Mom Guilt

Recently I was chatting with some mom friends and during the conversation, a few of us shared about an incident during the last week when we had screwed up as a mom.  Wanna know mine?  My son threw up on the carpet in the middle of the night and I yelled at him for not making it to the bathroom!  Now that's not going to put me in the running for the Mother of the Year award!  

As each of my mom friends told her story, the next would start off with a tone like, “Well, if you think you screwed up, wait till you hear what I did last week!”  As I listened, the words “mom guilt” came to mind.  Here’s my definition.  

Mom Guilt – The emotion a mom feels when she has made a mistake in parenting her child.  The mistake can be either real or imagined.  If not caught in time, “mom guilt” can spiral even the best mom into believing her child will need years of therapy because of her mistakes.

 
Can you relate?  I bet you can.  I don’t know of a single mom who hasn’t experienced “mom guilt” at one point or another.  In fact, if I were a betting woman, I’d bet most of us experience it on a regular basis.  Next time “mom guilt” attacks your mind and threatens your peace, here are 5 truths to destroy it.

Truth #1: You’re a GREAT mom! Think on that!

 The Bible says to think about whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy!  Think about all the MANY good things you do as a mom and the great sacrifices you make for your child every day.  Make a list if you need to and then refer back to it when “mom guilt” sets in. Let truth ring louder in your ears than the devil’s lies.  Even on your worst day, you are still a great mom because you love your child with all your heart and would lose your life to save his. 

Truth #2:  God wants to partner with you.  

The hard truth is that, as parents, each of us will make many mistakes along this parenting journey.  But, the good news is, we don’t have to parent alone.  God wants to partner with you!  And, he makes a great partner because he is the perfect parent!  Your child is his magnificent creation.  He loves him/her even more than you do. Psalm 139 is a beautiful scripture that reflects how perfectly God knows and loves your child. Read it out loud and insert your child’s name in each blank.

O LORD, you have searched _______ and you know _______.  You know when _______ sit and when _______ rise; you perceive _______ thoughts from afar.  You discern _______ going out and _______ lying down; you are familiar with all _______ ways.  Before a word is on _______ tongue, you know it completely, O LORD.  You hem _______ in – behind and before; you have laid your hand upon _______.  
Where can _______ go from your Spirit?  Where can _______ flee from your presence?  No matter where _________ goes, you are there.  Even when I think darkness has overcome _______, the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you (paraphrased).

For you created _______ inmost being; you knit _______ together in my womb.  I praise you because _______ is fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  All the days ordained for ________ were written in your book before one of them came to be.  

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!  

Truth #3: God’s grace is enough to cover and redeem your mistakes.  His grace is LAVISHED on you.

 Jesus says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corin. 12:9).  

In this text, grace is used to mean God’s sustaining influence that enables you to persevere.  When you acknowledge your need for his help, he will strengthen you and work in your child’s life at the same time.  God is able to cover and redeem your mistakes. The Bible says that because of Jesus and God’s great love for you, you have redemption through Christ’s blood and the forgiveness of sins.  This is all because God has FREELY LAVISHED his grace on you (Eph. 3:8).

Truth #4: If you don’t give up, someday you will reap the blessings of all your hard work.

 “So let us not get tired of doing what is good.  For at just the right time, we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up” (Gal. 6:9).  

Are you going through a particularly difficult season with your child?  Are you worn out?  Don’t give up!  Keep doing what you know to be good and right.  Remember, if God brought you to it, he will also get you through it!  At just the right time, God will bless you for being the great mom that you are.  Remember that God’s timing is usually different than your timing...but it is perfect.  Also, the blessings may look different than you expected...but they will be what is best for you.

Truth #5: There is power in a mother’s prayers.

“The prayers of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16).

Don’t ever give up praying for your child!  Your child’s heart and mind are under attack every day and he needs you to do battle on his behalf.  In the book, “Praying the Scriptures for Your Children,” it says, “Psalm 56:9 declares that the day we call for help, the tide of battle turns.  We are in a battle for the very lives of our children.  What comforting truth to know that when a righteous mom intercedes, using the Word on behalf of her children, God has heard her prayers and Satan’s power is dispelled.  Satan’s attacks can be destroyed by the power of the living Word of God.”

Learn how to pray for your child.  Use the book I referenced above to help you.  Prayer unleashes God’s grace, mercy, blessing, favor, protection and provision onto your child.  Prayer will help your child fulfill his God-given destiny.

Maybe you’re reading this and your child is grown and way off God’s perfect path.  Do you believe that God is able to radically save him and set his feet firmly on the right path?  Do you believe that your prayers can break down any stronghold that has set itself up in his life?  Don’t ever give up praying.  Remember, God is faithful to his promises and loves your child even more than you do.  You do what you can do and let God take care of the rest.  Let go of the guilt.  Your child’s poor choices are not your fault. At some point, a child needs to take responsibility for his own actions.

Fellow moms, we need to lay our “mom guilt” at the feet of Jesus and know that as we partner with God, he will continue to hold your precious child in the palm of his hand.  God has entrusted you with the life of your son or daughter, but ultimately they are his.  Only God can draw your child to himself.  Only God can work in your child’s mind and heart to form it for his good purposes.  You do what you can do and leave the rest up to God.  

Have faith!  Trust in Jesus!  Surrender everything!  Then stand back and watch God display his power in your life and the life of your child!  Praise God for his endless grace!