then there was the issue of losing the wonder of me. What happened to the woman beneath the spit up and stretch marks?

Wonder seems like an abstract concept, doesn’t it? It feels intangible to us, yet as moms, wonder begs us to engage. Tragically though, the overwhelming-ness, sameness and busyness of our daily routines can numb us, make us bored, and ultimately dim our light.

But what if we took back our right to fully engage? What if we dared to see, taste, hear, smell and touch the wonder that is all around us? I bet we’d be surprised to find that those wonder-full things we thought were gone forever – laughter, rest, relationships, beauty -- were not really gone at all.

In my thirteen years as a mom, there have been times I let wonder elude me, but it never stopped calling me to chase after it. And so I did. In my pursuit to engage and rediscover the wonder in my world, I’d like to challenge you -- no, I’d like to dare you -- to try at least one of the following five ways to find wonder in the monotony of motherhood.

1.       Slow down. At the risk of sounding like that old bitty who mouths these words to you as you speed past her house because you’re late for preschool drop off, I beg this of you. One of the biggest myths we believe as moms is that we can do it all and be it all. The truth is, though, the insanity of trying to be super woman is destroying our ability to behold the precious moments and people that are right in front of us. So how do we slow down when life feels so chaotic? Readjust priorities. Say no to what is good so you can say yes to what is best. Sometimes, just slowing down long enough to focus on your breathing will help you engage with wonder even in the midst of the chaos.

2.       2.  Do something scary. You and I were made to take risks and believe for things we can’t yet see. We were given gifts and talents that could dramatically impact the people around us, but our fears and insecurities keep us living small, tired and bored lives. What makes your heart beat a little faster? What makes you come alive? Maybe it’s starting that blog you’ve always wanted to start. Maybe it’s stepping into a leadership role or taking a class online. Maybe it’s planting a garden or letting your preschooler use paint and glitter at the same time. Whatever it is, throw yourself into it with wild abandon, and you will find that where the unfamiliar and the unexpected reside, so does beauty, life and sweet surprise.  

3.       3.  Connect with God. When I got married and had kids, I felt for the first time, the enormous weight and responsibility of being a grown up. This weight pressed me to connect on a deeper level with God. I knew I needed his help, so I began praying more and studying the Bible with other women. What I found was that the more I searched for him, the more I found of him. Getting to know God has brought more wonder into my life than anything else. God is mysterious, full of wonder and unsearchable; yet he is personal, full of love and waiting to be found by you. So talk to him. Ask a friend who has a deep connection with him how she found that connection. Read your Bible and ask God to show you the wonder of himself.

4.       4.  Connect with others. You were made for relationships, so when your life is deprived of deep connection with others, your soul will darken. For those of you who are too busy or too introverted, connecting with others is most likely at the bottom of your to-do list, but motherhood was never meant to be done alone. So go ahead and call up that mom you’ve been wanting to get to know better? Share a cup of coffee together. Get to know her story and make sure to share some of yours. Friendships are a gift of wonder waiting to be unwrapped.

5.     5.    Do a random act of kindness. When life is hard or lonely, our ability to engage with wonder feels almost impossible. I’ve found, though, that if I consciously redirect my negative thoughts onto how I can be a blessing to others, my mood can totally be transformed. Simply sending a hand-written note, baking cookies for a neighbor, or smiling at a stranger can be the one little thing in your day that puts wonder back into plain sight.

So what are you waiting for, dear friend? I dare you to engage today. 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Teaching Our Kids The Power of Forgiveness

When your child is hurt by someone - a sibling, parent, another child or adult – how do you teach your child to respond if and when that person apologizes? Do you tell them to say “that’s ok” or “I forgive you”? I’ve learned there is a huge difference. Sometimes we teach them to respond with “thank you”, but if we don’t follow up with the need to forgive, we put our child’s heart in jeopardy.

I was eaves dropping on my daughters one afternoon as they were working to resolve a conflict that happened earlier in the day. My oldest daughter, on her own, decided that she needed to apologize to her younger sister for hurting her. Hallelujah; praise Jesus.  Anyway, my youngest daughter sort of just stared at the floor and responded with a quiet, “That’s okay.”

Needless to say, I stopped singing my hallelujahs when I realized that I had not taught my daughter the best way to respond. What her older sister did to her was not okay! Teaching her to instead say, “I forgive you” would have been the best and most powerful response because it would’ve ushered healing to her heart and restoration to their relationship. But teaching forgiveness as a response leads us, as moms, to answer some difficult questions like: What is forgiveness? What is it not? Is forgiveness always possible?

I went in search of the answers to these questions. I am still learning, but what I found has helped me be a better teacher to my kids on the subject of forgiveness and has benefitted me personally as I navigate the offenses in my own life. Author and pastor, R.T. Kendall says in his book Total Forgiveness, “If we remain less-than-expert forgivers, we cripple ourselves in every area of life.”

I learned, first, that if we wait until we feel like forgiving, we will most likely never forgive. Forgiveness is a choice, an act of the will. Imagine if you just sat on the couch waiting to feel like exercising. Do you think you’ll ever feel like it? Not likely! And if you never get around to exercising, will you ever feel or see the benefits you would have received if you had just forced yourself to exercise? Nope! This is true for forgiveness as well. The benefits and feelings we are looking for will eventually follow, but we must first choose to forgive.

Here’s another word picture that your kids might enjoy. When my heart is hurt or offended, I see a prison door with thick bars slamming shut, taking captive Joy, Peace and Strength. Joy’s got her pudgy little face pressed up against the bars; her bright eyes watch me pace back and forth as I stew over the hurt. Peace quietly sits on the floor waiting patiently for me to respond. And Strength leans up against the wall, feeling kind of annoyed, and waits to be used to his fullest capacity.

Tell your kids that when they make the hard choice to forgive, they are at that moment, picking up the key that will unlock that prison door. They are setting free Joy, Peace and Strength to do what they do best. Forgiveness is not for the other person. It is for themselves.

Forgiveness is not saying that what the other person did is okay. It is not excusing it, justifying it, denying it or pardoning it. It is not forgetting it or pretending we are not hurt.

Forgiveness is acknowledging the hurt, but choosing to put the person in God’s hands to deal with, instead of trying to control the person with revenge, mean words, or gossip. Forgiveness chooses not to replay the offense over and over again. It’s a choice to choose love and good will towards the offender, instead of bitterness and hate. Obviously, if the offender is one of your other children, you partner with God in “dealing” with your child’s heart.

As moms, we get to shape the future of our culture by the way we shape our child’s heart. Let’s teach and model the shape of forgiveness. “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (Colossians 3:13).

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Turning Our Mama Worries Into Powerful Prayers

I almost cried this morning over all the dirty fingerprints that covered the window of my front door, but not for the reason you might think. I had just arrived back home from putting my kids on three different buses for their first day of school. So for me, the fingerprints represented sweet memories from the summer that had just ended.  It’s a little sappy even for me, I know. Don’t judge me. But if you’re like me, sending your kids back to school can be like throwing confetti on a rainy day. Excitement explodes into the air with the frenzy of gathering new outfits, school supplies, and friends at the bus stop. We share small talk and ask why summer always seems to go by so quickly.  We take pictures and gleefully post them on social media. Some of us moms may even do a cart wheel. But if we’re not careful, our care-free thoughts can become raindrops of worry or sadness, causing our confetti to quickly fall to the ground.

Will my daughter be okay even though her best friend is in the other homeroom? Will she get caught in the middle of girl drama? Will my son struggle in his studies? Will he be strong enough to stand against middle school temptations? Will they get made fun of at lunch? And what about school shootings? Is my child safe? 

There is no shortage of things for us moms to worry about, that’s for sure. But did you ever think about the fact that worrying is a choice we make? And the great thing about choices is that we have power over them! So what if, every time a worrisome thought entered our heads, we chose instead to pray? The Bible instructs us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6).

When raindrops of worry threaten to fall on your confetti, put up your umbrella of prayer and pray for your kids! Your prayers for your kids are more powerful and effective than you realize. A good place to start is by praying that God would guard their hearts. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Your child’s heart needs your prayers, not your worries. Your worries have zero power to help them, but your prayers have unlimited potential to benefit them in every way – in their friendships, their strength to resist temptation, their character, their choices, their responses, their health and safety, their eternal security.

Everything they do flows from their heart. Everything.

Your child’s heart is so precious to God. He cares deeply about every detail of your child’s life. So as you pray, don’t forget to thank God for his goodness and faithfulness to your children. And then get ready! Because the peace of God which surpasses our human understanding will flood your heart, washing away your worries, and giving you reason once again to throw your confetti!

Here is a sample scripture prayer that you can pray over your child and yourself today. Simply insert your child’s name as you read through it:

God, thank you that you are with ______ every minute of every day, and because of that, both _______ and I have no need to fear or be discouraged (Is. 41:10). I ask that you be a shield around ______ and lift his head high (Ps. 3:3.) Protect him; guide him, strengthen him; help him.

Your Word says that no one can come to you unless you draw them (Jn. 6:44). So today, draw ______’s heart to yourself as he wakes from his sleep, as he goes about his school day and activities, and as he sleeps again tonight. Give him eyes to see you and ears to hear you. Keep working and fertilizing the soil of his heart with your Word, so he will bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control (Matt. 13:16-23, Gal. 5:22-23).

God, you are the Creator of _______’s heart and I hold onto the promise that you will fulfill your purpose for _______, that your love endures forever, and that you will never abandon the works of your hands (Ps. 138:8). Fill _______ with the knowledge of your will and let him grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ (Eph. 3:18). I pray that _______ will put his trust in you and never be shaken (Ps. 125:1).

And God, help me to be the mom you called me to be. Give me the wisdom, knowledge and understanding I need to train up this precious child in the way he should go so that when he is old, he will not turn away from it (Prov. 22:6). Thank you that you are with me, helping me every step of the way. Pour out your grace on me today for your grace is sufficient for me. Your power is made perfect through my weakness (2 Corin. 12:9). Be glorified in me today. In Jesus’ powerful name I pray. Amen. 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Have you ever lived through a season in your life that was dark and wearisome? Have you ever found yourself longing for relief and asking, “How long, Lord?” Maybe you’re in one of those seasons right now.

One of my favorite people in the Bible is a man named David. He was a shepherd boy turned king. God called him a man after His own heart. But David struggled through many dark and wearisome seasons in life.

During one such season, he complained, “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?” (Psalm 13:1-2).

David’s difficult season of life had tarried too long and he was so over it! His heart was burdened with sorrow and he prayed earnestly for relief.

It is normal for any human, when trouble lasts a long while, to think that it will last always. When we have long been without joy and hope, it’s easy to fall into complaining, but what we must do is fall into prayer.

This is what David did and he experienced a shift in perspective, “But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me” (Psalm 13:5-6).

As David fell on his knees and brought his complaints and burdens before the throne of mercy, God helped him believe again. He strengthened David’s faith and reminded him of his goodness.

Though life still felt hard and looked dark for David, he rose from his knees with confidence, knowing that a new season would surely come.

Dear friend, if you can bring your big problems to the feet of Jesus and leave them there, he will lift up your weary head to see that he is bigger. He will help you climb from your pit of despair back to solid ground where confidence and joy abound. God is faithful to carry you through every difficult season. Sometimes relief will come quickly, other times slowly. But a new season of life will surely come. We will find that our complaints were unnecessary, and we will acknowledge that the Lord, indeed, has been good to us. Praise him today!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

(Repost from January 2016) 

An interesting thing happened to me last week…

I was blindsided with envy over another woman’s success.

She had gifts and talents similar to mine. She had a calling similar to mine. Similar in so many ways, yet her success set her vastly apart in the arena where I so desperately wanted to shine. I silently resented her, yet longed to be her. I dug my toes into the sands of self-pity and thought about jumping into the ocean of women who had given up on a dream. I allowed myself to stare at that ocean for a little while. I watched as the women were tossed and thrown about by the waves of life. Sometimes those waves knocked them into each other, causing them to shout bitter and hurtful words to one another. Another wave pulled a woman under. She resurfaced gasping for air. None of the other women seemed to notice. They were too focused on themselves. I slowly backed away and could hear Someone calling me by name. He called me to pull my toes out of the shifting sands. He drew my eyes away from the drowning waves. And he invited me to stand up on the Rock.

He turned my ear to hear his voice.

“You, O Daughter, whom I have chosen. I took you from the ends of the earth; from its farthest corners I called you. I created you for my glory. I formed you with my own hands. I said, ‘You are my servant.’ I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear; do not be dismayed, for I am your God” (Isaiah 41:8-10a; 43:7).

He reminded me who I am and Whose I am.

I am his chosen and crowned. My life is destined to bring him glory. This truth has been declared!

Dear friend, we cannot allow the truth of our calling to be compromised by the lies of comparison. Another woman’s success does not change God’s eternal and perfect plan. Knowing who we are in Christ is a game changer. It builds unshakeable God-confidence, which is vastly different from self-confidence, which changes like shifting sands.

And that woman who you resent and admire all at the same time? You are called to love her and cheer her on! Yes, I’m preaching to myself.  

Here’s what I’m asking you to do today. Invite that amazing woman in your life to join the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Let’s champion each other towards greatness instead of competing with one another. We are all in this Kingdom work together and we must stay united! 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Today’s post feels sort of like a heart ramble. I needed to encourage myself recently to put my trust in the Lord, so I thought maybe you might need the encouragement too. So here goes!

I’ve been in this funk lately. I know it’s because of a long trial I’m enduring, but I’m usually able to rise above the dark cloud of funk and walk with strength. But not this time. I’m not sure what changed, but I think God showed me that the reason is I stopped fighting. I started giving up. I started losing hope. Proverbs 15:13 says that “heartache crushes the spirit.”

Yep. It sure does.

I let my mind wander. My sanity felt like it was holding on by a thread. There were tears. Lots of tears.

Ever been there? It sucks.

And so there I was…sitting under that dark cloud of funk, feeling pretty sorry for myself. But guess what happened?

Can you believe God had the nerve to get all in my business right in the middle of my pity party? He simply whispered to my heart, “Get up! Do what you know to do and trust me!”

Yes, he fiercely pursues my heart like that. And, friend, he fiercely pursues you like that.

In difficult times, we have to consciously choose, with every fiber of our being, to trust God. This is when the rubber meets the road. This is when our faith is tested.

I have found in my own life that the more I know God, and the more of life I experience with God, the more I am able to trust him. As I walk through situations in life that threaten to break me to pieces, I can always fall back on what I already know and have lived through with God. Trusting God brings me peace; it restores my joy; it refreshes my soul. I am able to sing even on my darkest days because I trust in the Lord.

If you’re struggling this week with hopelessness and your soul feels crushed, draw near to God. He will draw near to you.

Choose today what kind of day you will have. You can choose to give up or get up! You can choose to let the devil get you down and discouraged by challenging what you know and believe, or you can choose to trust God and fight the good fight.

Even if you’re facing the hardest thing you’ve ever faced in your life, if you choose to trust God, you can walk with joy and confidence knowing he is going to bring you through this.

He IS going to bring you through this!

Lay your burdens at his feet. Quiet your mind. Be still. Breathe. Remember that God is good. He is faithful. He is love. He will never leave you nor forsake you. When you rise to your feet, keep your eyes fixed on God and walk with your eyes wide open, expecting God to show up and show off on your behalf. Thank him for all that he is doing and is about to do.

Chosen and Crowned friend, you are a child of God! Joy is your birthright! Victory is your destiny! And God is still God! In you, Lord my God, I put my trust (Psalm 25:1). 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Hello, my Chosen and Crowned sisters! I pray you are seeing God in your week and are taking some time to soak in his presence! If there’s one thing I know, it’s this – if we want to be strong in the roles God has placed us in, we must tear ourselves away from the pressure to be in constant motion. We must get determined about removing distractions and quieting ourselves before God.

We must get still.

You are probably familiar with the verse, “Be still, and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10).” But, I love the translation that says, “Cease striving and know that I am God” (New American Standard 1977).

Cease striving. How do we know when we’re striving? A good indication is when you feel like you are struggling, fighting or forcing a certain outcome by working just a little harder.

Striving is your flesh telling you to do just a little more. Striving says, “You’ve got this.”

Stillness is your flesh humbling itself before God. Stillness says, “God’s got this.”

Friend, your enemy, the devil, wants to see you exhausted, frustrated and too busy for God. He wants to put you in bondage to over-packed schedules, never ending to-do lists, and the pressure to be more and do more. The devil loves when you’re so stressed out that you cannot enjoy your kids, your husband, your job, or your life. Jesus warns us, “The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy” (John 10:10a).

I’m convinced that our striving is stealing our life from us. It’s stealing our joy of being a mom, a wife, and a daughter of God. And it’s limiting God from working mightily on our behalf and on behalf of those we love.

