WIFEY WEDNESDAY: When Cow Manure Hits Your Marriage

Commitment. Our culture has a great absence of it. 

We volunteer to help with a new project, but when the excitement dies, so does our commitment level. We sign up to learn a new skill, but when it gets hard, we quit. We join an outreach venture, but when it requires too much personal sacrifice, we stop showing up to help.

We get married, but when the excitement dies, becomes hard and requires great personal sacrifice, we call it quits. The affects of marriages breaking up are devastating. Let me say, first of all, that if you have had a spouse quit on you, I am so sorry. According to U.S. Census Bureau, there are 12 million single parent families in the United States with 80% being led by single mothers. There are many husbands calling it quits on their marriage, but I know there are also wives who are tempted right now to head for greener pastures. 

Greener pastures. I married into a farm family. My in-laws will confirm that I have learned very little about farming in the 18 years I've known them. Sorry Mom and Dad Frye. But I can tell you that pastures look greener and more beautiful from a distance than they do close up. Pastures have holes, cow manure, uneven terrain and rodents causing trouble. Similarly, someone else's marriage or another man may look attractive from a distance, but up close they have imperfections just like the rest of us. There are some great marriage analogies that come from this illustration:

1. Cow manure is unpleasant but it is awesome fertilizer that brings great growth! Trials in marriage, which are inevitable for ALL couples is unpleasant, but the Bible says that when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing (James 1:2-4). 

2.  Uneven terrain is not a farmer's preference.  They would prefer a flat, wide-open field, but hills and valleys make the landscape beautiful. Similarly, your spouse's strengths and weaknesses are like his uneven terrain. You may just want his strengths, but his weaknesses help to make him a more well-rounded, interesting person. And if put in God's hands, God will use not only your husband's strengths, but also his weaknesses to make YOU a more beautiful person inside and out (refer back to #1). 

3. Rodents. Farmers hate and destroy them! Rodents are like sin in a marriage. Left to their own design they creep in, dig holes, multiply and can ultimately destroy a pasture. Satan is the king of marital rodents. His strategy is to send them into your home on a regular basis and destroy your marriage. The Bible says to hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all the strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world (Eph. 6:10-12). Your husband is not your enemy, dear wifey friend. Satan is your enemy and you need to stand up to him! He has no authority over your marriage. Don't let bitterness, unforgiveness and selfishness creep into your marriage and destroy you. Jesus Christ died and conquered the power of sin in your life and in your home. 

Friend, stay committed and fight for your marriage! Love your husband with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other. Be patient in trouble and always be prayerful (Rom. 12: 9-10). Let no one split apart what God has joined together (Mark 10:9)!