WIFEY WEDNESDAY: Three Reasons To "Let It Go"

Sometimes my husband will say or do something that is – how should I put it – not so loving.  His failure to act in a loving way causes a reaction in my inner woman that is hard to put into words. Picture Ursula, the sea witch from The Little Mermaid, when she transforms into an out-of-control, self-righteous, raving lunatic.

I have just been offended by my husband and my human heart does not deal well with offense. My fleshly desire is to:

1. Start throwing wooden spoons.

2. Point out his short comings and include a few disrespectful words of my own.

3. Prove that he is in the wrong and needs to apologize immediately.

The problem with fleshly reactions is that they tend to add fuel to the fire. I have watched one little comment escalate quickly into a full out fight because my flesh wanted the last word or the satisfaction of proving I was right. What I should’ve done is just let it go.

Anyone feel the urge to start singing Frozen’s theme song “Let It Go” with me? 

There are so many times in marriage that we need to just “let it go” when it comes to an offending situation. Granted there are things in a marriage that need confronted in a healthy way, but here are three reasons why we need to let most offending words and actions just evaporate into the icy air:

1. Offense is a key weapon Satan uses to destroy relationships. Offense produces bitterness and builds walls of isolation (For you Frozen fans, I’m thinking “kingdom of isolation and it looks like I’m the queen”). When you let offense go and choose to forgive, you tear down those walls, prevent bitterness from taking root and keep Satan from getting a foothold in your home and in your hearts. Forgive quickly.

2. Your husband is a good work in progress. Praise the Lord, God is not finished with him yet.  When you choose to let go of offense and choose to pray instead, you are doing something powerful and effective for your marriage.  Offer up a prayer of thanksgiving to God for your husband. Thank Him that He holds your husband’s heart in His big, strong, life-molding hands. Be confident that the man your husband is today will not be the man he is tomorrow. God is always at work molding his heart to be more like His. Pray that your husband’s heart will be yielded to Christ.

3. Let the offense go and take a humble look at yourself. Are you yielding your heart to Christ? You also are a good work in progress. I often think about how I might self- destruct if God showed me all my short-comings at once. Thank God that He only deals with me on a few things at a time. Today, God is teaching me how to be self-controlled when I am angry and offended. He is teaching me to forgive and let go. I am so thankful that God’s all-consuming grace covers me as He molds my heart to look like His. 

Offense plays on our self-sin of pride. Jesus tells us over and over that we must die to self. I have found that when I lay my wounded heart at Jesus’ feet, He lifts me up so I can see the situation more clearly. He shows me when I need to speak and when I need to keep quiet. He gives me wisdom about what to say and when to say it. He reminds me to love my husband unconditionally. He gives me the strength to forgive and fills me with fresh hope that my marriage is a good work in progress. Wifey friend, I want you to be certain of this: that He who began a good work within you and your husband will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ returns. Therefore, give thanks to God and “let it go”.

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