We must get still.

We must behold him, the Great I Am.

If we are to cease striving, this means we’re going to have to surrender the belief that the outcome depends on us. Over what things in your life are you finding yourself exhausted and stressed out? In whatever areas you’ve identified, God is calling you to trust him. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not depend on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

To “know” and “acknowledge” God means knowing and owning the fact that God is sovereign and does whatever he pleases. God is unchangeable in his nature, purposes, promises, and covenant. He is omnipotent (all-powerful) and is able to help you and deliver you, even at the last moment. He is omniscient (all-knowing) and knows your desires, your circumstances, your troubles. He is all-wise and does all things according to his perfect will. He makes all things work together for your good and is faithful to his word and promise. And although you may be hard pressed on every side, God will not allow you to be crushed. You will walk out victorious. Why?

Because, my beautiful friend, you are his Chosen and Crowned. Be still.

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Our nation wails under a curtain of darkness. Hatred has penetrated our land, ripping families to shreds and leaving them crumpled on the ground like waste ready to be taken out with the trash.  

This matters. Big time. I do not desire to stay silent, but what do I say? What do I do?

My opposing emotions leave me feeling speechless and helpless. It seems better to just shut down and keep to myself.

But here’s the problem when I choose to avoid the problem and keep quiet: My light goes out.

I am the light of the world because I am a follower of Jesus Christ. Jesus says, “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl” (Matthew 5: 14-15).

But I have put my light under a bowl with my silence and inactivity. My silence is a violent injustice to our nation. Silence breeds greater darkness and deeper despair. Silence leaves people more hopeless and hands a megaphone to hate and lies. My silence ushers violence to the front of the line, allowing it to believe it is the only solution to injustice.

“But instead of diminishing evil, violence multiplies it. Through violence, you may murder the hater, but you cannot murder the hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that” (MLK, Jr.).

Only light can drive out darkness. Jesus made you and me the light of the world empowered by his Holy Spirit. The only way we can affect change in the hearts of our human race and in our own hearts is through deeds of love, through being the hands and feet of Jesus. This seems contrary to our human understanding, but love is a powerful force. It has the power to flush out anger, to heal the brokenhearted, to unify the masses. Love is light that pierces the darkness, and Jesus’ brand of love cannot be overcome by darkness.

So I will choose to put my lamp on its stand, because it gives light to everyone around me. What does that practically look like for me this week?

I will first pray that God will teach me to love like he loves, that he will break my heart for what breaks his. I will ask him to show me specifically how, when and where my light can shine. I will depend on his power to fuel my light. Then I will go out, with eyes wide open, ready to love. I will smile at strangers. I will bless someone who has hurt me. I will forgive someone who has offended me. I will look for opportunities to be kind, patient and loving. I will not return anger for anger. I will cast love where I want to cast judgement. I will let my conversations be filled with love, not anger, hate or racism, as I talk about the tragedies with my kids, husband and others.

Jesus says to you and me, “Now get up and stand on your feet. I am sending you to them to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me” (Acts 26:17-18).

Will you join me, friend? Will you put your lamp on its stand? Imagine, then, how light will ripple through the darkness and drive out hate. Imagine, then, how the banners of hope, healing, and life will once again be lifted high, all to the glory of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

 Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

"Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you." Psalm 25:5

Sometimes I can’t find my joy. Circumstances cause it to disappear into the thick weeds of discouragement.  My mind tells me it’s in there somewhere, but my heart thinks it may be lost forever. So I call out to God and ask if joy will ever return to me.

God so tenderly answered my question after I helped my kids through a mini crisis. “Mom!” they called out. “Our toad just disappeared into the weeds and we can’t find him anywhere! Do you think we will ever find him again?”

I hurried outside to find my kids standing in front of a patch of weeds. Heads drooping and arms hanging helplessly at their sides, they were a sight for sore eyes.  “Is he lost forever?” they asked. I assured them he was not. My mothering instinct kicked in as I guided them through the steps necessary to find their pet.

We said a quick prayer and asked God to help. Then we grabbed the garden clippers and began cutting through the thick weeds. As I hacked away, I stationed each of my kids in a different area and instructed them to keep their eyes wide open. “Watch for him!”

Minutes passed that felt like hours and still no toad. My kids’ hope disappeared into the weeds just like their toad. “Don’t give up!” I said. “He’s in here somewhere.” Sure enough, after a little more searching, we found him.

Afterwards, God spoke to my heart and said, “Now go and search for your joy in the same way.” Here’s what I learned:

• Pray and ask God to help you find your joy. This seems so obvious, yet how often do we forget, and instead, try to do it on our own.

• Cut away the weeds. Discouragement, disappointment and hopelessness are like weeds that obstruct our view of God’s truths. When our eyes see only the details of our difficult circumstance, we can’t see the treasures hidden in God’s promises.

• Call a friend to help. A friend can help you dig through the weeds and remind you of God’s truths. Their friendship will strengthen you as you search.

• Determine that you will find it. Don’t give up! Joy will return to you!

• Claim the joy that is yours. The truth is that no one and nothing has the ultimate power to steal your joy. It is yours because Jesus is yours.

Often when I feel my joy trying to slip away, I shout out loud at my circumstance, “You’re not going to steal my joy!”

If weeds of discouragement have grown over your heart today, pray this scripture from Psalm 25:5, “God, lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.” Let God’s truth be the clippers that cut away the weeds of discouragement. Put your hope in God’s promises and let them lead you! Keep your eyes wide open. Joy is right there ready for the taking. Reach out today and take hold of it!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

(Repost from 9-28-15)

Character is defined as “the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual”. If you’re a mom with more than one child, I bet you’ve been amazed at how each one has distinct qualities that make for very different personalities. What qualities would you use to describe each of your children? No doubt you are thinking of both good and not-so-good qualities.

I love thanking God for the wonderful qualities he has uniquely placed in each of my children, but what about the not-so-good? Instead of taking them to God like I should, I’ve been “taking” them to anyone who will listen. Can I get a witness? A lot of breath and energy has been used complaining about my kids instead of championing for them. What does it mean to champion for our children’s character? It means we fight for it! We don’t need to wear ourselves out fighting with our children. We need to wear ourselves out fighting for our children! How do we fight? We fight in prayer!

With this fresh conviction on my heart, I changed up my usual prayer place in the kitchen, and instead, prayed in my kid’s bedrooms. As I sat on each of their beds and prayed for their character, tears spilled down my cheeks. The words from a favorite worship song poured from my lips, “Holy Spirit, you are welcomed here. Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere.” I stood to my feet and walked around each child’s room, my arms stretched out wide. “Holy Spirit, fill the atmosphere of this house! Fill the atmosphere of my child’s heart! Fill it! Fill it with your character!”

What is the character of our triune God (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit)? The Bible gives us nine distinctive qualities: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Just imagine, dear Mom Friend, how the atmosphere of our homes and hearts would be transformed if we started championing for the character of God to reign! What miracles would unfold before our eyes if we prayed that God’s presence would overwhelm us?

God, let love reign!

Let joy reign!

Let peace reign!

Let patience reign!

Let kindness reign!

Let goodness reign!

Let faithfulness reign!

Let gentleness reign!

Let self-control reign!

All glory to God! When our children invite Jesus to be their Lord and Savior, God sends his Spirit to dwell in them. His grace makes these qualities a reality for our children and for our families through the working power of his Holy Spirit! Mom Friend, let’s decide today to stop complaining and start championing!

Let’s pray like our kid’s lives depend on it because they do! If possible, change up your usual prayer place today and go pray in each of your children’s rooms. Sit on their beds. Walk around their rooms with your arms stretched wide. Put on the worship song “Holy Spirit” by Francesca Battistelli and let it lead you into a powerful time of praise, worship and petition.

God, we come to you boldly today and ask you to fill the atmosphere of our homes and hearts with your character and presence! Forgive us for complaining and help us begin championing! Let the fruit of your Holy Spirit grow abundantly in our hearts. Let love reign! Let joy reign! Let peace reign! Let patience reign! Let kindness reign! Let goodness reign! Let faithfulness reign! Let gentleness reign! Let self-control reign! (Galatians 5:22-23) Flood us with your Spirit!  

Thank you for the working power of your Holy Spirit in ________. When I am feeling discouraged over my child’s not-so-good qualities, I will put my hope in you! I will trust in you because I know you have started a good work in ________ and you will be faithful to complete it! (Philippians 1:6)

Thank you for loving each of us despite our many flaws. You are never mad at us. You are never disappointed with us. Because of Jesus’ great sacrifice, we have been perfected in your sight. (Hebrews 10:14) What amazing grace! In that same grace, help me to train my child in the way he should go. Forgive me for forcing when I should be surrendering. I want to cooperate with you, Lord, as you gently mold ________’s heart and make it like yours. In Jesus’ powerful name I pray.

Amen!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Do you remember the first time someone called you “mom” or you said you were so-in-so’s mom? I do. It was when I brought my brand new baby boy home from the hospital and needed to make his one week check-up appointment at the doctors. “Hello. Yes, this is Seth’s mom. I’m calling to make an appointment for him.”

Although I had zero experience as a mom and very little know how, I was immediately given the title of mom. And though it felt new, it felt wonderful, and I wore it proudly. Motherhood was part of the high calling God put on my life. So why is it then that when I bravely followed God’s calling on my life to write and speak, I didn’t instantly and proudly wear the titles “writer” and “speaker”? If you are pursuing your own God-ordained calling, you will understand what I’m talking about.  Are you a photographer? An artist? A graphic designer?

I am an author and a speaker. Although I’ve been an author for a year now and a speaker for three, I tend to stammer and search for the right words to say when someone asks me what I do. I somehow believe the lie that I must attain large amounts of experience and success before wearing the titles.

I have learned that although a title feels big and uncomfortable when we first try it on, unless we wear it, wiggle around in it and go out in public with it, we will never fully embrace who we are and what we are called to do.

 I understand that wearing the fancy title invites attention like a woman wearing an oversized purple hat with a giant red flower awkwardly pinned to the side. People may even judge you. Insecurity tries to call your bluff and you begin comparing yourself to others who wear the same title. Stop! Comparison accomplishes only two things. One is that you will find someone who wears the title better and you’ll become discouraged. The second is that you will find someone who wears it worse and you’ll be puffed up with pride. Either way, comparison is a killer. Don’t do it.

Remember, dear friend, that the One who called you is faithful to fulfill His will in your life. Say this verse out loud with me, “Even before I was born, God chose me and called me by his marvelous grace. Then it pleased him to reveal his Son to me so that I would proclaim the Good News about Jesus to the Gentiles” (Galatians 1:15-16). Did you catch that? God chose you and called you! In fact, Jesus says in John 15:16, “You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit.” Let the many truths in these verses sink into your bones today.

In John 15, Jesus calls himself the Vine. The nature of a vine is to spread. Jesus graciously chose you and me to be the branches, and we are to bear his fruit. There is only one Vine, but many branches. You may look very similar to another branch on the Vine, but there is still only one you. One beautiful, chosen and crowned you. When we, the branches, learn to intertwine and work together, instead of competing and strangling life from one another through competition and comparison, the Gardener’s garden will grow and produce much fruit.  Satan knows that if he can inject enough poisonous fear, insecurity and pride into the branches that it will render the garden useless and ineffective. The Bible says to humble ourselves before God, resist the devil, and he will flee from us (James 4:7).

Friend, we need to remember Who our success comes from and humble ourselves under his mighty hand. When we stay connected to the Vine and resist the temptations of pride and comparisons, we can soak in Jesus’ love, acceptance, encouragement and power. As we confidently embrace the title of our calling, faithfully using our gifts and talents for the assignments God has given us, then His salvation message and plan for His people will spread to the ends of the earth.

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Sometimes I don’t like my children. Don’t misunderstand, I love them unconditionally, and if any of them would be ripped from my life, I fear it would leave a gaping hole so big that it would never heal. But sometimes I just don’t like them. Can I say that without CYS knocking on my front door or without being judged by other moms? Even saying those words out loud makes me feel like a horrible mom, but I wonder if you ever don’t like your kids too. Can we just be real and vulnerable for a moment? We never planned to sometimes not like them, after all they are flesh from our flesh. When the nurse laid my first child in my arms and I beheld his adorable perfection, I could not have imagined that such a bundle could ever test my patience and push me to the edges of my sanity.

It wasn’t long before that precious bundle was a toddler throwing himself on the ground in an ugly temper tantrum because I wouldn’t buy him Sugar O’s at the supermarket. Or how about the time when he was a grade schooler and instead of putting angry eyes on Mr. Potato Head, he put them on himself and started growling at me because I didn’t allow him to watch another hour of television. Most recently as a boy almost as tall as me and about to enter his teen years, he rushed toward me threatening, “Do you want hurt, Mom?” all because I had playfully put ice cubes down his back. He wasn’t playing though. He was mad. The disrespect in his eyes and the seriousness of his tone struck my heart like a knife. Although I didn’t, I wanted to push him back and threaten him with a few words of my own. Is it okay to admit that? Have you ever been surprised at your child’s ability to stir up hurt and anger in you? The Bible says “don’t sin by letting anger control you” (Eph. 4:26). In the past, I have allowed my anger to control me. This time I paused, took a deep breath and allowed the Holy Spirit to fill me with self-control. I’m so thankful, too, that at that precise moment my husband, who had been working outside, walked past the window where my son and I stood in our stare down. I immediately called him in, and together we properly disciplined our son for his sinful behavior.  

Within a couple of hours and after apologizing to me, my son was back to his jolly, easy-going self. Though I had forgiven him, my heart was wounded and I struggled to entertain his conversations. When I tucked him into bed that night, I struggled to rub his back, talk about his day and pray with him like I always do. That evening I didn’t like him. I loved him, but I didn’t like him. His behavior towards me earlier that evening was so repulsive. He had hurt me and the wound was still bleeding. After kissing him goodnight, I went in my bedroom to be alone and was reminded of this verse, “Surely I was sinful from birth, sinful from the moment my mother conceived me” (Psalm 51:5). There on my bed, God reminded me that although we are born innocent, all humans are born with a sinful nature. That includes me. That includes my son. My son’s sinful nature got the best of him that day. His sin wounded me and it was okay for me to need some space from him in order to heal.

Sweet mom friend, has your child’s sinful behavior wounded you? Do you sometimes not like your child even though you love him with all your heart? It’s okay. That means you’re human and your child is human. If you have allowed your anger to control you, ask God to forgive you. Apologize to your child and ask him to forgive you, too. Let God’s grace crash over you with every wave of difficulty that hits you in parenting. God’s grace will help you and your children ride out the storms together. As moms, it’s our job to help them stay in the boat of God’s will for their life. Teach and model Biblical principles and have the courage to discipline your child. Will they thrash against your authority? Probably. But we must hold on tight. Hebrews 12:11 tells us why, “No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening – it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.”

Moms, our persistent, Godly discipline will produce in our kids a harvest of right living for them. What a gift! Discipline will allow our kids to share in God’s holiness instead of falling into the sea of sin. So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees! Take your children by the hand and lead them in the way of the Captain. May God strengthen you and bless you as you persevere in your high calling as a mom. Thank you for allowing me to journey with you.

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. Proverbs 22:6

My heart hurt as I watched my son struggle. “This morning is so stressful! Can’t you help me, Mom?” said my exasperated preteen as he frantically darted around the house before school. He so hoped I would come to his rescue, helping him make up for his poor planning and time management. “No,” was my firm but calm response.

Later that day, we talked about where things went wrong and why I didn’t help. Although I knew my words would be received with an eye roll, I said, “Poor planning and time management on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.” I have taught him since kindergarten how he can be so far ahead simply by laying out his clothes and putting his homework in his backpack before bedtime.

But as you know, kids think they know better, so they test out their own routine. My son’s routine looks something like this: Mom wakes him up one hour before the bus. He lays in bed for twenty more minutes before coming downstairs where he lays for another twenty-five. With only fifteen minutes before the bus is blaring its horn, my son jumps up like a cat high on catnip and begins darting around the house. The problem is he can’t find shorts to match his lime green shirt or the candy he wanted for his lunch. He’s sure his sisters must’ve taken it. His homework is lost too, so he runs back to his room hoping to excavate it from the mountain of dirty clothes and baseball stuff that he neglected to clean up the night before.

I felt bad for him as I watched him struggle. I wanted to come to his rescue, but the Bible instructs me to direct my child onto the right path so that when he is older, he will not leave it. The best way I could redirect him was to ask God to strengthen him through the struggle. I read a story once about a man who saw a butterfly struggling out of its tightly spun cocoon. Feeling sorry for the butterfly, the man began pulling at the sides of the cocoon. Great was his disappointment when the winged creature fell to the ground too weak to fly. You see, the butterfly didn’t need rescued. It needed to be strengthened through the struggle. Often, that’s God’s design for us too.

As moms, sometimes the best thing we can do is step out of the way and allow God to do his thing. We should give our kids the tools to succeed, but then have the courage to allow them to fail and learn from their mistakes. Instead of rescuing them, let’s walk through the fire with them, teaching them how to be strong and wise using God’s instructions. When we do that, we will have the joy of watching them be strengthened through the struggle, spread their wings and fly.

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Repost from June 2015

Honestly, I dread the beginning of summer. For nine months my kids cruise at a high altitude of school work and activities, but once the kids begin their countdown to summer, the plane they’re cruising in begins a fast descent toward the land of too much free time and boredom. I’ve learned over the years that the tools I use to prepare the landing strip will determine the success of the sudden impact. 

I’ve put together A Mom’s Summertime Survival Guide with 11 Tips To Help You And Your Kids Have The Best Summer Ever. Please share this with every amazing mom you know.

1.  Just like a playground, create a summer that is relaxed and fun, yet has enough structure (aka: routine) and boundaries (aka: rules) to keep your kids thriving and safe. Picture a playground for a moment. The spacious ground has play structures and grassy areas put in place where kids can run and play freely. But boundaries are also put in place to mark where they need to stop and listen for mom’s instruction.

The moment my kids fling themselves from the school bus on the last day of school, they think summer is a free for all. No rules. No work. All fun. Oh how they squirm when I call a family meeting and lay out the routines and rules for the summer. We’ve been talking for weeks about all the fun we’re going to have. Now it’s time for Mom’s sanity-saving “If you want to live to see the end of summer, you better listen up” speech.

Continue reading to learn about some of the structure and boundaries I build on our summertime playground of life. We’ll address the fun stuff first.

2.  Don’t be your kids’ cruise ship director. Equip your kids to entertain themselves. I am not my kids’ cruise ship director, meaning that I am not responsible to create fun for my kids 24/7. I fully expect them to entertain themselves and I tell them so; however, if I give them a few ideas and buy a few inexpensive items, I can help them find more success in this expectation. Below is the link to a great blog I found with ideas to keep us mom’s from hearing the mind-numbing siren, “Moooooom, I’m soooo boooored!”

Here are 29 Dollar Store Finds That Will Keep Your Kids Busy All Summer: http://www.buzzfeed.com/mikespohr/29-dollar-store-finds-that-will-keep-your-kids-busy-all-summ#.beqjpln9LN

 3.  Take advantage of free or inexpensive programs, camps and adventures in your community. A couple of summer’s ago, my kids and I decided to be tourists in our own city. We had so much fun together and created wonderful memories. We visited spray parks, bike trails, downtown fountains and walkways, and cool parks. We even rode the subway and incline. Also our local library, along with its summer reading program, offered classes on things like painting, writing, nature discovery, star gazing, and karate. My kids made some great new friends and gained a love for the library. Another way I held onto my sanity was by signing my kids up for a couple Vacation Bible Schools or community camps. While my kids were having a blast in these programs, I got a couple quiet hours to do whatever my little heart desired.

4.  Host a playdate at your house or a local park. Another idea to get some free fun is by hosting a playdate at your house or a local park. Set up a picnic; let the kids shake up some homemade ice cream; create an obstacle course; get out the sprinklers and side walk chalk. Although it might create some extra noise and chaos, children are so much more creative when they’re in a group, and you will at the very least get some sympathetic company from the other moms who came to the circus…er, um, I mean, playdate.

5.  Manage your kids screen time by requiring reading time. If your kids are like mine, it’s like pulling teeth to get them away from the ipads, video games and television. Every summer, I require my kids to earn their screen time. For every minute they want to be in front of a screen, they must read for the same amount of minutes. Since they don’t want to read for any more than thirty minutes to an hour, their screen time stays within my desired amount. My kids tell me I’m the only mom who enforces this “completely unfair rule”; however, you can imagine my elation every time I read this exact tip from parenting experts. And yes, I do enjoy showing the articles to my children and reminding them how lucky they are to have me for a mom. And yes, they do roll their eyes at me and groan.

6.  Have a zero tolerance policy for excessive whining and fighting. My three kids are each two years apart. Sometimes they are best friends and other times they are each other’s worst enemies. I absolutely cannot handle listening to their constant whining, fighting and tattle-tale-ing. Just yesterday, I hollered at my daughter with the frazzled threat, “If you don’t stop right now, I’m going to rip all my hair out and throw it on you!”  I wish you could’ve seen the horror in her face as she visualized the playing out of that scenario. I told my kids that if they aren’t able to work out their differences within a reasonable amount of time, they will be put in separate rooms until they can find their good attitudes.

7.  Require your kids to share the load by doing chores. I am not my kids’ personal maid. Yes, the revelation of this fact makes them moan and thrash around on the floor like a mad shark out of water, but kids need to learn that a family is a team. Teaching kids the life skills of making a house a home is invaluable. My kids have certain chores they are expected to do simply because they are part of our family, but I also have a list of chores they can do to make money. There are so many things they want to spend money on in the summer, so teaching them to work for their income not only keeps them from begging me for money, but helps them learn to make a budget and choose their purchases carefully.

8.  Incorporate a quiet time into the day’s routine. It is healthy for kids and moms to have time in their day when they are alone and quiet. Although the kids might not agree, quiet time fosters creativity, peace and rest. On most days in the summer, I create space in the afternoon when we each go to a separate room or a blanket under a tree and have some downtime. This is a great time for kids to get in their reading minutes. For little ones who can’t read yet, borrow books-on-CD from your local library.  When my daughter was a preschooler, she loved playing bake shop or restaurant with her baby dolls and stuffed animals. I allow my kids to create their own activity during that quiet time. The only rule is they must be alone and quiet. I will warn you that this is the hardest tip to implement. If your kids can’t handle an hour right away, try working up to an hour by starting with twenty minutes. Be prepared to stick to your rules because they will test you repeatedly. But once they know they’re not going to win, they will settle into the routine.

     9.  Incorporate YOU time. I know this can be hard to do, but it is so worth creating space and time for yourself. You’re a better mom when your body, mind and spirit are healthy. Since I could never afford a regular babysitter, I made time for myself during our daily quiet times, while my kids were at Vacation Bible School and by getting up an hour earlier than my kids. Yes, sometimes that meant getting up at 5am. If you’re a night owl, maybe it would work better to stay up a while longer after putting them to bed.  

Another idea is to arrange a Kid Swap. One year, I arranged a Kid Swap with a friend. Once a month, she would take my kids for an entire day and then on another day in the month, I would take hers. It was wonderful having six or seven hours all to myself.

10.  Make time for your adult relationships. We are created for deep relationships, so make this a priority. Go on a fun date with your husband at least once a month. If you can’t afford a babysitter and don’t have grandma close by, make arrangements with a friend to, once again, swap kid-watching duties. Making your marriage a priority will build your friendship with your spouse and create a more loving home. Kids need to see their parents loving each other.

And don’t forget about your girlfriends! Your husband cannot meet all of your emotional needs. That’s why God gave us each other. So plan a night out with the girls! Blow the dust off those sexy high heels, put on some make up and let your hair down!

11.  Last, but not least, grow your relationship with God. I absolutely cannot be the mom, wife and woman I need to be if I don’t spend time with God each morning. I discipline myself to get up before my kids and spend time in Bible study, prayer and worship. There’s nothing that gives me more wisdom, strength, patience and self-discipline than soaking in God’s presence and direction. The wisdom of Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”

One final note for your morning quiet time. Resist the urge to get on facebook or other social media first thing in the morning. Bible teacher and author Lysa Terkeurst says, “Exchange whispers with God before exchanging shouts with the world.”

Sweet mom friend, I pray you have not just the best summer ever, but the most blessed summer ever. Getting to be a mom is an awesome privilege and calling. There’s no harder or more wonderful job in all the world. I pray peace will fill your home and love will overflow. Now go and hug those kids of yours because in a blink of an eye, they’ll be grown up raising families of their own. God bless you! Remember to share A Mom’s Summer Survival Guide with all the amazing moms in your life!

If you’d like to start your own daily Bible study time, a great summer study is Anna Frye’s 6-week Bible study book, “Extraordinary You: Created to Live with Passion and Purpose.” By sharing many personal stories and scriptures, Anna will take you by the hand and help you discover a deeper, more meaningful relationship with God. Purchase your copy today at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/store

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Note: This was supposed to publish last Wednesday and I'm just realizing it never did! I apologize! 

Have you ever felt disqualified to help your child with a current issue because of your past issues? The night my daughter told me she was fat and was going on a diet was the night that flashed me back to a chapter in my own story I’d preferred to keep shut. However, being a mom of two preteen girls is forcing me to reopen that chapter. 

My mind raced, searching for the right words to say back to my beautiful daughter, but all I could find were pictures from my past. The faded images were of me as a teenager, bending over a toilet, finger down my throat, trying desperately to throw up the dinner I had just finished.  I could still feel the cold bathroom floor beneath my knees as my attention shifted back to my daughter.

I silently pleaded with God, “Oh God. Give me the words to say.”

Her blue eyes locked with mine, and I became painfully aware of my limitations as a mom.  As I looked back at my own failures in this area, all the shame of my past mistakes made me feel ill-equipped and unqualified to come alongside my daughter in a way that would help her and not harm her.

Still unsure of what to say, I could feel some words forming in my heart.

I simply said, “I felt like that, too, when I was your age, and sometimes I still feel like that. But I've learned some things that have helped.  If you’d like, we can talk about some of those things.”

My words weren’t profound, but they were practical. My first instinct was to quickly dodge the issue by telling her she wasn’t fat and that she didn’t need to worry about these things, but then how would I really be helping her? Her reality was that she did feel fat and she was worrying about these things.

As a parent, I've learned that when we quickly dismiss our children’s issues, we risk them dismissing us as someone who understands and can help. They’ll eventually find someone else who will listen or they’ll try dealing with the issue on their own. As you and I both know, this can be very dangerous depending on who they talk to or how they choose to cope.

As I considered the different things I could say to my daughter, I made this decision:

I’m not going to be a “let’s dismiss this” parent. I’m going to be a “let’s dig into this” parent.

Let’s dig in and learn practical ways to eat healthy and get more exercise.

Let’s dig in to see what God’s Word has to say about your body, your confidence and your purpose. By the way, he has MUCH to say on these issues!

Let’s dig in to what is making you feel this way.

Let’s dig in to find out what more I can do. Let’s dig in to find out more what you can do.

And let’s not forget to dig into prayer. Remember that God cares about your heart. After all, he’s the one who created it!

As I’ve dared to gaze back at the haunting images from my teen years and my personal battle with body and confidence issues, I have felt the loving hands of my Father turn my head back towards him. Although I have some ways to go, God  has brought me so far. You see, my past does not hold me, nor does it define me. This is true for you too. “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10, NLT).

This is a truth I am teaching my daughter, too, as we dig into this body confidence issue together.

Friend, don’t let your past mistakes shame you into feeling ill-equipped and disqualified to help your child with his or her current issue. Most likely, you are the perfect person for the job. Have the courage to be a “let’s dig into this” mom; instead of a “let’s dismiss this” mom. God has equipped you to dig in to whatever this day may hold. Go into your day with God and you’ll go into your day ready to be awesome!

I’m so blessed to have been a small part of your day today. Thank you!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

I’m done yelling at my kids.

I wish you could’ve witnessed the eye-opening conversation I had with my pre-teen daughter that brought me to this decision. Let me set the stage for you.

It was a rainy, cold Saturday, and we had nothing on the calendar. I told my kids that they could play for a couple of hours, but then we were going to spend some time cleaning the basement (aka: their play room). My mention of chores was the finger that flipped the switch on my daughter’s attitude.

She went from happy, playing child to child in attack mode. Cue eye darts and flood of self-entitled words.

“But it’s Saturday! We worked hard in school all week long. Why should we have to work on Saturday too?” she moaned.

I responded, “We live, play and make messes in this house together, so we have to work and clean in this house together, too. It’s just how life works.”

Cue eye roll and heavy sigh. Her brother and sister usually let her do all the talking, but join her in the dramatic sulking, eye rolls and deep sighs.

“Come on, guys,” she said to them reluctantly. They followed her down the steps to the basement in sloth-like fashion, each foot hitting the steps like 25-pound weights were strapped around their ankles.

I went about my work, but was interrupted a short time later with hollers from the basement. “Mooooom! We’re doooooone! You can come check our work.”

I walked down the basement steps and could quickly see that minimum effort had been put into cleaning the basement.

Honestly, I wasn’t surprised by my findings. This has become the first step in an unfolding pattern I’ve allowed in my home that always leads to me yelling and the kids getting away with murder.

Here is the pattern: Mom assigns chore. Children begrudgingly go and do the chore, but with minimal effort. Children call mom to check work. Mom stops what she’s doing to check work. Mom gets frustrated, but gives the kids another chance and goes back to work. A few minutes later, kids call again. Mom stops what she’s doing again only to find the chore still isn’t done well. Mom’s frustration level increases and the pattern continues until mom’s patience has been exhausted and blows her lid. Ever been there?

Not this time! Mama is wisin’ up!

When I saw the still-messy basement, I calmly got down on my knees and looked my cherub-faced children in the eyes. “I’m not going to turn into crazy, psychotic, yelling mom today. I’m not going to waste hours of the day on a chore that should take you 30 minutes. You know what is expected of you. You know how to do the job well. The next time you call me down here and the job is not done well, I’m not going to yell. I’m just going to take away ipads, tv’s and computers for whatever amount of time I deem appropriate.”

The kids nervously shifted their focus and glanced at one another. Then my daughter said, “No, go ahead and just yell, Mom.”

“No. I’m done yelling because yelling doesn’t change your behavior. It doesn’t ruin your day. It only ruins mine.” I responded.

“Exactly,” she said and turned on her heels to go clean the craft table.

What?? My daughter had already figured out what I was only now realizing!

Mom friends, yelling doesn’t change our kids’ behavior. It only ruins our day! What’s the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results. The next time you feel your frustration levels rising because of your child’s behavior, it’s time to try something new.

I’m not a child psychiatrist or parenting expert, and I know I have MUCH more to learn, but here is my insight based on almost 13 years of parenting experience:

Remember, YOU are the parent! Your child’s poor behavior shouldn’t be ruining your day; it should be ruining their day! Figure out what form of discipline will “ruin” their day enough to bring about lasting change. Not only will this bring future peace to your home, it will direct your children onto the right path, so that when they are older, they will not leave it (Proverbs 22:6, NLT).

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Today’s post feels sort of like a heart ramble. I needed to encourage myself recently to put my trust in the Lord, so I thought maybe you might need the encouragement too. So here goes!

I’ve been in this funk lately. I know it’s because of a long trial I’m enduring, but I’m usually able to rise above the dark cloud of funk and walk with strength. But not this time. I’m not sure what changed, but I think God showed me that the reason is I stopped fighting. I started giving up. I started losing hope. Proverbs 15:13 says that “heartache crushes the spirit.”

Yep. It sure does.

I let my mind wander. My sanity felt like it was holding on by a thread. There were tears. Lots of tears.

Ever been there? It sucks.

And so there I was…sitting under that dark cloud of funk, feeling pretty sorry for myself. But guess what happened?

Can you believe God had the nerve to get all in my business right in the middle of my pity party? He simply whispered to my heart, “Get up! Do what you know to do and trust me!”

Yes, he fiercely pursues my heart like that. And, friend, he fiercely pursues you like that.

In difficult times, we have to consciously choose, with every fiber of our being, to trust God. This is when the rubber meets the road. This is when our faith is tested.

I have found in my own life that the more I know God, and the more of life I experience with God, the more I am able to trust him. As I walk through situations in life that threaten to break me to pieces, I can always fall back on what I already know and have lived through with God. Trusting God brings me peace; it restores my joy; it refreshes my soul. I am able to sing even on my darkest days because I trust in the Lord.

If you’re struggling this week with hopelessness and your soul feels crushed, draw near to God. He will draw near to you.

Choose today what kind of day you will have. You can choose to give up or get up! You can choose to let the devil get you down and discouraged by challenging what you know and believe, or you can choose to trust God and fight the good fight.

Even if you’re facing the hardest thing you’ve ever faced in your life, if you choose to trust God, you can walk with joy and confidence knowing he is going to bring you through this.

He IS going to bring you through this!

Lay your burdens at his feet. Quiet your mind. Be still. Breathe. Remember that God is good. He is faithful. He is love. He will never leave you nor forsake you. When you rise to your feet, keep your eyes fixed on God and walk with your eyes wide open, expecting God to show up and show off on your behalf. Thank him for all that he is doing and is about to do.

