Moms Need Friends Too

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, [her] friend can help [her] up. But pity the [mom] who falls and has no one to help [her] up!” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Feelings of loneliness and isolation seem to plague moms. A mom might report having many social media friends; however, she struggles to find that one woman with whom she can share her biggest obstacles and deepest hurts. Because there is not much depth to her relationships, she feels there is more comparison and competition going on, instead of compassion and community.   

This decrease in authentic friendships and increase in competition among women is dangerous to our callings as moms.

We were created for deep relationships. We function best in community. The first part of our focus verse today says that when you have a friend walking beside you on this mom journey, you will be more effective in your calling.

I had my babies before the explosion of social media. I didn’t even own a computer until my first born was three-years old! Internet was only available in dial-up and people owned cell phones just for emergencies. If I wanted friends, I had to get out of my house and take some risks in conversation with other women.

I had one really good mom friend when my kids were little. Amy and I met because our husbands played on the church softball team. We got to know each other through joining the same small group at church. We also hung out at each other’s homes, enjoyed meals together and scheduled occasional playdate outings. One of my favorite memories, though, is the countless phone conversations Amy and I had throughout the long daytime hours. Sometimes kids would be crying in the background, but we didn’t mind. We understood that the other one was having a hard day and needed to hear an adult voice.

Those phone conversations were a source of great support and encouragement for both of us and illustrates the last part of our focus verse. When I was down, Amy helped me up. When Amy was down, I helped her up. I often wonder how I would’ve made it through those early years if it hadn’t been for her sweet friendship. Our friendship has ebbed and flowed throughout the different seasons of motherhood. We may only talk once or twice a month now, but we remain dear to one another. We have each other’s backs no matter what.

True friendships are rare, but they are not impossible to find. I believe God has one good friend out there for each of us. If you long for a good friend, ask God to bring you one! Then step out and start taking risks. Don’t let the convenience of online friendships rob you of authentic friendships. There is another mom just waiting for your invitation for a coffee and chocolate date. Moms are stronger together!  

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog