5 Ways To Find Wonder In The Monotony of Motherhood

No one told me that when I grew up life would try to dim my light and dull my sense of wonder. No one told me that, although the messiness and beauty of motherhood would make my world palpable with wonder, I would have to sometimes fight to engage it.

Wonder over the miracle of my newborn baby would fade into an exhaustion fog. Delight over his first steps would disappear into anxious thoughts about his safety. Then there was the issue of losing the wonder of me. What happened to the woman beneath the spit up and stretch marks?

Wonder seems like an abstract concept, doesn’t it? It feels intangible to us, yet as moms, wonder begs us to engage. Tragically though, the overwhelming-ness, sameness and busyness of our daily routines can numb us, make us bored, and ultimately dim our light.

But what if we took back our right to fully engage? What if we dared to see, taste, hear, smell and touch the wonder that is all around us? I bet we’d be surprised to find that those wonder-full things we thought were gone forever – laughter, rest, relationships, beauty -- were not really gone at all.

In my thirteen years as a mom, there have been times I let wonder elude me, but it never stopped calling me to chase after it. And so I did. In my pursuit to engage and rediscover the wonder in my world, I’d like to challenge you -- no, I’d like to dare you -- to try at least one of the following five ways to find wonder in the monotony of motherhood.

1.       Slow down. At the risk of sounding like that old bitty who mouths these words to you as you speed past her house because you’re late for preschool drop off, I beg this of you. One of the biggest myths we believe as moms is that we can do it all and be it all. The truth is, though, the insanity of trying to be super woman is destroying our ability to behold the precious moments and people that are right in front of us. So how do we slow down when life feels so chaotic? Readjust priorities. Say no to what is good so you can say yes to what is best. Sometimes, just slowing down long enough to focus on your breathing will help you engage with wonder even in the midst of the chaos.

2.       2.  Do something scary. You and I were made to take risks and believe for things we can’t yet see. We were given gifts and talents that could dramatically impact the people around us, but our fears and insecurities keep us living small, tired and bored lives. What makes your heart beat a little faster? What makes you come alive? Maybe it’s starting that blog you’ve always wanted to start. Maybe it’s stepping into a leadership role or taking a class online. Maybe it’s planting a garden or letting your preschooler use paint and glitter at the same time. Whatever it is, throw yourself into it with wild abandon, and you will find that where the unfamiliar and the unexpected reside, so does beauty, life and sweet surprise.  

3.       3.  Connect with God. When I got married and had kids, I felt for the first time, the enormous weight and responsibility of being a grown up. This weight pressed me to connect on a deeper level with God. I knew I needed his help, so I began praying more and studying the Bible with other women. What I found was that the more I searched for him, the more I found of him. Getting to know God has brought more wonder into my life than anything else. God is mysterious, full of wonder and unsearchable; yet he is personal, full of love and waiting to be found by you. So talk to him. Ask a friend who has a deep connection with him how she found that connection. Read your Bible and ask God to show you the wonder of himself.

4.       4.  Connect with others. You were made for relationships, so when your life is deprived of deep connection with others, your soul will darken. For those of you who are too busy or too introverted, connecting with others is most likely at the bottom of your to-do list, but motherhood was never meant to be done alone. So go ahead and call up that mom you’ve been wanting to get to know better? Share a cup of coffee together. Get to know her story and make sure to share some of yours. Friendships are a gift of wonder waiting to be unwrapped.

5.     5.    Do a random act of kindness. When life is hard or lonely, our ability to engage with wonder feels almost impossible. I’ve found, though, that if I consciously redirect my negative thoughts onto how I can be a blessing to others, my mood can totally be transformed. Simply sending a hand-written note, baking cookies for a neighbor, or smiling at a stranger can be the one little thing in your day that puts wonder back into plain sight.

So what are you waiting for, dear friend? I dare you to engage today. 

Anna Frye is a speaker, author, television host and founder of the Chosen and Crowned tribe. She invites moms and wives to celebrate imperfect progress fueled by the grace of a perfect God. She helps women bravely talk about the messy places of life, instead of hiding shamefully under them. She believes that lasting beauty comes when women courageously surrender their ashes to God and allow him to do something mind-blowingly amazing with them. If this resonates with you, then you belong with the Chosen and Crowned tribe. Connect at www.ChosenAndCrowned.com/blog