Chosen and Crowned friend, you are a child of God! Joy is your birthright! Victory is your destiny! And God is still God! In you, Lord my God, I put my trust (Psalm 25:1). 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

This week, two very important things are on the calendar: Teacher Appreciation Week and Mother’s Day. We should rename this week National Superhero Week, don’t you think?! What’s our secret power? Love.  My daughter says she has two angels in her life: her momma and her teacher. Mothers are teachers and teachers are like mothers to their students. Every day our children watch us, listen to us and learn from us. This is sometimes a heavy burden, but is always a precious gift and calling. We hold a high position of influence to impact the next generation. And so to every imperfect but amazing teacher and momma out there who shows up every day to do the hardest, best job on the earth… I celebrate you!

I want to encourage you this week with one of my favorite scriptures that strengthens me on my hardest days: Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9).

We reap what we sow. If you are a mom or teacher reading this, I know you sow love into your work every day with your superhero powers.  I know that, like me, sometimes you make mistakes; sometimes you’re the one throwing the temper tantrum; sometimes you want to quit. 

But you don’t.  Because you love.  And love is the greatest power that exists.

Your love is planting seeds in a child’s heart that are producing courage, acceptance, perseverance, kindness and joy. Your love makes them spring out of bed (or if they’re a teenager, crawl out of bed like a sloth) knowing there will be good in their day. Your love makes them lie down at night and sleep in peace.

Mom and teacher friend, you are truly joining God in eternal, life-giving work. Your labor is not in vain, and at just the right time, you will reap a breath-taking harvest if you do not give up.

So keep on keeping on. What you do everyday matters. Can I pray one of my favorite scripture blessings on you before we part ways today?

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace (Numbers 6:24-26).

Happy Teacher Appreciation Week! Happy Mother’s Day! Happy Superheroes Week!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

I recently wrote a post about envy and comparison called, "Blindsided by Another Woman's Success". It got more likes, shares and comments than anything I’ve ever written. Since apparently I’m not the only one who gets myself caught in comparison’s clutches, I decided to ask God how we can stop falling prey to this joy-killing, effectiveness-stealing trap. Here are four things God is showing me. I’d love to hear your feedback on this!

Be aware. The first step toward any change is awareness. We must be aware, first, of our human tendency to fall prey to comparison and ask God for help. Secondly, we must be aware that comparison is a trap. It lies in wait for us and has been set up by an expert hunter who has studied our behavior, our patterns and our desires. Our enemy, Satan, knows just the right place and time to set his trap, and he has one goal – to steal, kill and destroy the life Jesus came to give us. He wants to steal our joy and effectiveness as moms, wives, friends, and influencers. And he can do this by setting the bait.  

Recognize the bait. The bait is different for each of us. It could be that mom who always seems to have a home-cooked meal waiting for her family. Her kids actually seem to like each other, and their outfits are always so darn cute. And, yes, their socks even match. It could be the husband and wife who are holding hands and laughing together as they walk through the park while you and your husband struggle to connect. It could be a friend’s vacation pictures on facebook you wish were yours; a co-worker’s promotion you’d hoped to get; a sister’s beautifully decorated home you could never attain; a woman’s amazingly sculpted body she got simply by sticking to a plan someone told you would work for you too. Only it didn’t and you’re left feeling less than whatever. The bait is anything we’re attracted to: a happy family, a strong marriage, a beautiful home, a fun vacation, a successful career, a healthy body.

These are all good things, but careful of the bait and switch! There’s nothing wrong with desiring good things until that desire switches into envy. That’s when the cage begins closing around you. You’ve take the focus off your own journey and have begun envying someone else’s. You’ve chosen to see only the shiny, polished parts of that person’s journey while ignoring or dismissing her struggles, setbacks and insecurities. What a tragedy to think of the opportunities lost because of envy?

And what a tragedy it is when we deny our own unique qualities that make us amazing and a blessing. God’s not in the business of creating clones. God creates individuals. There is no one else like you. When we desire to live another person’s story, we deprive ourselves of the deep purpose that’s been written into ours by God himself.

Resist temptation. Friend, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you (Philippians 4:13). Call out to him for help! When you submit to God and resist the devil, Satan will flee from you (James 4:7)! You can kick the trap he’s set for you into the weeds and walk victoriously down the path God blazed for you.

Determine not to look back. Reality is that we will be drawn again to the bait. Why? Because our hearts yearn for what is good and pleasurable. And because we’re impatient and want it now! But don’t be deceived. The good God has for you can only be found as you look ahead and press on in your own journey. Look at the many gifts and blessings he’s already given you and be thankful. Look ahead knowing there are many more along the way. When you’re tempted to look back and compare, fix your eyes and thoughts on God instead. Focus on the work he’s given you to do today and do it well (Galatians 6:4). “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need” (Matthew 6:33).

Stop allowing comparison and envy to steal your joy of being a mom, wife, friend, influencer, and most importantly, a Chosen and Crowned daughter of the King!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32

Have you been doing any spring cleaning? My closets, corners and carpets have been breathing a little easier since getting attacked by my cleaning prowess. Typically I’m not very disciplined at deep cleaning my house, but there comes a point when grime and clutter have overstayed their welcome and need to be kicked to the curb.

This is true of unforgiveness too.

Unforgiveness tends to hide in the corners of our heart like cheap dollar store toys in a child’s drawer. Those toys are easy to ignore for a while, but it’s only a matter of time before you’re innocently walking through your house and a sharp pain suddenly shoots through the arch of your foot. The culprit?  A hard, plastic action figure from the dollar store. This is usually when the cleaning prowess in you emerges with a fury.

We need to tackle unforgiveness with the same kind of fury.

Let’s stop ignoring it. Let’s stop stuffing it. Let’s stop allowing it to build up until we become bitter, cynical women. Don’t see yourself as bitter? Think about some recent conversations you’ve had with friends. Who is the focus of your sarcastic, impatient, critical comments? This most likely is the person you need to forgive.

And of course, we know we’re supposed to forgive, but how?

In an article from Psychology Today, Dr. Andrea Brandt says we must first learn what forgiveness is not. She lists several things that forgiving someone doesn’t mean:

• Forgiveness doesn’t mean you are pardoning or excusing the other person’s actions.
• Forgiveness doesn’t mean you need to tell the person that he or she is forgiven.
• Forgiveness doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have any more feelings about the situation.
• Forgiveness doesn’t mean there is nothing further to work out in the relationship or that everything is okay now.
• Forgiveness doesn’t mean you should forget the incident ever happened.
• Forgiveness isn’t something you do for the other person.

Forgiveness is something you do for yourself. It helps you heal. It cleans out your heart and allows you to breathe again. Joy and peace can move back in and begin unpacking their bags. But the cleaning out of unforgiveness takes time, laser-like focus, and fresh resolve. You’ll need a stream-lined plan:

Pray - Ask God to forgive you for harboring unforgiveness, then ask him to give you the want-to, the know-how and the strength to forgive.

Learn – Find out what the Bible teaches about forgiveness. Read a few articles online from wise teachers and counselors. Here are a couple to get you started:

• What Is Real Forgiveness
• Four Steps To Forgiving Others 
• How Do You Forgive Even When It Feels Impossible 

Connect - Meet with a counselor or ask a friend to hold you accountable.

I want you to know, dear friend, that as I’m writing this plan, I’m committing to it. God revealed a mess of unforgiveness in my heart that needs some deep cleaning. Will you join me?  Let’s make our lights shine again. After all, we are God’s Chosen and Crowned. Let’s do this!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

You might be reading this from some sunny, warm area of the country. If so, please invite me to visit because where I live, it hasn’t been warm or sunny. And I am so over it!  In fact, this past weekend, when the weatherman announced a winter weather advisory, I put on all black and told my family that I was in mourning over the loss of spring. As you might be able to tell, I have been complaining about the weather…a lot!

I even whined to God, “How long, Lord?”

As I watched the snow fall and cover the ground, I began thinking, though, about how extended winter seasons are a great illustration for dark and wearisome seasons of life. Have you ever been in one of those and found yourself asking, “How long, Lord?” Maybe you’re in one right now.

When King David found himself in a burden-filled season, he complained too, “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?” (Psalm 13:1-2).

David’s difficult season of life had tarried too long and he was so over it! His heart was burdened with sorrow and he prayed earnestly for relief.

It is normal for any human, when trouble lasts a long while, to think that it will last always. When we have long been without joy and hope, it’s easy to fall into complaining, but what we must do is fall into prayer.

This is what David did and he experienced a shift in perspective, “But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me” (Psalm 13:5-6).

As David fell on his knees and brought his complaints and burdens before the throne of mercy, God helped him believe again. He strengthened David’s faith and reminded him of his goodness.

Though it still felt and looked like winter for David, he rose from his knees with confidence, knowing that a new season would surely come.

Dear friend, if you can bring your big problems to the feet of Jesus and leave them there, he will lift up your weary head to see that he is bigger. He will help you climb from your pit of despair back to solid ground where confidence and joy abound. God is faithful to carry you through every difficult season. Sometimes relief will come quickly, other times slowly. But a new season of life will surely come. We will find that our complaints were unnecessary, and we will acknowledge that the Lord, indeed, has been good to us. Praise him today!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Have you ever worked at something for a long time and not experienced the hoped for results? Hour after hour. Day after day. Month after month. Year after year. You’ve tried your hardest. You’ve disciplined yourself. You’ve persevered. Yet there is little if any fruit to show for your labor.

You moms know what I’m talking about. You prayer warriors who have drenched your floors in tears over the soul of a loved one know what I’m talking about. You wives who aren't giving up on your marriage. Those of you who are chasing a God-sized dream understand. The work God has called us to, while wonderful, can sometimes weary us until we feel we might break.

Jesus’ disciples understood too. They were out on the Sea of Galilee one night doing what they do...fishing. They were not newbies at this work; on the contrary, they were skilled and had experienced success in the past.  But this night was different. They caught nothing. Morning came and there was nothing to show for their work.

Then Jesus showed up.

“Friends, haven’t you any fish?” Jesus asked.

“No,” they answered.

He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish (John 21:1-6).

This account from the Bible highlights three principles we can apply to our lives.

1.  When we feel most at a loss is when Jesus is most likely to show up and show off. Note: We saw this principle last week, too, in my post about Mary Magdalene.

2.   God wants us to remain humble, diligent and patient in the work he has given us to do. When we don’t give up, he will abundantly bless our labor in his own way and in his own time.

3.  Nothing we do is wasted when we do life with God.

So keep on keeping on, my friend! Though weeping may last for the night, joy comes in the morning (Psalms 30:5). Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy (Psalms 126:5).

God is faithful to his word. Your songs of joy are being written through your songs of sorrow. Let’s tell our hearts today to keep beating with thankfulness for all the good God has already done. And be sure of this, my Chosen and Crowned friend, he will do it again! Praise him who is worthy of our praise!  

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Happy Wednesday after Easter! I hope your Resurrection Sunday was blessed! Easter reminds me that hope is not lost, that life can rise in dead places, that light can pierce the darkness and that Jesus reigns victorious over sin. This week I want to share a devotional I wrote about disappointment, despair and loneliness. It is a message I need and pray it will touch your heart as well. Love you! 

Disappointment. Despair. Loneliness. Mary Magdalene wept as she stooped by the empty tomb where her beloved Jesus had been buried just three days before. Someone had taken his body away! At least that’s what she thought. Jesus, the man who treated her with dignity and worth; the one who freed her from tormenting demons; the one she called Lord. She had put her trust in him and believed he was her promised Savior. But now Jesus was dead. The tomb was empty. And so was Mary’s heart.

Empty. We feel it when someone we love is ripped from the fabric of our lives. Disappointment. We feel it when what we had hoped for crumbles beneath us. Despair. We feel it when our faith fails. Tears fall from our eyes and we don’t understand. This isn’t how things were supposed to end, we say. We wonder if joy will ever be ours again.

Hopelessness must have overwhelmed Mary as she wept by the empty tomb that day. But in her despair, Jesus showed up. “Dear woman, why are you crying?” he asked her. As soon as Mary recognized him, she cried out with joy and desperately clung to him. Can you imagine this reunion? In an instant, Mary’s heart must have once again been filled with hope. Jesus, her Lord and Savior, was fully alive! What appeared at first to be disappointment was in fact a circumstance that was wholly in God’s hands. Never once did God abandon her. Never once did God break his promise or change his plan. Jesus was hers forever.

Friend, if your circumstance feels hopeless or your heart is overwhelmed with disappointment and despair, cry out for Jesus. He will come to your rescue. Never will he leave you or forsake you. Your circumstance is wholly in his hands. It is never as it appears to be. Cling to Jesus and watch him fulfill every one of his promises for you. He is fully alive. Jesus is forever yours.

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

This week, I’m excited to share with you a favorite Easter tradition I started with my family four years ago. I was a little nervous to do it because I thought my family would think it was weird. But then I remembered that my kids and husband have come to expect me to be weird, so I decided to forge ahead! Guess what…the kids loved it! And my husband has to go along with it now because he’s outnumbered.

The tradition is to share a Passover meal together. During the meal, we take turns reading about the Last Supper in Luke 22:7-30. If my kids are still paying attention, we read more, but usually we just talk about the rest of the events that happened that night and the days leading up to the crucifixion of Jesus. We also talk about how Passover started and that Jesus is our perfect Passover lamb (1 Corinthians 5:7). The explanation of the origin of Passover is in Exodus 12.

We also share communion together, which my husband leads. This. Is. AWESOME…and is one of my favorite parts of the whole thing. There’s nothing quite like a man who will step up to do something he’s uncomfortable doing because he knows how important it is to his wife! Little does he know, too, what an incredible example he is setting for his kids.

I digress.

Here’s my secret to the success of this tradition…

I keep it simple.

I’ve included a picture to show you our table. The most important foods I make sure to include are the unleavened bread and wine (grape juice). I confess that I bought flatbread instead of the traditional matzah bread because I wasn’t sure that my kids and hubby would eat the matzah. This year, though, I think I’m going to try the real thing! And my kids think it’s so totally cool to drink grape juice and pretend they’re drinking wine. Remember feeling that way when you were a kid?!

Along with the bread and “wine”, I incorporate some of the other traditional Passover foods like hard boiled eggs, romaine lettuce, walnuts and apples.

My kids love to turn off the lights and eat with only candle light. This makes them feel like they’re having a more authentic experience. After all, Jesus and his disciples didn’t have electricity. Never mind that so many other aspects of our Passover meal are not authentic, but the fun and memories we are creating are the real deal. And the meaningful discussions we share together about Jesus grow deeper with each passing year.

So what do you think? I’d love to know if you’ve done this with your family or would like to start this year. Maybe you have a unique tradition you’d like to share with me and the rest of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Do tell! I always love hearing from you!

Happy Easter! May it be a blessed one!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

I read a faith-filled declaration this week that I want to adopt as my go-to statement every time life tries to wrestle me to the ground.

My God is about to come through for me.

My God. My all-powerful, all-knowing, all-present God. The One who was before all things and stands victorious at the end of all things. The One who is working everything for my good. Healer. Restorer. Comforter. Refuge. Peace. Provider. The Great I Am.

My God is about to come through for me.

This is why I will choose to “consider it pure joy whenever I face trials of many kinds” (James 1:2). My trials position me to see a mighty working of my God. I will not walk around with my mind and eyes downcast, I will look up in great expectation.

When I’m tempted to give up, I will instead determine to persevere…

Because my God is about to come through for me.

When self-pity invites me to its party and life starts to feel hard and unfair, I will shout in its face…

My God is about to come through for me.

Jesus made it clear that in this life we will have trouble. A wise teacher said, “There are seasons when life and the enemy will be allowed to test your faith. When those times come will you remain steadfast or will the shallowness of your faith be revealed?”

I love the story, found in Matthew 14:22-32, about Jesus walking on the water to the boat-dwelling, storm-trapped disciples. This was an overwhelming and life-threatening situation for sure. If it were me in that boat, I would probably need a clean pair of underwear when I got to shore! The disciples were terrified. But Jesus spoke to them at once, “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”

When Jesus said, “I am here”, he literally was saying “the I Am is here”. We see this same name being used by God in the Old Testament when he was talking to Moses and wanted to remind Moses of his unchanging nature. “I Am” is the name by which God wished to be known and worshiped in Israel – the name that expressed his character as the dependable and faithful God who desires the full trust of his people (NIV text note, Exodus 3:14).  

When our faith is tested and life’s storms threaten to overtake us, Jesus is calling to us, “Don’t be afraid! The I Am is here. You can count on me. Let my faithfulness and promises strengthen you. Fix your eyes on me, not on the wind and waves. I am about to do the impossible in your life.”

