Feb. Devo: You've Lost That Loving Feeling

Scripture
"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.  It is not easily angered, it keeps not record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Application
Several years ago, if my husband and I had to choose a theme song to describe our relationship, we might have picked the famous song by the Righteous Brothers, “You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling.” The sound of my heart going pitter patter over my husband had been replaced with the pitter patter of preschoolers little feet running through our house.The daydream of spending time together was replaced with daydreams of an early bedtime and a full night’s sleep. Our moments of whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears had become loud “discussions” filled with unkind words. Instead of dreaming together about our future, we regularly brought up things from the past that offended us.

I don’t know why we were surprised then when one day, we confessed to each other that we felt like we were trapped in a loveless marriage. We knew at that moment, we needed to seek help. I’m so glad we did because together we learned a relationship-changing truth:

LOVE IS NOT A FEELING. LOVE IS AN ACTION AND A CHOICE.

Our pastor advised us to go home and read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and use it as a personal checklist to see how we measured up to God’s definition and standard of love. I was not to elbow my husband in the ribs while we read it and he was not to clear his throat at me. We were to look introspectively and allow the Holy Spirit to convict us about the areas where we had failed one another:

Love is patient; love is kind: FAILED

Love does not envy: PASS...definitely didn’t envy him!

Love does not boast: FAILED. Well, I was more mature and spiritual than him!

Love is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs: FAILED. Ouch, my heart is hurting!

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth: The truth that I’m always right? Okay, okay: FAILED

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.: PASS! By the grace of God, we have persevered and are learning together what it means to truly love one another.  

My feelings towards my husband will not always be the mushy-gushy ones I felt when we were dating. But that's okay and completely normal. The good news is that our feelings are a horrible indicator of truth. When we have "lost that loving feeling", we know the truth is that our love for each other will never be lost. It will never fail. We have learned that real love is an attitude we choose. Our actions towards one another will then reflect our choice to love no matter what.  

We now have a plaque with this scripture hanging on our living room wall so that we can read it regularly and be reminded of how we are to love each other. We don’t ever want to find ourselves in a loveless marriage again. Thank God for His life-giving TRUTH and His bold example of true love and forgiveness. May He continue to mold us into His likeness so that we will love one another extravagantly and unconditionally. What God has brought together, let man not separate (Matt. 19:6).

My husband and I will be sharing some of our story on Feb. 12, during the REAL Life program on WPCB-CTVN.  It airs live at 9am and re-airs at 1pm, 8pm and 1am.

Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank you for my husband. Teach us how to truly love one another and to follow Your example of love and forgiveness. Thank You that You have great plans for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us a hope and a future (Jer. 29:11). Amen!