Will you do something for me? I think it would be amazingly fun and inspiring to see a whole thread of comments below from God’s Chosen and Crowned declaring, “MY GOD IS ABOUT TO COME THROUGH FOR ME!” Will you declare it with me today by typing it out in all bold letters in the comment section below? If you want to get even crazier, share this post on social media which will boldly display the quote square. Make sure to include #ChosenAndCrowned so we can all find it. Have a faith-filled day, beautiful friend!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Hey gorgeous! How are you? Are you ready to go a little deeper with me again this week and talk about a fancy Christian term that will deepen your understanding of who you are as God’s Chosen and Crowned? Let me set up today’s teaching with a little story.

A few years ago, my family and I vacationed in the quaint town of Lancaster, Pennsylvania. While there, we visited a nearby community that boasted of their restored train station and locomotive. We got there just in time to hear the train whistle bellow and the engineer yell, “Aaaaall aboooooard!” We ran from the parking lot to the train as fast as our kids’ little legs could carry them and jumped on board the beautifully restored passenger car. It was like stepping back in time.

The open air car was decked out with leather seats, maroon walls and gold detailing. The engineer, dressed in his engineer hat and well-pressed uniform, welcomed each of us with a warm smile.

As the train pulled out of the station, our eyes feasted on the beauty and detail of this restored train. All the dirt and broken pieces had been stripped away. Great care had been taken to restore it to its original magnificence.

Magnificence. If we could step back in time before sin entered God's creation, we would see that magnificence was humankind’s reality. Sin marred creation's magnificence, but God had a plan to restore us.

Friend, God bought you, broken and stained, with the price of Jesus’ blood and put his Holy Spirit inside you. You now belong to him. He has set you apart from everyone else to accomplish a specific, holy purpose that is unique to you. Day by day, he is transforming you into his glorious image, which was his original design for you. He is molding and making you into the magnificent woman he created you to be.

This is called sanctification.

Here is my own paraphrasing of the New Compact Bible Dictionary’s definition:

To separate from the world and consecrate unto God. To sanctify anything is to declare that it belongs to God and has been set apart for a holy purpose. It is the means by which a believer is progressively transformed into the image of Christ or the process by which a life is made holy. Sanctification begins the moment we say “yes” to Christ and is completed when we see Christ face to face.

Second Corinthians 5:17 tells us that “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone, the new has come!”

Friend, out of your ashes God will bestow on you a crown of beauty. Out of your ruins and the devastated places of your life, God will restore you completely, even if those places have been devastated for generations. In place of your shame and disgrace, he will give you blessing and honor. He will bind up your broken heart and set you free from your darkness. He will pour out his favor on you in such abundance that your life will be a display of his splendor (Isaiah 61:1-7). Praise God for his goodness and mercy to his Chosen and Crowned!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

I want to talk about sin today. I know, super fun topic, right? I think I'd rather endure a trip to the gynecologist. Okay, maybe not.

But, I would be doing you a great disservice if I only wrote about things that made you feel good . We live in a culture that tells us that whatever feels right must be right, that whatever seems best for you is truly what’s best for you.

Our culture greatly deceives us.

The Bible says that the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God and that we should not deceive ourselves. “If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a ‘fool’ so that he may become wise” (1 Corinthians 3:18-19). Let’s push each other to become wise by God’s standards, shall we?

It’s a great honor to be God’s Chosen and Crowned, and there are unbelievable privileges we get to enjoy as his daughters; however, with this position comes great responsibility. We must make it our business to bring glory and honor to our God by practicing self-control over our attitudes, thoughts, words and actions.

Dear friend, I want more than anything to see you walking in the fullness of life God has planned for you, but if you are continuing down a path of destructive behaviors or thoughts, you are putting yourself once again in bondage.

God’s plan is for you to live free. His plan is that you would enjoy life with him, with others, and in the work he has given you to do. But, so often, we miss out because we continue in attitudes or behaviors that are contrary to God’s perfect plan for us.

So often we think we’re getting along just fine as long as we stay away from the “big” sins. You know, like murder, stealing, or adultery. Here’s the thing though, God doesn’t look at sin and call it big or little; he just calls it sin. And he wants us to have nothing to do with it. Things like unwholesome talk, gossip, using the Lord’s name in vain, unforgiveness, drunkenness, lust, pride, envy, jealousy. The list could go on.

God also tells us to deal with the idols in our life. These are things we give more of our time, money and attention to than we do to God. Idols can include things like food, work, social media, exercise, people, money, possessions, hobbies and television.

I’m challenging you today to take an inventory of your life. Ask God to show you if there is anything you’re doing or thinking that is dishonoring him and tripping you up on the path of abundant life he has blazed for you.

I have found that the best tool for opening my eyes is God’s Word. Through scripture, God helps us understand his good, pleasing, and perfect will for our lives. There is so much practical, easy-to-understand, life-application teaching in the New Testament. So, get your Bible out and start reading, my friend! Let the Holy Spirit do his thing. He is your counselor and teacher. As you read, ask him to open your eyes and teach your heart. May your ears be open to hear the life-giving whispers of God. If you feel the Holy Spirit convicting you of any sin in your life, simply admit it, face it, give it to God and ask for his forgiveness. Know that, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).  

Thanks for sticking it out with me today. It’s okay to deal with the yuck. Why? Because God cleanses us from it and then makes our crowns shine even brighter! Shine brightly today, my Chosen and Crowned friend!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Hello, my Chosen and Crowned sisters! I pray you are seeing God in your week and are taking some time to soak in his presence! If there’s one thing I know, it’s this – if we want to be strong in the roles God has placed us in, we must tear ourselves away from the pressure to be in constant motion. We must get determined about removing distractions and quieting ourselves before God.

We must get still.

You are probably familiar with the verse, “Be still, and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10).” But, I love the translation that says, “Cease striving and know that I am God” (New American Standard 1977).

Cease striving. How do we know when we’re striving? A good indication is when you feel like you are struggling, fighting or forcing a certain outcome by working just a little harder.

Striving is your flesh telling you to do just a little more. Striving says, “You’ve got this.”

Stillness is your flesh humbling itself before God. Stillness says, “God’s got this.”

Friend, your enemy, the devil, wants to see you exhausted, frustrated and too busy for God. He wants to put you in bondage to over-packed schedules, never ending to-do lists, and the pressure to be more and do more. The devil loves when you’re so stressed out that you cannot enjoy your kids, your husband, your job, or your life. Jesus warns us, “The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy” (John 10:10a).

I’m convinced that our striving is stealing our life from us. It’s stealing our joy of being a mom, a wife, and a daughter of God. And it’s limiting God from working mightily on our behalf and on behalf of those we love.

We must get still.

We must behold him, the Great I Am.

If we are to cease striving, this means we’re going to have to surrender the belief that the outcome depends on us. Over what things in your life are you finding yourself exhausted and stressed out? In whatever areas you’ve identified, God is calling you to trust him. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not depend on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

To “know” and “acknowledge” God means knowing and owning the fact that God is sovereign and does whatever he pleases. God is unchangeable in his nature, purposes, promises, and covenant. He is omnipotent (all-powerful) and is able to help you and deliver you, even at the last moment. He is omniscient (all-knowing) and knows your desires, your circumstances, your troubles. He is all-wise and does all things according to his perfect will. He makes all things work together for your good and is faithful to his word and promise. And although you may be hard pressed on every side, God will not allow you to be crushed. You will walk out victorious. Why?

Because, my beautiful friend, you are his Chosen and Crowned. Be still.

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Any day that I can work chocolate cake into my title is a good day, am I right? I'm glad you're with me this week, friend! I just started reading a book that is creating a fire so hot in my heart, it is burning away limitations I have placed on myself. Has this ever happened to you? I love when this happens because as humans, we put so many limitations on ourselves that we render ourselves weak or ineffective for kingdom work.

But God wants to open our eyes to truth that leads to freedom and empowerment. He has given us authority as his children and wants us to use that to be a mighty force for him on this earth.

God has given us so much “in Christ”. Today I want to talk a little about the Holy Spirit, the third person of the Trinity. When you enter into a relationship with God through Jesus Christ, God changes you at your core by placing within you his Holy Spirit. Do you want to hear something that will blow your mind?

You have the same Holy Spirit living in you who also lived in Jesus and empowered him during his time on earth. If your mind is not beginning to blow after reading that statement, go back and read it again. Take a minute to digest it. I’ll wait.

Okay, I’m starting to detect at least a little bit of smoke, so we can continue.

Through the power of the Holy Spirit, Jesus healed the sick, cast out demons, brought people back to life, made the deaf hear, the blind see and the lame walk. Not only this, but when Jesus was dead and buried, the Holy Spirit brought him fully back to life. This same Spirit power is in you and me, yet there are times we can’t even take authority and say no to a piece of chocolate cake!

Friend, everything the Holy Spirit was to Jesus, he can be for you. But you must know that he’s there and that he is asking you to cooperate with him to work in the power, authority and giftings God has given you.

Jesus tells us in John 14:12, “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.”

Friend, Jesus called you and equipped you to carry out God’s work on earth. That’s. Why. You. Exist. God created you to be a mighty force and to be in sweet relationship with himself.

Here’s a quick illustration to help you understand a bit about the Holy Spirit. Think about having an IV in your arm. You are sick and need something put directly into your veins to become healthy. If you need fluid, the IV bag will give you fluid. If you need pain meds, the bag will give you pain meds. If you are nauseous, the IV will give you anti-nausea medicine. Pretty much any nourishment you need can come through the IV.

That’s how the Holy Spirit works. God knows your heart is sick, weak and in need of him, so he puts the Holy Spirit (like the IV) inside you to administer exactly what you need, in just the right amount and at just the right time to be a strong, healthy woman who does extraordinary thing for God.

What do you need today, woman of God? Strength? Courage? Comfort? Wisdom? Hope? Peace? Faith? Discernment? Power? Grace? Mercy? Whatever it is, if it is in accordance with God’s will, the Holy Spirit will give it to you.

But, you have to ask.

So what are you waiting for? Ask him! And have a power-filled day!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Friend, what hard thing are you facing this week? Have you noticed how hard things get dropped in your lap without warning or invitation?

The doctor delivers an unpromising health diagnosis. Another wall gets erected between you and that person you love. You bury someone so precious to you. Another bill demands money you don’t have. Your spouse leaves or your child gets sick.

Although hard things get dropped in our lap, we tend to pick them up and tuck them deep within us, don’t we? There, in the darkness, we water it with worry. We spend energy growing the worry into fear or overwhelming grief. Fear and grief blossom and further block our view of the light we once enjoyed. Their fruit becomes so heavy that our heart, mind and limbs can barely sustain its weight.

Oh, sweet friend, lift up your weary head. As a Chosen and Crowned daughter of the King, what you see is not your reality. Will you do something for me? You know that hard thing? Take it out from where you’ve tucked it inside. Put it back in your hands. Hold it out in front of you so you can see it.  Now open your hands.

This is where you must make a choice.

You can either release it into the hands of the One who has authority over the hard thing? Or you can close your fingers back around it and tuck it deep inside?

I wish I could see your hands right now. It’s scary right?! If you tuck it back inside, strangely, it somehow feels safer… like you have some control over it. And if you let it go, you feel vulnerable…like you’re opening yourself up to further disappointment or more hurt.

Let me ask you this? Will you trust God with your hard thing today? When you get brave enough to release it, you are placing it in the hands of Someone who loves you endlessly, Someone who has promised you a bright future, Someone who died so you could live free.

So I’m asking you to get your brave on today. What would happen if you stopped coddling your fear and instead made room for faith? What would happen if you fixed your eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen?

You’d begin breathing again. You’d begin living again. That hard thing doesn’t get the final word. God does. Press yourself into his heart today instead of allowing that hard thing to press on you. You are precious to him! Now open your hand and declare these words:

“I am hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. Therefore I will not lose heart. Though outwardly I am wasting away, inwardly I am being renewed day by day. For my light and momentary troubles are achieving for me an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So I fix my eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:7-9; 16-18).

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

"Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." lMatthew 11:28

Welcome back, Chosen and Crowned sisters! Last week, we talked about how you are part of the greatest love story ever told. If you missed it, click here. Since then, you and I have stepped through another week’s worth of that story. So let me ask you, how’s your week been?

Do you feel like you’re walking through a happily-ever-after story?

If your week has been anything like mine, your answer would be a big fat no! I'm so glad my feelings are not always an indicator of reality.

Maybe you’ve had people say some pretty nasty things to you. Maybe you’ve watched someone you love break down in tears. Maybe you broke down in tears. Sometimes life is so hard, it literally becomes hard to breathe. We cry out to hear whispers of God’s promises, but they feel lost in the fog of discouragement.

Sweet friend, take heart. Your happily-ever-after is coming. I promise. But until you walk onto those final pages, you must walk through chapters filled with hard things.

Those hard things will either destroy you or make you stronger. You get to choose. And here’s what I love about being Chosen and Crowned daughters of the King, we don’t have to weather the storms alone. We belong to the One who commands the wind and the waves. God has already written the end of the story, and guess what, he wins. He wins over the wind and waves of sickness, debt, shame, guilt, addiction, abandonment.

You name it. He wins.

Beautiful friend, let me cup your sweet face in my hand and whisper these words…you are His. He loves you and will never leave you. You cannot be separated from his love. Whatever you’re trying to carry on your own today, lay it down. Jesus wants to give you rest.

As you step through the pages of this next week, I want to leave you with some encouragement. The words are so powerful, I wish I could claim to have written them myself, but they are the words a friend of mine posted on facebook. 

May God open your eyes to see beyond the obstacles and through the storm so you can envision His next place of promise for you. May your doubts, worries, and fears take a back seat to faith, hope, and love. In fact, may others look up from their own storm because of how you trust God in yours. You are mighty in battle because God is mighty in you! Don't give up hope! Don't coddle your fears. Cling to the promises of God and walk forward in faith. Have a brave and courageous day.

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Did you know that when you woke up this morning, you stepped onto a brand new page of the greatest love story ever told? That’s right! As you continue studying about who you are “in Christ”, know that your steps have been established by an author who loves you. You were chosen and carefully created by him and for him.

Without you, his story would not be complete.

His story is about a King and his beloved bride. The bride came under a terrible curse of sin which severed their relationship completely. So the King set into motion a plan to save her. The only way the curse could be broken was if the King would sacrifice his beloved Son. The King loved his bride with a greater love than anyone had ever known, so he knew his Son would have to die. The Son was willing because he knew how much his Father loved the bride, and he too, loved her with all his heart.

The people stripped the Son of his clothes and flogged him. They twisted together a crown of thorns and pushed it through the skin of his head. They mocked and spat on him. They beat him until he was unrecognizable. Finally, they pounded nails through his hands and feet and hung him on a cross to die. Darkness came over all the land.

The final blow came when the sins of all the people were cast onto him. When this happened, the King could not look at his beloved Son. The Son cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” He cried out once more in a loud voice and then gave up his spirit.

The earth had never known such darkness.

The Son was buried and those who loved the King and his Son wept bitterly.

A first-time reader of this story may think the story ends here, but not so! Three days later, word came that the Son was alive! The curse on the bride was broken!

But…

…there was one more thing that had to happen for the bride to be saved from eternal death. She must accept the fact that the King’s Son died to save her. She must choose to give up her old, cursed life and surrender herself to the King and his Son.

Would she trust his plan to save her?

Could she grasp how much he loved her?

Would she accept his gift of a new, abundant, joy-filled life?

If so, her spirit would become immortal. She would become his Chosen and Crowned. She would become co-heirs with the Son and share in his great inheritance.

If she would just say yes…

Sweet friend, you are the bride with the dreaded curse of death. Have you said yes to the King? If so, praise God, the curse has been broken. You are a new creation and have a new life because the Son died for you.

If not, tell God right now, in your own words, that you need him to save you from your sin and be Lord of your life. You can start a brand new life with God today. Send me a little note and I would love to talk more about this new life with you and answer any questions you might have. Make sure, too, that you come back next week!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

I promise you…this will change your life. How quickly do you respond to this kind of promise? For me, it took about two years. When I was in my twenties, I watched a well-known Bible teacher almost every day on television. She would often promise me that if I would learn about who I was “in Christ” that it would literally change my life forever. She then put out a challenge. I was to look up every reference in the Bible that used “in Christ” and ask God to open my mind to understand what his Word said about my true identity.

What does “in Christ” even mean? I had heard this phrase a thousand times growing up in the church, but I honestly had no clue what it meant. If you’re also wondering, I have since figured it out, so let me tell you! Basically, it refers to who you really are at your core because Christ died for you. It’s your true identity. It’s the way God sees you. It’s an identity that cannot be shaken by your successes or failures. It cannot be shaken by what others think of you or the labels they have put on you. It’s who you are. It’s a very real, but hidden identity that will only be found as you draw closer to God. The Bible says that your life is hidden “in Christ”, so the more you seek him, the more you will find of him. And the more you find of him, the more you will find of yourself. Not sure if that makes sense or not, but please feel free to ask me questions in the comment section!

So, when we seek out our identity and happiness in jobs, people and material items, we will eventually reach a point of unrest and disappointment. We will continue to struggle with insecurity and unfulfilled longings because all of those things change with the ebb and flow of life’s circumstances. Only God stays the same. Only “in Christ” will we find a firm foundation for our lives and an unshakeable declaration of our identity.

To say that this Bible teacher’s challenge changed my life would be an understatement. Chosen and Crowned was born out of the affect it had on my heart.

Sweet friend, before time began, God chose you to be his. When you give your life to Christ, you become his Chosen and Crowned daughter. He bestows a crown of beauty and life on you that can never be taken away. He begins the process of restoring you from the inside out. God says that your life will become a display of his splendor!  

Stay with me during this blog series as I ask God to help me unwrap this amazing gift he has given us “in Christ”.  Pull up a chair next to me. We’ll peel away the wrapping one layer at a time. As you commit to this challenge, you will feel God peeling away your layers of insecurity, shame and guilt so that your true identity will be revealed. It will be a gift unlike anything you’ve ever received!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Psalm 143:8

The blaring sound coming from my alarm clock told me it was a new day, but my heart reminded me that I was still stuck in yesterday’s battle. I reached my arm out from beneath the warm covers and smacked the snooze alarm. Was it morning already?

Just several hours before, words had been spewed on me. Careless words that brought a flood of tears and threatened to steal my joy.  

I sat on the edge of my bed determined. No one and no thing would be stealing my joy today. I slid my feet into fuzzy slippers then wrapped my robe tightly around myself.  As was my morning routine, I tip-toed down the stairs and into the kitchen to brew a pot of coffee. My kids were still asleep; the sun had not yet risen. This was my time. My time to meet with the One who loves me. My time to offer up my wounded heart and stand at the battle line of this new day. I picked up my sword, which is my Bible, the very Word of God and opened it to the book of Psalms where I knew my pain could find solace. Before I could fight the battles that this day would surely bring, I needed God to strengthen my weary heart.

“Answer me quickly, Lord. My spirit fails. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you” (Psalm 143:8).

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love. Unfailing love is perfect love. Perfect love casts out all fear.  Perfect love says you are enough. You are loved. You are my masterpiece. You have purpose. You have been set apart not set aside.

Dear friend, isn’t it amazing that we can meet with the God of this universe first thing in the morning, bedhead and all, and let his perfect love fill us? When we make room in our busy schedules to draw near to God, he will draw near to us. He will strengthen us for the battle. As his chosen and crowned daughters, we are not victims, we are victors. Who we are has been declared. No circumstance or person can alter that. Has someone spewed careless words on you? God declares that you are precious. Do you feel weak? God declares that you will soar with wings as eagles.

Don’t let the careless words of man drown out the care-full declarations of God. Beloved, you are his Chosen and Crowned. 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Happy New Year, Chosen and Crowned sisters! It feels so good to be back! This is our year to shine! I am currently writing to you from my winter “office” which is the floor space directly in front of the fireplace. Its heat is soaking through my yoga pants, new fuzzy sweatshirt and slipper socks and making me unimaginably happy. I so wish you were here with me! I’d offer you a hot drink and slipper socks of your own! I am all set to press in to God’s heart and ask him to give me the words that will press in to your heart. An interesting thing happened to me last week…

I was blindsided with envy over another woman’s success.

She had gifts and talents similar to mine. She had a calling similar to mine. Similar in so many ways, yet her success set her vastly apart in the arena where I so desperately wanted to shine. I silently resented her, yet longed to be her. I dug my toes into the sands of self-pity and thought about jumping into the ocean of women who had given up on a dream. I allowed myself to stare at that ocean for a little while. I watched as the women were tossed and thrown about by the waves of life. Sometimes those waves knocked them into each other, causing them to shout bitter and hurtful words to one another. Another wave pulled a woman under. She resurfaced gasping for air. None of the other women seemed to notice. They were too focused on themselves. I slowly backed away and could hear Someone calling me by name. He called me to pull my toes out of the shifting sands. He drew my eyes away from the drowning waves. And he invited me to stand up on the Rock.

He turned my ear to hear his voice.

“You, O Daughter, whom I have chosen. I took you from the ends of the earth; from its farthest corners I called you. I created you for my glory. I formed you with my own hands. I said, ‘You are my servant.’ I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear; do not be dismayed, for I am your God” (Isaiah 41:8-10a; 43:7).

He reminded me who I am and Whose I am.

I am his chosen and crowned. My life is destined to bring him glory. This truth has been declared!

Dear friend, we cannot allow the truth of our calling to be compromised by the lies of comparison. Another woman’s success does not change God’s eternal and perfect plan. Over the next several weeks, my posts will dig in to who God says we are as his precious Chosen and Crowned daughters. Knowing who we are in Christ is a game changer. It builds unshakeable God-confidence, which is vastly different from self-confidence which changes like shifting sands.

And that woman who you resent and admire all at the same time? You are called to love her and cheer her on! Yes, I’m preaching to myself.  

Here’s what I’m asking you to do today. Invite that amazing woman in your life to join the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Let’s champion each other towards greatness instead of competing with one another. We are all in this Kingdom work together and we must stay united! I can’t wait to see what God is going to do with his Chosen and Crowned in 2016!  

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Christmas is Christ. He came from Heaven you see.
His plan was to Redeem you and me.
He intentionally left Heaven to come to earth
Submitting fully to God to give us new eternal birth.
He took off His robes of royalty
And laid in a lowly manger clothed in humanity.
Jesus is the Anointed Son, the Holy One
Sent by Father God to bring Salvation to everyone.

Christmas is a day that God has set apart
To ask yourself the question
Have I invited Jesus into my heart?
Is He the center of your world
And have you made Him your Redeemer and Lord?

MERRY CHRISTMAS! See you in 2016! Have a wonderful and blessed holiday with your family! Can't wait to see all your pictures on facebook!

I love hanging out with wise moms. I watch them, learn from them and am inspired by them. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been hanging out with Mary, Jesus’ mom, in the pages of Luke, chapters 1 and 2. She is a brave, wise, and pretty much amazing woman in every way. So what can you and I learn from Mary that will strengthen us in our high calling as moms?

There is a beautiful verse tucked into the story of Jesus’ birth that is worth our attention, “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart” (Luke 2:19).

What “things” did Mary treasure and ponder? She dwelled on all the wonderful things that were taught and told to her about the precious baby boy she held in her arms. This boy was the Son of God, Prince of Peace, Immanuel, the Messiah, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father. As Mary raised Jesus, she never lost sight of the amazing truths she had been told about Jesus.

Mary was like you and me in many ways. She had family, house and work obligations. There were demands on her time and energy. Her to-do list was endless. Mary could have easily allowed the busyness of life to distract her from the beauty of motherhood. But Mary intentionally treasured up truth about her child and pondered it in her heart.

Sweet friend, motherhood is a gift! Yet how often do we allow that gift to be mutilated by the challenges of parenting and life? How often do we rush from one commitment to the next, never slowing down long enough to look at our children the way God looks at them. They have been created by God and for God. They have been set apart for an extraordinary purpose. And you and I get to partner with God in raising them to walk in their God-given callings! That is nothing short of extraordinary.

Let us not forget these truths, but believe and treasure up each word!

This Christmas, dare to say no to society’s pressures to be all things to all people. Dare to say yes to simplicity, to margin, to family. God has called you to be a mom. Protect this gift that has been given to you. Take time to look into your child’s eyes and ponder what has been declared about them. Let those truths fill you with wonder at how God will use them to build his kingdom. Teach your children about the One whom Mary held in her arms and about the amazing things God spoke over them. Because of Jesus, you and your family have a future full of hope and goodness. Because of Jesus, you and your family are free to walk the path that has been blazed for you by God.

Sweet friend, I’m praying for you this Christmas season. Will you pray for me, too? Let’s ask God to help us enjoy this sacred holiday with our families and truly celebrate being a mom.

Want to know some of the extraordinary things God has declared about your child? Here is a long list! You may enjoy saving them and reading through just a few every day. Your heart will swell with love as you insert your child's name into each one. What a great God we serve!

God knows everything about (insert child’s name) and is familiar with all his/her ways, so when I need help parenting him/her, I can go to God for wisdom and direction. God is the Owner’s Manual for my child. 

God knows when (insert child’s name) sits down and when he/she rises up.  So, when he/she reaches the age when I can’t be with him/her all the time, I can know that God never takes His loving eyes off (insert child’s name).  He is my child’s ultimate care-taker.

(Insert child’s name) was made in God’s image.  How perfectly PERFECT!!

Because of God, (insert child’s name) lives and moves and has his/her being.  (Insert child’s name) whole life is found in Christ.  I can praise God for his/her very breath, his/her non-stop energy, and his/her creativity.

(Insert child’s name) is a child of Almighty God, King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  He/she is a prince/princess in the Kingdom of God!  

God knew (insert child’s name) before he/she was even conceived!  (Insert child’s name) was chosen by God when He planned creation!  My child has a divine destiny!

All the days of (insert child’s name) life are written in God’s story book.  God is at the beginning, the end and every page in between.  I can trust God with every detail of (insert child’s name) life.

(Insert child’s name) was born at the exact right time and in the exact right location in history to fulfill a specific God-given purpose in His grand story.  (Insert child’s name) has a grand purpose!

(Insert child’s name) is awesome-ly and wonderfully made.  Each cell of his/her body was carefully crafted together by the hands of a Skilled Artist.  When kids begin to tease my child, I can tell him/her that it is a lie.  I can pray with (insert child’s name) and speak out loud God’s truth about him/her over and over until it drowns out the voices around him/her. (Insert child’s name)  WILL know who he/she is in Christ!

When (insert child’s name) is misunderstood, mistreated and cast out because of Jesus, I can know that when he/she shares in Christ’s sufferings, God will allow him/her to also share in His glory..

(Insert child’s name) was not created by a distant and angry God, but by the one true God who is the complete expression of love.  God longs to lavish His extraordinary love on (insert child’s name), not because of anything (insert child’s name)did, but just because he/she is His.

God offers more to (insert child’s name) than I or his/her father ever could because God is the perfect parent! Every good and perfect gift comes from His hand.  (Insert child’s name) is abundantly blessed!

God is (insert child’s name) Provider.  God will meet all his/her needs.  I can trust God to take care of (insert child’s name).

God has a plan for (child’s name) future.  One that is full of hope, blessing and favor.

(Child’s name) is loved with such a great and everlasting love...a love so high and wide and long and deep that it is impossible for the human mind to fully grasp.

God’s thoughts toward (child’s name) are as countless as the sand on the seashore. God NEVER stops thinking about (child’s name).

God rejoices over (child’s name) with singing!  All of heaven gets to hear God sing about my child!  How cool is that!

God will never stop doing good to (insert child’s name). And when God says never, he means NEVER!

(Child’s name) is God’s treasured possession.  So valuable, so rare, so precious.

God desires to establish (child’s name).  He desires to make (child’s name) spiritual roots grow down  deep and strong; to grow him/her up into a man/woman of excellence who has great character, confidence, courage and compassion.

God wants to show (child’s name) great and marvelous things!  How wonderful are Your works, O God!

When (child’s name) seeks God with all his/her heart, mind, soul and strength, God promises that (child’s name) will find Him!  In fact, God is waiting and wanting to be found by (child’s name) so He can come into his/her life and they can have a grand time together!

God promises that when (child’s name) delights in Him, He will give (child’s name) the desires of his/her heart, for it is God who gave him/her those desires.

God is able to do immeasurably more for (child’s name) than all I can ask or imagine.

God is (child’s name) greatest encourager.  I can help my child hear God’s encouragement by teaching him/her God’s Word.

God is (child’s name) Comforter in ALL his/her troubles.  When he/she is broken hearted, God is close to him/her.  As a shepherd carries a lamb, God carries (child’s name) close to His heart.  God will wipe away every tear from his/her eyes and one day will take away all the pain he/she has suffered on this earth.

God is (child’s name) Heavenly Father and God loves him/her even as He loves His Son, Jesus.  In Jesus, God’s love for (child’s name) is revealed. God is not counting (child’s name) sins.  He sent His one and only son, Jesus to die on a cross so that (child’s name) could be forgiven, enabling him/her to have a relationship with God and live forever with Him in eternal paradise.  Praise God this ultimate expression of love.  It is so great that words cannot fully express its magnificence. Because of Christ, my child is free from sin’s bondage and eternal death.

When (child’s name) receives the gift of Jesus, he/she receives God.  And, NOTHING will ever separate him/her from God’s love again.  God and the angels in heaven will throw a party so grand, that reality show producers would be knocking down heaven’s doors to display its grandeur.  

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”

Proverbs 3:5-6

Did you ever wonder what it must have been like to be in the stable when the Son of God let out his first cry? I paused from my Christmas decorating to ponder that thought and watch my eight and ten-year-old daughters unwrap the nativity pieces. As they lifted each delicate, hand-painted figurine from its brown paper wrapping, their eyes widened with excitement. They carefully set each one in place. And when the manger scene was complete, they sat down in front of it and stared. It was as if they, too, had been invited to stop their activity, to come to the stable, and behold the glory of the Babe in the manger. For a minute, their busyness ceased. Their excited, little girl chatter stopped. And they were swept up, for just a moment, in the beauty and wonder of Christmas.

Later that night, after everyone was tucked into bed and the house was quiet, I went back to the manger scene, sat down in front of it and stared.  Mary cradled baby Jesus in her arms. Joseph gazed adoringly. The shepherds gathered quietly. Each had been invited to stop their activity and simply behold the glory of the Babe in the manger.  

The months leading up to this night had been anything but wonderful for Mary. She and Joseph were planning their wedding when God sent the angel, Gabriel, to her. He let Mary know that if she would accept God’s plan for her, she would become pregnant by the Holy Spirit, and the child in her womb would be the very Son of God. To say that Mary was confused and disturbed would be an understatement. After all, no one had ever become pregnant by the Holy Spirit! Would Joseph and the people in her village believer her? For a young, unmarried girl to become pregnant in her day meant sure disaster! Joseph, along with every other person in Nazareth, could reject her.  She could be publicly shamed or even killed.

Peace over God’s plan for her seemed impossible. Yet she trusted God in spite of her fears. For the next nine months, God would require Mary to trust him for her relationship with Joseph, for their safety, and for the life of this baby that was growing in her womb.  Life for Mary was hard. The struggle was real. The tears were many. The uncertainties felt overwhelming.

Yet on that first Christmas night, Mary was invited to rest from her fears. To rest from her struggle. And behold the glory of the Babe in the manger.

Sweet friend, if life feels hard for you right now. If the struggle is real and your tears are many, God is inviting you this moment to rest in him and trust him. Every detail of your situation is in his hands. So come to the manger, if only for a moment, and behold his Glory. He is Christ the Lord. Hope for you. Hope for me. Hope for this world.

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Every year I anticipate its arrival in my mailbox. This weekend, the thing I’ve anxiously been waiting for finally arrived. Our advent calendar and stories! This year, the series is titled “Tales of Christmas Past” and is published in Thriving Family magazine by Focus on the Family. I’ll post the link below so you can download your very own for free today!

Tonight, my family of five will gather around our wooden kitchen table that has been scratched and marked by years of sharing meals, crafts and homework. We will eat some potato soup and when our bellies are full, we will linger just a little longer to hear a Tale of Christmas Past. The children will open their Bibles and take turns reading a few verses from scripture. I will marvel, maybe a little more than they, at the beauty of God’s Word. I will treasure the moments when their eyes get just a little brighter as a new truth from the Christmas story sparks in their heart. It will be wonderful.

And before I become guilty of painting too perfect of a picture, I will tell you that there will also be fighting over who gets to read which Bible verses. There most likely will even be some weeping and gnashing of teeth over who gets to cut out a picture on the advent calendar. There will be some nights we have to miss because of other obligations. But that’s okay. This is real life.

And we will celebrate!

If someone were to ask me how I celebrate being a mom during the Christmas season, this advent activity would be near the top of my list. It is simple and unrushed. It is all about the anticipation of the Messiah's birth. My greatest joy as a mom is that I get to teach my kids about the eternal hope and gift found in Jesus Christ.

Nothing else is more worthy of my time and energy. Nothing.

If my kids have Jesus, they have everything. If they don’t have Jesus, they have nothing. Truly. Do we grasp the significance of that truth?

All the toys and treats…everything…will fade away. But the gift of life through Jesus Christ, that little babe in the manger, will last forever. Truly, there is no greater gift I can give my kids this Christmas.

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace" (Isaiah 6:9).

Mom friend, how does your family make room for Jesus during the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season? I’d love to know! Paint me a magical picture with words, and humor me with the weeping-and-gnashing-of-teeth details that make your family as real as mine! Let the Christmas celebrations begin!

As promised, here is the link for the free, downloadable “Tales of Christmas” advent calendar and activities: http://www.thrivingfamily.com/advent

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Turkey, Dysfunctional Families and Joy

I bet you’re busy today cooking, cleaning or packing. Tomorrow, you will either host or visit the beautiful and dysfunctional group known as family. As you pull up a chair at the table and pass the turkey, what thoughts will pass through your mind? 

Has your family endured trouble this past year? Is the heart ache of death, divorce, sickness, or broken relationships within the family threatening your joy of the holiday? What should we do then with the Bible verse that says, “When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy” (James 1:2)? Will tomorrow be an opportunity for great joy or great discouragement? Like it or not, if your family has suffered many trials this past year, like mine has, we are obligated, as Chosen and Crowned daughters of the King, to pursue joy tomorrow. Stay with me for just a moment as we look into this some more.

I found a man in the Bible, named Paul, who endured troubles of every kind. He cited examples like working to exhaustion, battling sickness, enduring sleepless nights, and facing angry mobs. I thought that kind of sounded similar to what my family experienced this past year, so I kept reading.  Though Paul endured many ongoing trials, he lived out his “opportunities for great joy”. He chose not to focus on his circumstances, but to focus on how he acted in the midst of his circumstances. He chose to let his trials refine him, not wreck him.

He looked at trials as joyful opportunities to:

1. Shine brightly for Jesus. Paul knew that others were watching how he lived out his faith. Paul chose not to complain or argue. He held firmly to God’s promises which brought hope and life into his dark trials. He found joy in that hope. Mom friend, not only are others watching you; your kids are watching you. Does your life reflect the power of God at work inside you? In the midst of your frustration and exhaustion, take a deep breath and focus on Jesus. He is ready and willing to pour out His grace on you so you are able to act like Him. When you act like Christ in a difficult situation, joy will be yours.

2. Be like Christ. Christ came to earth as a servant. Paul found joy walking in Christ’s footsteps as a servant bringing Good News. Jesus knew what it was to suffer. Because of Christ’s great love for us, Jesus humbled Himself in obedience to God, gave up His divine privileges, and took the position of a slave.  For the joy set before Him, which was a relationship with us, Jesus endured the cross. Friend, when you are with your family tomorrow, be humble and gentle. You are a servant of the Good News of Christ’s love. When you take on this humble position out of obedience to God, you will be blessed and lifted up by the One who appointed you. Be sure of this, joy has been set before you. Pursue it!

3. Press on towards the goal. Paul knew there was a rich heavenly reward waiting for him at the end of his life here on earth. Holding onto that eternal perspective helped him endure his trials. He said, “I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us (Phil. 3:13). Chosen and Crowned friend, you have a rich reward waiting for you in heaven. To run your race with joy, you must train with the Ultimate Coach. As you prepare for tomorrow, meet with God today. Let His words penetrate your heart. Although there will be pain along the way, there will be much opportunity for joy. Look for it!

While we long to be released from trials, we can have joy knowing that God will use those trials to refine us and not wreck us. But we must cooperate with him. Trust in him with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. God has given you everything you need. Therefore, sweet friend, work hard to prove that you really are among those God has called and chosen. Make every effort to live a life of love and self-control. Then God will give you a grand entrance into the eternal Kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (2 Peter 1: 3-11). Now that is an opportunity for joy!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

As a speaker and blogger, I confess that I feel pressured to impart some kind of wisdom, some kind of mothering expertise that will launch you forward into mothering greatness. And since our focus is on celebrating being a mom during the holidays, it seems that an appropriate theme for my musings would be this question: How do we teach our children to be compassionate?

So I sat down with my thoughts and began typing. I typed. Then deleted. Typed again. Then deleted again. And came to this brilliant conclusion. Are your ready for this?

I have no idea how to teach my kids to be compassionate! None! Zero! Zip! Zilch! I’m so sorry to disappoint.

But through my writing attempts, I realized why I can’t teach it. Compassion is not a product of good teaching. It is so often a product of brokenness. I wish there was another way, but truly, compassion is something beautiful that rises from our ashes.

Think about it. When do you first remember feeling compassion?

For me, it was after I was rejected and bullied in middle school. Out of my brokenness rose a girl who was a friend to the friendless. Compassion grew again in high school when I watched my best friend get knocked to the ground by mental illness. Out of my ashes rose a young woman who understood how mental illness is a cruel thief of life. As an adult, when the doctor told me I might never be able to have a baby, and then later when I thought my marriage might shatter into a million pieces, the cracks of my brokenness cut so deep I feared I might never recover. But compassion rose.

I stand before you today a broken woman. But look how I shine!

You see, I have a mom who has always pointed me towards the Light. She showed me that cracks allow God’s light to flood in. And where God pours in his mercy and grace, darkness cannot remain. Because I have received comfort from him, I am now able to comfort others.

Compassion. It’s a beautiful thing that rises from the ashes.

I guess that’s why I so badly wanted to write words that sounded pretty and made you smile. Because compassion is beautiful. But it so often starts with a mess.

And that’s why we can’t teach our children to be compassionate. We can only point them towards the Light. Yes, it’s good to do outreach projects with them. It’s good to pray with them for those who are hurting. But compassion will ultimately take root and grow from their own broken experiences. When tears are streaming down their face and their heart is in pieces, it will be our job to show them how the cracks allow God’s light to flood in. And as God pours out his comfort on them, compassion will rise.

So as we celebrate being a mom during the holiday season, let’s celebrate that Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. Praise Him who has called us out of the darkness and into his wonderful light. 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Here we are at the finish line! We made it! Of course, we know the real finish line is heaven, but we have prayed down some amazing things on our marriages, haven’t we?! Would you post a quick comment below or on facebook and let me know how Wife Army ’15 impacted you the most?

For me, it was my heart that was impacted the most. Praying the very words of God stirred up my faith! When I felt discouraged, praying gave me hope. When I wanted to spew poisonous words onto my husband, praying reminded me to hold my tongue. When offense threatened my heart, God’s words reminded me to love deeply, communicate bravely, and forgive fully.

This journey was about making imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. Friends, we talked about the messy places of marriage, instead of hiding shamefully under them. We bravely lifted our ashes to God. Now we get to watch beauty rise. Rise! God is breathing new life into the places that were dead. It’s nothing less than a miracle. 

Thank you. Thank you for journeying with me, warrior friend. The crown on your head is radiant.

So where do we go from here? Let’s rest a little and have some fun. After all, the holidays are upon us! My daughters received an American Girl Doll catalog in the mail yesterday. My first mistake was actually showing it to them. My second mistake was allowing them to study every page with highlighters in hand. Did you know that a bed for one of those dolls is $96?! When my daughter asked if I would buy that for her for Christmas, my response was this…Um, no. Sweetie, your precious doll will have to continue sharing a bed with you. I don’t care if all your friend’s dolls have their own bed, yours will not.  I know. It’s a hard life.

Oh, Lordy! So many character-building opportunities come this time of year for both moms and children! Thankfulness. Compassion. Hope. Joy. Giving. Let’s do life together and talk about some of these themes. Let’s share in the laughter and joys of being a mom. Maybe we’ll even be brave and talk about the hard things our hearts deal with over the holidays. What are some of the hard things your heart struggles with? What do you most look forward to? I’d really love to hear from you. It will help me as we forge ahead together in our Chosen and Crowned tribe. I hope you are beginning to sense that you have a place here.

I plan to write one blog post a week and post it on Wednesdays. If you’re not connected with me on facebook, you can find me under Anna Frye and also Chosen and Crowned Ministries. I will post more frequently there with pictures and fun Thanksgiving and Christmas ideas. If you are a Pinterest-loving mama and have creative things you do with your kids, send your ideas to me at anna@ChosenAndCrowned.com! Also, send me your service and outreach ideas you use to teach your kids about giving and compassion. Let’s have some fun! 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog

Welcome back to Week 3 of Wife Army ‘15! There is no formal blog today, but I wanted to give you an Action Point, our week's Prayer Point, a scripture-based encouragement and a Scripture Prayer for your husband’s heart. 

Scripture Encouragement

I appeal to you, my dear Chosen and Crowned friend. Please, because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreements with your husband. If you cannot work it out between the two of you, seek help from a Christ-following friend, pastor or counselor. If your husband is not willing to seek outside help, be brave and go alone. Do not let destructive patterns go on any longer. There is work to be done in God’s kingdom, and God needs you strong and healthy!

As you face trials and storms in your marriage, know that you can always be full of joy in the Lord. No one can steal your joy. No one. Know today that joy is rightfully yours as a Chosen and Crowned daughter of God. You can only lose your joy if you allow someone or something to steal it from you. Here is how you hold tightly to joy:

Don’t worry about anything. Worrying is fruitless and has no power to change your circumstances. It is a joy stealer. Instead, keep praying about everything! Prayer powerfully moves God’s fingers to mold, press and shape your heart, your husband’s heart and your marriage into a breath-taking masterpiece. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything you can understand. His peace will be a shield over your heart and mind as you continue to press forward. You can persevere, my friend. You can. You are a warrior. Stop wallowing in worry and keep fighting in prayer for your marriage.

And now, dear friend, one final thing. Remember that life is found in truth. So fix your thoughts on what is true. Seek and pursue truth. Fix your eyes on Jesus who is Truth. Seek and pursue him. Keep putting into practice all you have learned and received. Then the God of peace will be with you. May God abundantly bless you, your husband and your marriage as you continue to follow hard after him. Make sure you come back tomorrow! I’ll have a few final words to close out Wife Army ’15 and an invitation for a new adventure together!

– Anna Frye, based on Philippians 4:2-9; written for Wife Army ‘15

Prayer Point 3: Press on in prayer and in spiritual training to take hold of that which Christ took hold of you.

Action Point: Write Philippians 4:6-7 on a dry erase board or notecard, and put it in a place where you will see it often. Meditate on it and pray it next time you are tempted to worry about the things you are facing in marriage.

Scripture Prayer

God, forgive me when I succumb to worrying, instead of praying. Your word tells me to tell you what I need. Lord, I humbly bring my needs to you now. (Tell God what you need for your heart and your marriage.)

I thank you for all you have already done and for all you are doing now. I thank you for the things I can see and for the things I cannot yet see. For those things I cannot see, I will have faith that they will soon come into being. I will persevere in hope because you are on the throne, God. You are more than able. I pray that both my husband and I will cooperate with your Spirit as you work in us.

Lord, as I bring my requests to you, help me experience your peace, which exceeds anything I can understand. Let your peace be a shield over my heart and mind, guarding me from worry and doubt. Help me fix my thoughts always on what is true, and honorable, right and pure, lovely and admirable. Help me think about the things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Help me put into practice all you have taught me so that your presence and your peace will always be with me.

In Jesus’ powerful name, I pray. Amen!

Philippians 4:2-9; Hebrews 11:1

If you missed the intro to Wife Army '15 and the first three prayer points, read

Let The Fight Begin,

Finding Freedom From An Ugly Side Of Marriage,

Your Biggest Struggle To Fulfilling God's Purpose For Your Marriage, and

Can A Dead Marriage Be Brought Back To Life. 

For all other Wife Army '15 posts and prayers, visit Anna's blog. 

This post is part of a blog series hosted by Anna Frye, founder of Chosen And Crowned Ministries. Anna's heart is to raise up a growing army of women (#WifeArmy15) who courageously pray scripture over their marriages and expect mind-blowing results. This series runs from Oct. 19-Nov. 13. Join the Wife Army and invite your friends at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog.

Welcome back to Week 3 of Wife Army ‘15! There is no formal blog today, but I wanted to give you an Action Point, our week's Prayer Point, a scripture-based encouragement and a Scripture Prayer for your husband’s heart. 

Scripture Encouragement:

Because of Christ and your faith in him, you can now come boldly and confidently into God’s presence. So please don’t lost heart because of the trials you are facing in your marriage. Link arms with other men and women who follow hard after Christ. You all have the same Father in heaven. Together, you are the body of Christ. You are stronger and more effective together than apart. So don’t try to go it alone in life and in marriage. God is the owner of unlimited and glorious resources that he wants to lavish on your marriage as you stay connected with him and other Christ-followers. As you do this, God will empower you with an inner strength, which you will receive from the Holy Spirit. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and his perfect love will keep you strong.

May you have the power to understand how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is for you. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to fully understand. Then your beautiful self and marriage will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within you and in your husband, to accomplish infinitely more in your marriage than you might ask or think!

– Anna Frye, based on Ephesians 3:12-20; written for Wife Army ‘15

Prayer Point 3: Press on in prayer and in spiritual training to take hold of that which Christ took hold of you.

Action Point: Write Ephesians 3:20 on a dry erase board or notecard, and put it in a place where you will see it often. Meditate on it and pray it next time you need to press on in prayer for your marriage.

Scripture Prayer

God, thank you that I do not have to do life alone. You have given me brothers and sisters in Christ, as well as your Holy Spirit. Give me the courage to ask others for help, guidance and wisdom. I don’t want to miss out on blessings because of fear or pride. Please give my husband courage as well to seek out men who will hold him accountable and who will encourage him in his own spiritual training and prayer. Do not let him hold back because of fear or pride.

Give us a vision of the glorious and unlimited resources you wish to lavish on us and our marriage. Help us chase after you so that we can grow up into the husband and wife you created us to be. Open our eyes to the life and beauty available to us as we humble ourselves before you. Empower us with an inner strength, which comes from the Holy Spirit, so that we will not lose heart. Remind us that we can come boldly and confidently into your presence because of Christ and our faith in him.

Give us the power to understand how wide, how long, how high and how deep your love is for us. May our roots grow down into your perfect love and make us strong and prosperous. Make us complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from you, Lord. I praise you for the mighty work you are doing in my husband and in me. I know that you will accomplish infinitely more in our marriage than we could ever ask or imagine. Thank you! Amen!

Ephesians 3:12-20

If you missed the intro to Wife Army '15 and the first three prayer points, read

Let The Fight Begin,

Finding Freedom From An Ugly Side Of Marriage,

Your Biggest Struggle To Fulfilling God's Purpose For Your Marriage, and

Can A Dead Marriage Be Brought Back To Life. 

For all other Wife Army '15 posts and prayers, visit Anna's blog. 

This post is part of a blog series hosted by Anna Frye, founder of Chosen And Crowned Ministries. Anna's heart is to raise up a growing army of women (#WifeArmy15) who courageously pray scripture over their marriages and expect mind-blowing results. This series runs from Oct. 19-Nov. 13. Join the Wife Army and invite your friends at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog.

Welcome back to Week 3 of Wife Army ‘15! There is no formal blog today, but I wanted to give you an Action Point, our week's Prayer Point, a scripture-based encouragement and a Scripture Prayer for your husband’s heart. 

Scripture-based Encouragement

I want to know Christ. For to know Christ is to know everything that is good, beautiful and true. It is to experience the power of life over death. It is becoming like him in suffering so that I may someday glory with him in victory. Therefore, I press on. I press on in prayer for my marriage so that my husband and I can take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of us. Goodness. Beauty. Life. Glory. Victory. Truth. Freedom. Love. My husband and I do not consider ourselves yet to have taken hold of all these things. Far from it. But one thing we do: Forget what is behind and strain toward what is ahead. We press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus.

All of you who have made some imperfect progress in your faith should take such a view of things. Press on because there are still mountains to be conquered. You cannot afford to become lazy in prayer and spiritual training. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. But for the things he has already made clear, put into practice those truths and commands. Link arms with those who follow Christ’s example and take note of how they live. For as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction. Their minds are set on earthly things, but not you, dear Chosen and Crowned friend. Your citizenship is in heaven. We eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ. He has been given power and authority to bring everything under his control. Everything. Every stronghold. Every addiction. Every fear and all discouragement. Every wrong thought and hard heart. Every evil thing that sets itself up against your marriage. Therefore, Christ is more than able to transform your marriage into all he designed it to be. Praise him! – Anna Frye, based on Philippians 3:10-4:1; written for Wife Army ‘15

Prayer Point 3: Press on in prayer and spiritual training to take hold of that which Christ took hold of you.

Action Point: Write Philippians 3:13-14 on a dry erase board or note card, and put it in a place where you will see it often. Meditate on it and pray it next time you need to press on in prayer for your marriage.

Scripture Prayer

God, I realize that the battle for my marriage has only just begun. The enemy will try to destroy us until the day we are taken home to be with you in glory. Help me, Lord, to set my face like a stone and press on in prayer and spiritual training. Don’t allow discouragement to keep my face pressed to the mat. Give me strength to rise and shake the dust off. Remind me that I am clothed with dignity and strength. Let each morning bring me word of your unfailing love. Because you help me, Sovereign Lord, I will not be disgraced or put to shame.

When my spirit fails, do not hide your face from me. Answer me quickly or I will become like those who go down to the pit. Though trouble comes, I will not fall, for you are with me and in me. You will help me at the break of day and command your loving kindness to strengthen me in all my waking hours.

My trust is in you alone, Lord. I give you my husband’s heart today and ask that you make it like yours. Help us to link arms with other couples who follow your example. Show my husband and me how to take note of how they live and then live it ourselves. So many couples live as enemies of you, Jesus. Their destiny is destruction and their minds are on earthly things. Let that not be our destiny. Help us take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. We humble ourselves under your authority in our lives and marriage. Thank you for your perfect love. Amen!

Philippians 3:10-4:1; Psalm 46:5; 143:8, Proverbs 31:25; Isaiah 50:7

If you missed the intro to Wife Army '15 and the first three prayer points, read

Let The Fight Begin,

Finding Freedom From An Ugly Side Of Marriage,

Your Biggest Struggle To Fulfilling God's Purpose For Your Marriage, and

Can A Dead Marriage Be Brought Back To Life. 

For all other Wife Army '15 posts and prayers, visit Anna's blog. 

This post is part of a blog series hosted by Anna Frye, founder of Chosen And Crowned Ministries. Anna's heart is to raise up a growing army of women (#WifeArmy15) who courageously pray scripture over their marriages and expect mind-blowing results. This series runs from Oct. 19-Nov. 13. Join the Wife Army and invite your friends at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog.

When discouragement pins me to the mat, I feel helpless in moving out from under its crushing weight. It taunts my faith and threatens my joy.

As we enter our final week of Wife Army ’15, I’m wondering if discouragement and hope are boxing it out in the ring of your heart for the final win. Which one will lift its arms in victory? Only you get to decide, my beautiful friend.

I haven’t always been good at getting out from under the weight of discouragement. In fact, I didn’t realize how far I’ve come until very recently when I found my face pressed once again to the mat.  My heavy-weight opponent thought I was a sure win.  I mean just look at me. My small build is not very intimidating. But much to the enemy’s surprise, and mine, I declare to you this day…

I have become a warrior.

I’m giggling a little as I type this bold statement. It sounds funny, doesn’t it? When I look in the mirror, I just see a mom and wife who loves her yoga pants and hates scrubbing her kitchen floor. I see a woman who is good at polishing her outer appearance, but often struggles with unpolished faith, fear and insecurity.

But this unpolished woman has a secret identity. She is a Chosen and Crowned daughter of the King, and nothing can strip her of that identity. Nothing.

Friend, as we finish out this week of praying for our marriages, I want you to declare out loud: I have become a warrior. It’s okay to giggle. And maybe you are very new to this warrior thing. But relish in the truth that “he who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it” (Philippians 1:6). He has placed you here in this tribe of moms and wives who are making imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. Together, we will talk bravely about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. Together, we are reminded that lasting beauty comes when we courageously surrender our ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. Together we are an impenetrable force. Together.

I’m so thankful for you. Your bravery amazes me. You help me chase after God with all that I am.

I have a new invitation waiting for you on Friday after some closing words for our Wife Army ’15 journey.

For now though, let’s continue to tackle the messy places in our hearts and marriages with powerful scripture prayer. Discouragement will not get the final word because God gets the final word. So let’s set our faces like a stone and press on.  

See you tomorrow for our first scripture prayer of the week!

If you missed the intro to Wife Army '15 and the first three prayer points, read

Let The Fight Begin,

Finding Freedom From An Ugly Side Of Marriage,

Your Biggest Struggle To Fulfilling God's Purpose For Your Marriage, and

Can A Dead Marriage Be Brought Back To Life. 

For all other Wife Army '15 posts and prayers, visit Anna's blog. 

This post is part of a blog series hosted by Anna Frye, founder of Chosen And Crowned Ministries. Anna's heart is to raise up a growing army of women (#WifeArmy15) who courageously pray scripture over their marriages and expect mind-blowing results. This series runs from Oct. 19-Nov. 13. Join the Wife Army and invite your friends at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog.

Welcome back to Week 3 of Wife Army ‘15! We’re wrapping up Week 3! Here is today’s Action Point, our week's Prayer Point, a quote and a Scripture Prayer for your marriage. 

“Marriage is great when two people enter into it with a mutual commitment to keep it strong no matter what. But often a couple will have preconceived ideas about who the other is and how married life is supposed to be, and then reality hits. That’s when their kingdom can become divided. You have to continually pray that any unreal expectations be exposed and all incompatibilities be smoothed out so that you grow together in a spirit of unity, commitment, and a bond of intimacy. Pray that your marriage is a place where two agree so God will be in the midst of it (Matthew 18:19-20).”- Stormie Omartian, The Power of a Praying Wife

Action Point: Write 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 on a dry erase board or note card, and put it in a place where you will see it often. Meditate on it and pray it next time you need a reminder about God’s definition of love.

 Prayer Point 3: Your husband is not the enemy. Don’t fight him. Pray for him!  

Scripture Prayer

God, thank you that your Word gives us rules for holy living. Teach (husband’s name) and me to be more holy. Help us set our hearts and minds on things above, not on earthly things. For we died to ourselves and our life is now hidden with Christ.

Help us put to death whatever belongs to our earthly nature; selfishness, sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Help us rid ourselves of anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language. Set us free from past hurts, memories, and ties from previous relationships, and unrealistic expectations of one another.

Teach us to love in the way your Word teaches us. Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

We cannot love each other without your help, Lord. Help us. We need you every hour of every day. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen!

Colossians 3:1-9; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

If you missed the intro to Wife Army '15 and the first three prayer points, read

• Let The Fight Begin,
  
• Finding Freedom From An Ugly Side Of Marriage,
  
• Your Biggest Struggle To Fulfilling God's Purpose For Your Marriage, and
  
• Can A Dead Marriage Be Brought Back To Life
  

For all other Wife Army '15 posts and prayers, visit Anna's blog. 

This post is part of a blog series hosted by Anna Frye, founder of Chosen And Crowned Ministries. Anna's heart is to raise up a growing army of women (#WifeArmy15) who courageously pray scripture over their marriages and expect mind-blowing results. This series runs from Oct. 19-Nov. 13. Join the Wife Army and invite your friends at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog.

Welcome back to Week 3 of Wife Army ‘15! There is no formal blog today, but I wanted to give you an Action Point, our week's Prayer Point, a quote and a Scripture Prayer for your husband’s heart. 

“Your husband needs to know the reason he exists. He needs to be sure his life is not just an accident, but that he’s here by design. He must be certain he was created for a great purpose. When he discovers that purpose, and is doing what he was created to do, becoming what he was created to be, he will find fulfillment. This can only contribute to your happiness as well.“ - Stormie Omartian, The Power of a Praying Wife

Action Point: Write Colossians 1:9-10 on a dry erase board or note card, and put it in a place where you will see it often. Meditate on it and pray it next time you need to believe bigger things for your marriage.

Prayer Point 3: Your husband is not the enemy. Don’t fight him. Pray for him!  

Scripture Prayer

God, I thank you for my husband today. He is your workmanship. You created him in Christ Jesus for good works which you prepared for him before time began. Thank you for giving his life purpose. I pray that you would fill him with the knowledge of your will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And I pray this in order that he would live a life worthy of you and may please you in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to your glorious might so that he may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to you, who has qualified him to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.

Urge him, Lord, to offer his body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to you. Give him strength to not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of his mind. Then he will be able to test and approve what your will is – your good, pleasing and perfect will.

Father God, give (husband’s name) the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that he may know you better. Thank you for how much you love him. Remind him that nothing in all creation can separate him from your love. You’re a good, good father. Amen.

Colossians 1:9-12; Romans 8:37-39; 12: 1-2; Ephesians 1:17

If you missed the intro to Wife Army '15 and the first three prayer points, read

• Let The Fight Begin,
  
• Finding Freedom From An Ugly Side Of Marriage,
  
• Your Biggest Struggle To Fulfilling God's Purpose For Your Marriage, and
  
• Can A Dead Marriage Be Brought Back To Life
  

For all other Wife Army '15 posts and prayers, visit Anna's blog. 

This post is part of a blog series hosted by Anna Frye, founder of Chosen And Crowned Ministries. Anna's heart is to raise up a growing army of women (#WifeArmy15) who courageously pray scripture over their marriages and expect mind-blowing results. This series runs from Oct. 19-Nov. 13. Join the Wife Army and invite your friends at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog.

Welcome back to Week 3 of Wife Army ‘15! There is no formal blog today, but I wanted to give you an Action Point, our week's Prayer Point, a quote and a Scripture Prayer for your husband’s heart. 

 ”If I’ve learned anything, it’s that a wife can’t put pressure on her husband to be something, but she can pray for him to become it. She can pray that he be molded according to God’s plan and not anyone else’s. Then, who he becomes will be determined by whether he hears God’s call on his life or not. Your husband is ‘predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will’ (Ephesians 1:11, 12). But you still need to pray that he hears God’s call, so that who he is and what he does lines up with God’s purpose for his life.”  - Stormie Omartian, The Power of a Praying Wife

Action Point: Write Ephesians 2:10 on a dry erase board or notecard, and put it in a place where you will see it often. Meditate on it and pray it next time you need to believe that your marriage is God's workmanship. 

Prayer Point 3: Your husband is not the enemy. Don’t fight him. Pray for him!  

Scripture Prayer

God, I know you can bring life to the dead places of my marriage through the working power of your Holy Spirit. You call my husband and me to cooperate with your Spirit in what he is doing. So, Lord, today I pray that both my husband and I hear your call on our lives to be a husband and wife after your own heart. Do not let us be foolish, but wise in you. Let us be filled with your Spirit. Teach my husband what it means to love me as Christ loves his church and gave himself up for her. Teach me how to submit to my husband, as I submit to you God. Show me how to respect my husband, for this honors you. Teach us to submit to one another out of reverence for you.

Lord, you created our marriage to be a masterpiece and created good works for us to do as a husband and wife team. Show us your will and open our eyes to the work you have given us. Make our marriage a breath-taking image of Christ and his church. May our marriage bring you glory.

Thank you that when you call us, you equip us. Enable us, today, to walk in a way that is worthy of our calling. Don’t let us get side tracked by discouragement or fear. Give us your perspective. Keep our eyes fixed on you, the Author and Perfecter of our faith. Give us patience to wait for your perfect timing. Sustain us in hope for the things we pray for our marriage. Thank you for your faithfulness to us. Amen!

Ephesians 2:10; 5:21-30; 2 Thessalonians 1:11; Hebrews 12:2

If you missed the intro to Wife Army '15 and the first three prayer points, read Let The Fight Begin, Finding Freedom From An Ugly Side Of Marriage, Your Biggest Struggle To Fulfilling God's Purpose For Your Marriage and Can A Dead Marriage Be Brought Back To Life. For all other Wife Army '15 posts and prayers, visit Anna's blog. 

This post is part of a blog series hosted by Anna Frye, founder of Chosen And Crowned Ministries. Anna's heart is to raise up a growing army of women (#WifeArmy15) who courageously pray scripture over their marriages and expect mind-blowing results. This series runs from Oct. 19-Nov. 13. Join the Wife Army and invite your friends at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog.

Welcome back to Week 3 of Wife Army ‘15! There is no formal blog today, but I wanted to give you an Action Point, our week's Prayer Point, a quote and a Scripture Prayer. 

“When we’re miserable in a marriage, we feel that anything will be an improvement over what we’re experiencing. But we don’t see the whole picture. We only see the way it is, not the way God wants it to become. When we pray, however, our hearts become soft toward God and we get a vision. We see there is hope. We have faith that He will restore all that has been devoured, destroyed, and eaten away from the marriage. ‘I will restore to you the years that the swarming locusts have eaten’ (Joel 2:25). We can trust Him to take away the pain, hopelessness, hardness, and unforgiveness. We are able to envision His ability to resurrect love and life from the deadest of places.” - Stormie Omartian, The Power of a Praying Wife

Action Point: Write Hebrews 11:1 on a dry erase board or note card, and put it in a place where you will see it often. Meditate on it and pray it next time you need to believe bigger things for your marriage.

Prayer Point 3: Your husband is not the enemy. Don’t fight him. Pray for him!  

Scripture Prayer

God, forgive me for the times I’ve seen my husband as the enemy. Satan is the true enemy. Open my eyes wide to the ways he’s come to steal, kill, and destroy my husband and marriage. Put on me your full armor, Lord, so that I can take my stand against the devil’s schemes. For my struggle is not against my husband, but against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil. When Satan attacks me and my marriage today, give me strength to stand my ground. I refuse to let the enemy beat up on me, my husband and my marriage.

I pray protection on my husband’s mind and heart. The enemy prowls around looking to devour him. Open my husband’s eyes wide to his schemes and put your armor on him, as well, Lord. Help him to take his stand against the devil’s schemes and destroy him, in Jesus’ name! Don’t let (husband’s name) see me as the enemy. You have made my husband a warrior, so let him fight with the Sword of the Spirit! Raise him up to lead me and cover me with your life-giving Word.

Let your Word and the power of the Holy Spirit bring life to the dead places of our marriage. With faith, I believe that our marriage will become more than all I can ask or imagine. Jesus, thank you for your wonderful promises. I rest in them today. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen!

If you missed the intro to Wife Army '15 and the first three prayer points, read Let The Fight Begin, Finding Freedom From An Ugly Side Of Marriage, Your Biggest Struggle To Fulfilling God's Purpose For Your Marriage and Can A Dead Marriage Be Brought Back To Life. For all other Wife Army '15 posts and prayers, visit Anna's blog. 

This post is part of a blog series hosted by Anna Frye, founder of Chosen And Crowned Ministries. Anna's heart is to raise up a growing army of women (#WifeArmy15) who courageously pray scripture over their marriages and expect mind-blowing results. This series runs from Oct. 19-Nov. 13. Join the Wife Army and invite your friends at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog.

Seeing your marriage come back to life after it is hopelessly dead brings unspeakable joy. Imagine how the hearts of Jesus’ followers must have leapt when they realized their beloved Lord was fully alive! Mary Magdalene soaked the ground with tears of joy. Peter and John ran to the empty tomb with unrestrained excitement. When they saw Jesus, they worshipped him with awe-filled wonder. Their Lord had conquered death. Satan was defeated.

Friend, when your marriage has been seized, beaten and left for dead, know that Satan does not get the final word.  He is a defeated enemy! Right now there may be a tomb stone on your marriage. But praise be to God, the same Holy Spirit that raised Jesus from the grave is the same Spirit working powerfully behind the stone that’s weighing down your marriage! Do not mourn what appears to be dead. Instead, expect to see your marriage fully alive. It’s only a matter of time before your tears of sorrow turn into tears of joy.

I’m not saying this is easy. It requires great faith. Remember what faith is? It is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1). What do you hope for, but cannot see right now? Pray for it with faith.

The scripture goes on to say that without faith, it is impossible to please God. Anyone who wants to come to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him (Hebrews 11:6). Are you sincerely seeking God about his promises for your marriage? If so, then believe that he will reward you!

We must stand firm, sister! Right now, the devil is strategically planning his next attack on your marriage. He’s aiming for the weakest spots in your heart and mind. Where are you most vulnerable? Most likely it’s the areas where your heart has been attacked or feels the most shame and guilt. Has your husband attacked the way you take care of the kids, yourself, or the house? Has he accused you of being something you’re not? Has your husband’s addiction or stronghold made you feel ashamed? Do you feel guilty about a mistake you’ve made in your past?

Sweet friend, listen to me. Satan is the Accuser and Liar. Do you see? He will use your husband to make you feel like a bad mom, wife and homemaker. He will use your husband’s stronghold or your guilt from the past to beat you down with shame.

But not anymore!

No longer do you see your husband as the enemy. Satan is the enemy! No longer do you see your husband as the problem. Satan is the problem!

Be on the lookout today for Satan to attack you through something your husband says or does. Decide this time that you won’t fight your husband.  You will fight your real enemy. Jesus says, “I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and nothing will injure you” (Luke 10:18, 19). The sword you fight with, dear Chosen and Crowned sister, is the Word of God. Keep praying those scripture prayers with faith! 

If you missed the intro to Wife Army '15 and the first two prayer points, read Let The Fight Begin, Finding Freedom From An Ugly Side Of Marriage, and Your Biggest Struggle To Fulfilling God's Purpose For Your Marriage. For all other Wife Army '15 posts and prayers, visit Anna's blog. 

This post is part of a blog series hosted by Anna Frye, founder of Chosen And Crowned Ministries. Anna's heart is to raise up a growing army of women (#WifeArmy15) who courageously pray scripture over their marriages and expect mind-blowing results. This series runs from Oct. 19-Nov. 13. Join the Wife Army and invite your friends at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog.